you left, two years ago you left. you made a choice to leave. you made your peace with everyone then slowly faded away until you thought no one would care. then you left.

you came back in my dream last night. it wasn't a nightmare and it wasn't a dream. but you were there. i don't remember what you said. i don't remember what you did. but when you were there it felt like you were saying sorry. it felt like you were saying you were ok.

i hope wherever you are you are at peace, i'm going to choose to think you are.

whispering in my ear, telling me how beautiful i am. telling me that i am the best thing to ever happen to you. the room was spinning with light chatter from our friends. it smells like cheap beer and expensive perfume. you pull me in a little closer on the thrift store couch and look into my eyes. then you confess that you love me. it was a whisper just for me but it felt like you shouted it. it resonated throughout my body. you love me and i love you. and in that moment it was just us in the room. it was just us in this world. i love you and i always will

You came into my life like a laugh:
a small chuckle at first
slowly building
and now I'm breathless

A cool fall night and the heat hasn't kicked on yet. You wrap me with warmth as we drift off to sleep. Insomnia and nightmares usually occupy my nights but with you, you occupy all my senses. Our breathing matches one another and we drift to sleep your hot breath on the back of my neck radiating to my ice cold toes.


I wake up in the middle of the night, my normal restlessness creeping in on my sleep. I try to move and not wake you but you just grab me closer, you hold me close to your chest so I can hear your heartbeat.


6:30, 6:45, 7, 7:10 your alarm goes off 4 times but I don't mind. Each time you turn it off you pull me closer, you kiss my face, you wrap your legs around mine, you fall back asleep.


The last alarm finally goes off, and you get up, the bed is cold again. You hug and kiss me, I pull you a little closer and pull your kiss in for a little longer, you groan and reluctantly pull back. You look at me one more time before you leave knowing you'll be back tonight and hopefully every night.

Tonight you made a joke about falling madly in love with me, but I don’t think I was a joke and I’m ok with that. I could feel your eyes on me all night and I realized you’re all I want.

I want to look at you the way I look at food , with longing and desire but I know you won't fulfill my appetite.

How to let go of someone you loved with unreciprocated passion: you don't.