It’s been obvious for awhile now that we’ve gone our separate ways.
But I can’t help but bring you to the front of my mind every day I wake.
The urge to check up on you, make sure you’re okay, is unbearable to say the least.
To know if you look the same way you did nearly a year ago, or did you change?
To hear that laugh that used to make me sing.
To feel your touch graze my arm, caress my cheek.
All that keeps me going is the saying that everything happens for a reason.
Maybe fate will bring us together once again, even just as friends.
I look up at the sky and smile knowing you’re seeing the same as I.
The perspective might be different but you see the same moon, see the same clouds, feel the same wind.
Even if we have no future, we are all connected, whether we want to be or not.
And maybe that’s enough for me.

I was born for extraordinary love,
A prisoner to a heartbeat,
Seductive, captivating, mine.
Never flatlining in the outline of us,
A hidden agenda filled with time stamps of you.
Two stars never falling away from each other.
Powerful, guiding, free.

Of course I'm fine, why do you ask?
Oh don't mind this, it's just my mask.
It hides the grief, it hides the strife.
I wear this mask to escape my life.
You say my heart must be a sight.
It's bruised but beating, black as night.
It's not just my heart, it's in my soul.
You're killing me like it's your goal.
You're getting close, I hope you know.
You really don't have far to go.
But you don't know, you never ask.
You never look, beyond the mask.

I wonder if you think about me as much as I think of you.
If I cross your mind in the dead of night.
If I creep into your dreams and if you wake up to my face in the front of your mind.
I wonder if you think of me when someone speaks my name, or if you can pass the letters over your lips without them quivering.
If you look over at your passenger seat as the sun sets and glimpse my smile.
If you recall all the memories we shared and hold them as close as I.
I wonder if you pass by someone on the street and question for a second if it’s me, if you hoped for a moment that it was.
If you miss the warmth in your hand where mine would me.
I wonder if your lips miss the familiar taste of mine, if you miss the presence of my body laying beside yours.
I wonder if you ever think to call or text, to send a letter to the girl you made a mess.
I wonder if I still mean something...anything, to you, or if I ever did at all.
Because you were everything to me.
I see you in everything I do, everywhere I go, because I miss it all, I miss you.
And I’m sorry I couldn’t be what you needed.
I’m sorry...
But I needed you too,
And you left.

I haven’t had much to drink since you left.
At first it was just to spite you, but I realize now I don’t need it.
I tried to drown my demons instead of face them.
I looked them in the eye and realized they were the same eyes that captivated mine.
Yours.
I no longer drink to drown them or fight them.
I welcome them with open arms because they are the closest thing I have to your embrace.
I’m now comforted in their company.
They ease my mind because they wear your face.

He was the one who held me in his arms while I was curled in on myself, weeping. Literally gripping my heart, trying to keep myself from completely falling apart. Watching it seep through my fingers like the sand in our lifespan hourglass. He was there to wipe away the tears that never stopped pouring. He was there when I believed myself to be utterly alone; at my worst when I was cruel to anything with a beating heart because I was oh so tired of mine getting broken.

Maybe it’s because I felt I owed you something for giving me all that happiness,
For you to never slip my mind, though I’ve tried to drown you out.
Intoxicating thoughts of you lingered as the toxins took over my being.
As if your hands warmed up my body and heart once again.
My veins a map you sketched to life, but I’m merely a rough draft of the love I thought we were.
Though I gave you everything I was equipped to give, I still couldn’t make you whole, even as you left me empty.
Pieces of my heart were forged to make you anew, but it wasn’t enough.
And neither were you...
I settled into my sober thoughts, no longer drunk off fake love; fake words.
Affections molded to keep me quiet, this happiness I crave wasn’t true.
How could a heart truly love when it’s as cold as you?
A glass heart doesn’t beat, only breaks, as I do.
Yet I can’t seem to slip you out of my mind, by force or gentle persuasion.
I’m condemmed to this loop, hoping you share the same fate as I.
The shattered pieces that remain here hurt, I hope the ones you took do too.
We can bleed together, you and I. Maybe then I’d be enough for you.