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Angela Campbell May 2014
I’m scared I’ll never stop loving you
You’ve long stopped caring, but what if I can’t stop
I’m scared I’ll never outgrow my bad habits
I’ll be grown, a grown woman,
and I won’t stop.

I won’t stop sneaking out in the late
hours of the early morning, shivering
in nothing but your old t-shirt, steadying
my hands enough to light a cigarette, puffing
slowly, reflecting
on the good ole days,
when we were each other's everything, the nicotine
numbing me when I think
about how now, we’re each other's no more.

I won’t stop sitting on the floor, distressed
leaning on the pale empty wall, a single
bottle of scotch, almost slipping
through my numb fingers, sad memories,
flashing through my head, I close my
eyes, let my head lean on the wall, think
about what could’ve been.
But is not.

I won’t stop slicing my skin with a
thin razor, my heartbeat
so slow, I’m practically
dead, my mind
a mile a second.
Disappointment. Failure.
Unwanted. Unloved. Sad. Depressed. Suicidal.
running down the sides of my
thighs, so much blood. It won’t stop
bleeding, just like my heart.

I won’t stop loving you.
I won’t stop missing you.
I won’t stop thinking about you. Us. Our love.
Your love was my drug. My tongue tracing
outlines on your skin, drawing
hope for tomorrow, but tasting
nothing but sorrow. We
were each other’s remedy to our own sad
thoughts. You saved me once,
Can you do it again?

Angela Campbell Feb 2014
Something as simple as trust,
Can make a relationship combust.

Food for thought
Angela Campbell Feb 2014
But where I am
It's always warm
My soul is sad
Sad like winter
So what I want to know
Is why do I miss the cold?

Angela Campbell Feb 2014
is so cold
you're so sad
you feel alone
drink hot cocoa
put on a sweater
go out in the snow
watch the darkness
feel it inside
it's only a season,
but all you want to do,
is cry.

is the start of something new
everything's bright
everything's fresh
you feel so happy
you feel refreshed
the sun is out
it warms your soul
finally out of
that ******* cold

is bright and fun
fly a kite
get some sun
go the beach
eat a beach
feel the juices on your chin
go in the water for another swim
stay up late
sleep in later
a new guy,
summer love,
it's almost fatal.

is full of color
the perfect temperature
relaxing afternoons
drink some tea
cuddle like a cacoon
not too cold
not too hot
go for a run
take a long walk
it's never ending,
the time you're spending..

Angela Campbell Feb 2014
Who wants love?
We're all in a race for hate
No peace, no love
Is this supposed to be our fate?

Perfect little kids,
With smiles on their face,
But when they're alone,
Demons fill every space

Please our parents,
please society
Please, make it stop
Demons, cry for me

When will this end?
When our lives are spent?
When there's nothing left,
Except scars on flesh?

Angela Campbell Feb 2014
I look to you,
You calm my nerves
Calm within
Calm on the surface

You and me
We signify peace
We represent unity
We are harmony

Together as one
One soul
One mind
When it comes to us,
Everything's fine

Angela Campbell Feb 2014
I sat there,
Longing for passion
But your love for me
Comes in rations

I have to gather up my ration points
Like a girl in the depression of war
I can save then for a while and
Get something really big
Or I can spend them here
Or there
It makes me want to spit

I deserve your love
We don’t have to be at war
If I have to work for one more hug,
I might not love you anymore.

I've decided to write a series of 18 poems, because instead of trying to patiently wait until February 28th, this is my version of a countdown, to keep me preoccupied.
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