My happiness is gone.

I don't know where it went.

It might have slipped out of my heart and up my throat while I was sleeping.

Or someone might have stolen it.

All I know is that it's gone forever.

I have my happy pills.

They force fake happiness into my brain.

They trick my heart into thinking that I'm happy.

They trick my friends into thinking I'm happy.

They trick him into thinking I'm happy.

They trick my family into thinking I'm happy.

But the worst of all is that they trick me into thinking I'm happy.

My happiness is gone.

Where could it have gone?

Maybe it's there behind your ear.

Or hidden in a hat.

Is this a magic trick?

One where you wave your hand over the hat and say the 'magic word'?

This is a cruel trick.

One that can't be undone.

My happiness is gone.

And its no where to be found.

Darkness, thats all I can see.

No light, no glimmer of hope.

No way out, no way in.

How did I end up here?

How do I escape?

Simple, I don't.

When will the light kiss my face again?

When will the wind caress my skin?

When will the grass tickle my feet?

It wont.

I will never be allowed to leave.

I can never be who I once was.

I can never go back.

I might be happy now but that can change.

The darkness will slip it's cold dark hand into my heart and steal it away.

How long will this last?

When will it be over?

When will my cries be heard?

When will this darkness release me from it's grasp?

The answer?

Never.

My heart beats like a drum.

It only beats that way for you.

The steady beat thrums in my chest.

'*** *** *** ***'

If you are near it speeds up.

'BumBumBumBumBum'

When you are away it gets softer.

'***        ***       ***       ***'

I love the sound, oh how beautiful it is.

I hear yours too when my head is on your chest.

It speeds up when I smile at you.

Does it slow when I leave you?

Or does it stay the same, unbothered by the lack of my presence.

I need to know, if your drum reacts the same as mine.

Two drums beating in harmony.

Two drums beating in time.