sometimes when i
think of you the
bad dreams
disappear.

but, other times
they reappear and
hurt me more than
ever.

im still not sure if
you meant to hurt
me or to show that
you care,

but darling im in
hell and this isnt
really fair.

“how do I look today
was it worth holding my hand?”


“darling,
i’m holding the hand
of all of my dreams
you look perfect
don’t doubt a thing”

he spoke in poems
always told her
she was beautiful
dipped her back
parallel to the ground
when he kissed her
like they were always
in a black and white movie
he bought her diamonds
and never let go
while she slept

at the park one day
his hand shook in hers
and he said simply
“darling,
i’m a woman
the operation is tomorrow
if you leave
well, you leave
but my love will never die”

she looked at his beard
and his old green eyes
she decided then
not to let love cry

*“darling,
dont you grieve
tomorrow you’ll look
the same to me
i’m holding the hand
of all my dreams
you’ll look perfect
don’t worry about a thing”

Why must my lips speak
A melody my fingers can play
Must I weaken your ear
When I can weaken your knees?
Looks and sounds are nice
But feelings are beter
Why stumble over three words
When I can double your pleasure with
The featherlight touch of my fingertips
Words are so mundane
I would rather profane a moment with the
Unyeilding touch, the gift
Of all I have and have to give
To live with you wrapped, no curled
(my fingers, your toes),
No, gripping my fingers
Gasping the same way you did
When you were first given life
And given again
To arch and release, to obscene
The silence with the tell tale
Whimpering of two and too
Pleasurable
If there were ever such a thing.
I want to bring you to the edge
And hold you there, begging with
Your eyes, your lips, for sweet release
For your hands
To search for comforting firmness
For something to hold
All the while, inexorable circles
Of a lover’s touch, driving the point
Home like words cannot
Your lips and body making an ‘O’
I don’t have to say it, not now
Not that it would register,
I can give it
You can feel it
This is spiritual, this is everything
The apex of physiology, biology,
Of romance
Happiness brought in ways we could only
Previously imagine
Base instincts take over
(yet still only third)
Curling, my fingers, your toes
And it’s so intense, so beautiful
The three words seem so childish
So understated
Compared to this moment
Calling for a deity a thousand times
What else brings such passion?
Certainly not words, sweet as they can be
And it’s everything, Anything
I feel for you and you for me
In one moment
One moment
One moment
Slays three words
They’re one and the same
I won’t say it, not with my lips
(maybe later)
But you cannot deny the power of
The feelings
And what we do and have done
And will do
A small part of us
But for a moment, everything
Slayer of words
Crumbler of walls
Screams and moans
Pants and breaths, never to be found
Today two years, and a hundred and six days
All in one moment
Tomorrow should you so choose
One hundred and seven
The words can’t hold it all
Can’t hold what I feel for you
But *******
And many heartbeats can
It’s a gift.
It’s everything I have for you
And I’m giving it to you
For a moment, thirty seconds
However long it takes
For the breaths and the heartbeat
And the moans to rise to a ******
And gradually fall
Reveling in the moment, the Love
We’re not fools
No matter what they call it.

I started to write a poem
That was so full of hate, and bile,
That it made me retch to re-read it.
That's not the way I am,
I won't be reduced to that.
You have done, what you had to do,
Nothing more.
I can't judge you for it.
I deleted that poisonous poem,
I won't start down that road.
I still care, I hope that will change,
I hope that you are okay,
I forgive you,
In the hope that someday
I can forgive myself.
It is not easy to write this,
I don't want to forgive,
And I don't want to let you go,
But I will, and I must.

Oh, goodbye,
Goodbye,
You were everything, and now we're nothing.
I will miss you.

I will miss you.

It's what I wanted
it's what I asked for
Why did all this time
have to go and pass for

It's you that's always
invading my mind
You show up on my lips
only time to time

Eyes so deep
You wear your feelings like a shield
Then once again you touch me
and I feel something so real

It's like nothing ever happened
you look right past me
Do you know how I feel?
Why don't you ever ask me?

Now I want you to tell me
what you are between the lines
You don't have to say forever
just let me in sometimes.

I feel like a stranger
I'm no longer me
They took over my life
I don't like what I see

Monsters in my head
Cuts on my wrist
Sleepless nights
I won't longer exist

Make it all stop
My end is coming near
This is goodbye
I'm so sorry my dear

i met a boy today

with warm hands

and his fingers bumbled as

they passed me my change.

i don’t think i’ll see

him again.

but that’s okay.