Eh like playin fitba wee meh Dad,
It's so funny and a wee bit sad
'Cause when eh beat him he gets mad.
Eh like playin fitba wee meh wee lassie,
She plays fitba like Shirley Bassey,
Meh Dad canny tackle, he's so mince.
He devs in and taks awa meh pins.
Meh lassie heiders the ba wee the back o her heid,
Like a fish oot o water
Just before it's deid.
Unfinished Draft. Notes for the hard of Scots:
Football Crazy
One does enjoy playing football with my Father,
It is quite amusing and also a little upsetting
because I am more technically gifted as a player than my Father. Which upsets him.
One enjoys playing football with my Daughter.
She has the playing ability of Shirley Bassey. (ie not very good. Ms Bassey is NOT known for her footballing prowess.)
My Father does not possess the footballing skill nor ability to legitimately dispossess one of the ball. He lacks skill in the footballing department.
Rather than obtain the ball through fair play he prefers foul play.
My Daughter's ability in the headering of a football is seriously lacking, to the extent that it resembles a member of the aquatic family in its death throes.