Rows of daisies surround me as I lie in this grass dreaming of hollow bottles etched in gold--
I don't often dream of princesses and castle made of gold but when I do I go big--
You left me at the alter in a white dress holding flowers you hand picked the day before--
You told me beautiful lies about distant lands & we knew money could buy us just enough happiness--
I felt selfish and shallow, taking the money you handed to me like it was free candy it you insisted it was what I had to do--
And it's okay now since you left me beacause I'm finding a cure--
I've let my hair down and walked into the open fields that surround me letting the sun shine down on my face --
I made a crown of flowers as I took a deep breath & realized I wasn't meant for the royal life--
You left me at the alter in a white dress with cheap flowers you said you hand picked and I left you six feet beneath the ground in debt--

Sleepless nights filled with emptiness--
You're my east coast heart--
Tired glances from you to I--
Fingers trace hearts on skin--
Lists of creatively shallow optimism--
I'm falling head over heels--
Wrap your hands around me--
Kiss me harder--
Love me deeper--
Follow me-
To this dark lonely grave--
I created this for only....
You & I --

I can't remember the sound of your voice, well I can ever so slightly, and I can't remember the way you smiled at things... Those little things.  I try to remember the way your lips felt against mine or the way you played with my hair but these memories are slowly fading.

love me I beg you.
leave me you say softly.

Cigarettes and coffee I'm slowly killing myself with caffeine and nicotine... Everything you hate. I can't sleep anymore, the nightmares of our past fill my head, I just remember so much.. But sometimes it feels better to just give in.

i want to die I whispered to an empty room.
i need you in my life I cried to an empty room.

My friends laugh at me... I have always been so independent except when you come around.
I lose control.
I lose rationality.
I lose all emotions besides lust and love... I become so weak

And I just want you to know... i love you
Even though you'll never realize how much... I truly love you.

There was nothing these old love letters could do to soothe the pain I felt in my black hole of a heart...
The moon above me in the starry night sky filled with endless galaxies I've romanticized in my heartless mind.... They can't save me tonight.
I will parish under the ocean as I take deep breaths trying to grasp concept of your love that's drowning me slowly.
There was nothing these sappy love songs & clever words from poets I've never met could do to save me from my ever wandering mind.... I've wandered to far off the tracks... Lost is an under statement.
But tonight I ask the green weeping Willows and the bright tulips to take my heart and show it peace.
I ask for forgiveness from friends and family, from the moon and the stars, from the deep blue ocean; please forgive my sadness.
And with one final kiss goodnight I'll say goodbye to my ever wandering mind and black hole of a heart... I'm finding peace in myself.