I know that you only think of me as a friend, but there is just something about the way you act around me. the way your eyes light up like the sunlight streams through my curtains in the early morning. the way those very eyes look at me like you're trying to solve a puzzle and you can’t quite get the pieces to fit, but you force them to anyways. there is just something about the way you say my name, like the way a little kid learns a new word and finds himself saying it all throughout the day. the way you talk to me, and the way you know not to talk, but to just be there when the anxious thoughts creep in like a heavy fog during the night. I know that you only think of me as a friend, but there is just something about the way you make me feel. almost like you want to spend the rest of your mornings, days, and nights only saying my name, over and over and over.

loving someone that you cannot have
is one of life’s most tragic things

because when you drive me home
and i listen to you ramble about
your passions and dreams
i stay quiet because i am afraid
that if i open my mouth
“i love you” will fly out
and i will not have the chance
to reach out, grab it,
and put it back away,
hidden,
where it belongs.

you will live your life and i, mine.
but in my dreams, awake or asleep,
we will be together, side by side,
living.