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I was not the one that skinned the cat
that was someone else I knew
and Mother said,
(now this is true)
'you'll swing 'cause that's what bad boys do'

I wouldn't never hurt a fly
or any creature that flew by in colours radiating through my skin I only ever wanted to get in and fly myself.
and Mother said,
'why don't you find a girl and settle down', and with a knowing frown unknowing that I'd never settle down I wandered slowly down by the river bank.
Mother always made me see that being frank and open to discussion would stop the rushing in my head.
And it was always Mother said for she knew best,
'change your shorts,put on a vest, wash behind your ears lest potatoes sprout'
and if on being naughty she gave me a clout
(quite often as I recall)
she would always say she loved me and Mother couldn't see the tears that came unbidden into my eyes
when upon reaching maturity I sat to realise the only things that this life brings you free of charge
is Mother's love but by and large these tears I cry will dry and my face will brighten up again.
And Mother said,
'wipe your snotty nose'
Mother always knows everything.
It's a new day.
And even the mistakes I made yesterday....
Are washed away.
The things I fail at today...
Will be different from the things i fail at tomorrow.
I've learned it's okay to mess up....
That I can't be perfect for every body.
I don't like being stuck I'm the middle...
But to move on, I guess ya gotta start somewhere.
It's a new day (:
Had a talk with an aunt it was resourceful. Idk why things are the way they are but that's the way things play out! I can't change ppl but for some reason they have the urge to try and change me.
I see things different but others try to negative reinforcement me to do or be someone I'm not. I think it's foolish that my elder don't know better they do but choose not to do so.
I made my choice I've learned to not set myself up for disappointment and not get caught up in the drama. I'm trying but learned my opinion won't always be valued and heard that's okay because one day. Ill know and have to do it myself I'm always prepared for the worse.
New mind set is refreshing not everyone is out yo get me but I've learned to be open and honest with others. I don't like my words warped but it happens being able to express myself feels better than bottling up my emotions. I dislike being correct or told I'm wrong especially when it's something I've been doing sometime. Show how to do it right if not then don't criticize. I'm really trying but no one believes me being called a liar is insulting. I can't stay around too long so I have to keep moving instead of waiting and feeling held back and useless
I don't always know what to do but I stick to what I like and know. I'm glad to help ppl that allow me todo so. I like helping my cuz in play catch or being involved with those who need me. I like dropping my nephew off at school and picking him up. I enjoying driving my cousin to practice or dropping him off at his friends.
I know being is hard you try to make your way escape the nest trying to not be under the wing of parents. I had parent I love but they were whatever about my career and future choices. Some parents are strict and those kids don't always turn out right making sneaky choices behind their parents back. I'm not saying all just the ppl I know.
I've noticed teens are way different from when I was one. I wanted to play football and be around my friends.
 Apr 2013 Brandon Webb
marina b
tw
 Apr 2013 Brandon Webb
marina b
tw
Mom-
     if you only knew
            how close i have come
                    to letting the acidic, undigested
                            river flow from my throat
                        into a porcelain chamber
              maybe you would think
        before you squeeze
my soft belly again
 Apr 2013 Brandon Webb
marina b
Saturday night I dreamed.
I was roaming in my Nana's house
My fingers tracing the walls filled with
Hundred of photographs, each in a
                    (yo)u-
                   nique
                    frame.
I stopped at one of my mother
Standing at a beach.
Skeletal; she was gone. Skin drawn tight over ribs, tibiae, humeri.

I remembered Sunday morning when I washed out my cereal bowl in the sink.
 Mar 2013 Brandon Webb
Anonymous
you spoke in mocking whispers laughed in taunting sniggers
you thought i never heard your snide remarks i heard them i
heard them all and i realised with thrills of horror that i who
relentlessly strived to go unnoticed was the hottest topic of
gossip you scrutinised me and every ****** action of mine
you broke me down
and crushed my spirit and trampled all over it and when you
were bored my pain became your amusement
you took my silence to be a mysterious ailment you made
assumptions you drew conclusions based on rumours you thought
you knew all about me you don't know anything about me don't
you dare assume you know me or what goes on within me or why
i am the way that i am.
The format was inspired by that of 'A breathless counsel' by Meena Kandasamy - http://meenakandasamy.wordpress.com/2008/06/01/a-breathless-counsel/

As two horrible years come to an end, it's time for catharsis, so here's me 'throwing up'.
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