Are you unhappy with how we hold hands?
When every finger fits?
Does my beard tickle or prickle?
Or does it turn you on?
A silly, little, fickle thing,
To cast my doubts upon
Does my voice scratch or scrape?
Does it surprise and delight?
Or does it swallow you
In the endless ocean of night?
Can I make you happy?
And have enough to spare?
Or am I driving on empty?
Too gone to care

there I watch my whole life
somewhere between the earth and sky
Thankful that we never parted empty-hearted
    
    Thankful that we never even made a sound
And with everything you brought in
You never let me hit the ground

Afraid of what lies beneath the surface
I retreat into familiar lands
That hold me close in barbarous arms
And in the night I see him
Turning in his dreams
Sobbing/\ laughing, until/\until
The earth becomes too much to bear
And he is alone again

His father came to him without words
"I Fear Myself" was what he said
And in the morning I awake
To see him in the mirror

I look to my bedroom wall
And escape into a thousand lifetimes
Cascading into brilliant gems of
Liminal reflection... caught!
Only to slip away again into the edges of forever

It's not enough
It's never enough

My dreams of you are (have become) a heavy blanket:
                            a lie to bathe by, a comfort I drown in.
As every radio static memory blends into infinite color.
                             It becomes so hard to imagine that you were always really there.
           And worn as I am, can you hear them?
                       And now I am, so afraid.
                                With silent anticipation,

I could tell you about our time
Of two people lost in a fire
I could tell you of warm satin
Warping the edges of forever
Melded by hot tears, unable to
Quench the darkened well inside my heart
It was a time when everything
Was forever and
nothing
Was never again
And every word we spoke was a tidal wave
Deliberate… Constant… Always…
And then it was no more
Oh how quickly you rocked
Back and forth
Back and forth
Sobbing like a child
In that instant
I could feel your soul
Being so honest with me
For the very first time