He poured the coffee
Into the cup
He put the milk
Into the cup of coffee
He put the sugar
Into the coffee with milk
With a small spoon
He churned
He drank the coffee
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He emptied the coffee with milk
And he put down the cup
Without any word to me
He lighted
One cigarette
He made circles
With the smoke
He shook off the ash
Into the ashtray
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
He got up
He put on
A hat on his head
He put on
A raincoat
Because it was raining
And he left
Into the rain
Without any word to me
Without any look at me
And I buried
My face in my hands
And I cried

i remember when you came over for the first time
you said we couldn't go to your apartment
because your tv was broken
i was nervous because it was the first time i'd had a boy over
and even though it doesn't mean a lot
being next to you made everything a little more okay
once you told me i was "the most
intellectually stimulating person you know"
but on the days im too tired to be intelligent
im terrified you will like me less
the first time we were on my couch
you reached for my hand  
but i was too oblivious to understand the gesture
and didn't reach back
and even though i blame it on being naive
i know it's because im anxious that you actually like me back
and im scared shitless that you'll get bored of me
the first time i realized how often you blink
was the same day you told me my eyes are always bloodshot
and if eyes are really the window to someone's soul
it makes sense that you're always hiding yours
and mine are always bleeding
and i know it's not worth much  
but the first time you put your arm around me
was the first time i felt sincerely comfortable with myself
and thinking about your lips on mine
still gives me goosebumps
and i know feelings are transient just like everything else
but your laughter is my favorite thing about being awake
and i know me liking you can't make you like yourself
but i will try
god, i will try

I hate airplanes.
I hate them
More than
Anything
I've ever hated.

Except the flight
From Dulles
To Ft. Lauderdale.
I like that.

Especially at night
When it feels like
Stars
Can be caught with
A thin fishing line
Twenty feet away

And eventually you
Go off the mainland
And can't tell where
The water starts
Or
The stars stop.

Then you see a
Sudden line of lights below
And beyond that
An infinity of bright bursts
Of lights
And lamps.

All darkness,
Then suddenly
Light.

I really hate planes.

But not the flight
From Dulles
To Ft. Lauderdale
At night.
I love that.

It's two am
and the thoughts consume me
the thoughts of you
are pulsing through my head
Just like my heart beats for you

For you, forever
Or at least that's how it's supossed to be.
Clearly things change,
but you're still all I see
your face in my eyes
your touch in my dreams

I'll forever think of you
and what we used to be.


(a.f.c)

Our love could be poetic,
full of imagery.
Picture us together,
you and me

Can you imagine the light?
The lights, the sparks, the flames
But where there is fire
There’s bound to be pain

So what happens to us?
We burn into ash,
and all of a sudden,
We’re a thing of the past.


(a.f.c)