Been gone for a while
Lost my knack for words
The poet pipe used to be my crack
And I'd splice it with some herb.
But I lost the good vibration
That made me tic the keyboard tac
But some reason now I'm writing again
The youngin age is coming back.
I missed all my fellow typer's,
Penner's, grinners, ******'s
Writer's. Dont take ****** word wrong
Because trust me I'm a ****** to,
Hello out there my fellow poet
That's right, Gramps did miss you.
I've been enjoying the sun
Not trapped inside the hellopoetics cube
We all need some getaway time
To come back like a fresh flower
Renewed and refined. So for today
I inscribe my bloodlines time,
Because in time we record our being's,
Today I'm back to make fancy words
And tell you fanciful thing's.
Glad to see you, hello Mr and Mrs
Poetry, hope your doing well\
Gramps missed your typing keys.

"This is a song..."
"This is uhh, This is a new song..."
"It's through the eyes of one of the greatest people alive, I feel..."
"The Lunchlady"
[Laughing]

Woke up in the morning
Put on my new plastic glove
Served some reheated salisbury steak
With a little slice of love
Got no clue what the chicken *** pie is made of
Just know everything's doing fine
Down here in Lunchlady Land

Well I wear this net on my head
'Cause my red hair is fallin' out
I wear these brown orthopedic shoes
'Cause I got a bad case of the gout
I know you want seconds on the corndogs
But there's no reason to shout
Everybody gets enough food
Down here in Lunchlady Land

Well yesterday's meatloaf is today's sloppy joes
And my breath reeks of tuna
And there's lots of black hairs coming out of my nose
In Lunchlady Land your dreams come true
Clouds made of carrots and peas
Mountains built of shepherds pie
And rivers made of macaroni and cheese
But don't forget to return your trays
And try to ignore my gum disease
No student can escape the magic of Lunchlady Land

Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
Navy beans, navy beans, navy beans
Hoagies & grinders, hoagies & grinders
Navy beans, navy beans
Meatloaf sandwich
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe

Well I dreamt one morning
That I woke up to see
All the pepperoni pizza
Was a-looking at me
It screamed, why do you burn me
And serve me up cold
I said I got the spatula
Just do what you're told
Then the liver & onions
Started joining the fight
And the chocolate pudding
Pushed me with all its might
And the chop suey slapped me
And it kicked me in the head
It's called revenge Lunchlady
Said the garlic bread
I said what did I do
To make you all so mad
They said you got flabby arms
And your breath is bad
Then the green beans said
You better run and hide
But then my friend sloppy joe came
And joined my side
He said if it wasn't for the Lunchlady
The kids wouldn't eatcha
You should be shakin' her hand
And sayin' please to meet ya
She gives you a purpose
And she gives you a goal
You should be kissin' her feet
And kissin' her mole
Now all the angry foods
Just leave me alone
And we all live together
In a happy home

Thanks to
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe
sloppy joe, slop, sloppy joe

[Spoken]
Well me & sloppy joe got married
We got six kids and we're doing' just fine
Down in Lunchlady Land

It's a cold bitter pill
When your left alone
To thrills. Thrills only
Creatures at night will
Understand. We've turned
Weird. Asking hand to hand
For money instead of
To share.











We've fondled the devil's head




And we wonder why all the years we did sigh
When our coffins were Inked of misery\
From the misdeeds we have fed.

Lying in a bed
Of peccadilloes turned to imposing poundage.
Only to have died
Long ago.

Luscious western wind comes daily to kalamazoo
She told me she was my mistress
I took it as all kool
Kool wave rider
In his older years
Still got it mamaa

Who's master do you serve?
Asked the mistress to Mr longnhard
I serve
Master Bation,
Replied Mr longnhard
The mistress replied back
'Do you have any idea how I get ahold of this master Bation?
Mr longnhard replied'
You can get ahold of him you just need one or two finger's
To reach out to him!

Meeting Mrs swaller down on rustic Blanche
I hung from a tree
1973
A night not to forget
Of me and mrs swaller's behind the door romance

Chick-peas oh chick-pea come back and grab your squirter because I know the juice in the apple is being squeezed like a mellamuffin

Grandmammy just turned
64 today
Grandpappy bought grandmammy
A shirt like a maid

When your colon is swollen
Use a little milk of magnesia it will give you amnesia
To how sore your **** really is gonna be
Afterward's.

The molehill got bigger
Behind the red crimson barn. Gramp's gun today will have some fun. Shooting away at the furry rat bustard's!
Their holes have made my crop's a sickly figure
Creating my land into disaster
As a creating poet I'll write of the hole digger's
As a grandpa,
I'll shoot their brain out of their head's.
Mole day
Today their dead!

If there's a storm coming

Mount the swish.

Give mother nature

And Dr earth

A tender kiss.

Had to catch little chicken
Last night in the hen house'
That chicken
Had in his little belly a big mouse.
Double the meal!

Surrender
To what you surrender
Mr meander

Jimminy crickets
I found
Snot
On gramps McDonalds biscuit.

Filthy, ******,
Who likes nutty buddy's?
Nutty bar you *****.

We've put more effort into helping folks reach old age
than into helping them enjoy it.
Frank. a. Clark quote

The older I get
The crazier I get.
I like the word crazy
Because I'm a crazy old coot.

Who said I'm schizophrenic?
Oh look politician's doing good for the country
Oops sorry my ****** visions again

Rephrasing Ex President Ronald Reagan.
Mr. President, Barack Obama, TEAR DOWN
Your wall's of payola!

I thirsted for peach cobbler
And nanner puddin.
Mama sure knows how to bring
Grandpa' the goodin's.

Trickle down
Rain rainy rain
Trickle poppers
Slippery membrane.
Slippy tickly beard
Prickly pear hair.

Skippy hopper
One leg bopper
The wife's my shopper
Food for grasshoppers!
I will eat like a Piggie
Today when I eat some Piggie
Gonna have to digalig biggie
A hole
For the piggie
Bones

Chicks that flirt
Make sad boys hurt!

Shiny *****
Going minster
Fat man silly *****
Get me Billy?

I think I'm getting a little older
Now that my ****'s are turning gray
My Beard's turning to gas
And I have ***** hair's
Crawling out of my -

Take heed youngin' seed's
When your early in age you laugh and you bleed
Then you get to thirty
Start getting bald.
Then fourty
Grey hair on your ball's,
Then moving fifty
Hair's all gone
Hit sixty *** drive goes
While your making TV dinners
Eating sloppy joes.
Seventy
Which I have not hit yet.
You myswell dig a grave
And kiss your behind like he's your pet
You might make ninety
If you do
Pull the plug
Hide under a rug
Let the mortician collect the dust
From your bald head-+

The ****** rats
Didint escape old man's trap
So now they nap
Next to my pups food bowl
And yummy monkeys
The puppy's full.

Pick up the phone
Dial home- hey E.T on the line,
Does he like reese's. Maybe not now
But soon he will in time.

If you got a dollar
I got you fifty cents
If you want I can trade you avocados
If you wanna pay my expensive rent?

Fiddle diddles

Rhymin riddles
Gramps needs more sleep

Gramps is ****** skittles
Ate to much of those sugary treats.

Backs aching




I'd love for grandmammy to rub these feet

Crocodile scars
Teeth enlarged
Drinking bars
What did the croc say to the cattle? Mooooooooo
What did the cow say to the croc-man
Wolf
As really the croc-man
Was a dog with scales.

If my time is to come
Then dog nabbit wrap me up
Like a rabbit in an old farmers coat
I prefer dickies.
I want to be warm
When my land gets stolen or sold
At least I won't sell my soul
Even if my land is taken
And I feel no more whole
I wanna be warm
Dog nabbit!
Not cold.
And gift wrap my banjo
Send it off to sea.
Let the sailers of the Pacific coast
Play sea songs
For me.

grampys taking a dinasaur nap.
Great gramps is getting old.
Feeling like shat.

Shrine marbles roll
Like little baby told me to go
So I went with the flow
And like gold
Grandpappy shined

****** Dee
****** dumb
****** me
Has to buy a
New shotgun

Crack a whip?
Or crack a nut?
In your mid to high sixties
You will be cracking bones legs and your smelly old ****

Pie pie
In the belly
Yummy crumbs
Oh no smelly

Comedy make's a comic out of me
Snizz snizz bleep

East coast bombed with snow
West coast with fire.
They should make a baby together
Call it the abominable snow hotty.
Wonder what their babies would look like

Tonight
The ***** time
Of soak and poke
And
Grandmam's
Is all mine.

Took the corn from their places
Grampy wiped his dirted face
A towl and a handbag
Sanded desert of CA today
Buggy duning
Or Chevy tuning
Which seems more for me
Pleasurable their both sight's
For sore finger's

I'm not a centerfold beaut!
I'm an old man with steel toed farmers boots.

What do you get
When ya mix some ****
Into some fine clay and dirt?
Ya get good farming soil.
It's irony how we eat crap
And we turn to crap when turning stiff corpses.

On the tractor today
Ran over a chipmunk
And its brain scattered on
The tires of the tractor,
What a stink mess.

My wild beard, has snares in it
Prickly prickles, like sick **** suckles
Little thistles flip flap plop
Today i got cop*stopped
Maby because the Santa beard
But this Santa will be jolly St nick!¢

What's going on
Where is all that
Kerfuffle coming from. Can't you get along?
Hey now stop playing dumb.
I'm hearing all negativity
Noones getting along
People got it in the 60s
Whether fake or not
They played their songs.
Hey what's the commotion
Getting mad at others
Haven't you learned a thing
To love one another.
Still you shed innocent blood
Not talkin' just by steel,
Words like deadly poison
To and fro get real.
Talkin down another
Hey " throw away that cutter,
Didint your mother teach you to
Hold your tongue
Don't say hey mother f.. ..
What you speak is
What you are
And what you are
Is what you speak
Am I getting to you
Do I seem unreal
Though it's many realities
I teach

I don't expect anyone to understand an old stranger
Like me. I don't understand many things of others
Either \ their strange to me to

Hungry for some poetry
Gramps will give you words for free.
My write will not cost you a dime
I will make you laugh, **** and cry.
Don't Let the gas go around the room
Smells like skunk, it smells! Peeeww.
Hungry for a write or speak
Gramps is here, poem of the week.
I may be abnormal, a little odd
That's because I was born a thorn and ****.
But don't dislike me for how I am
We're the same, strange writer man.

An old ****
Banjo playing
Hippie
That rides
A farm machine with
A shotgun for protection
Or killing little critters
Who loves avocados,
Who eats nachos cheese
Cheese dip,
With the original cigars
On his lips
With stains
In my old flannels.
Yeah im outdated,
But gramps
Hasn't lost morals
Unlike today where the word moral is said
And you are arrested
Shot and blasphemed
For just being you.
The world's gone a little strayed
Has it not?

It's complete euphony
Hearing memorable Melody's.

Remembering from the age
of five and up.

Ma' always warming my milk
with honey in the cup.

Ma' wanted best,
and showed what hard workin was!

Hard workin not slack, was the way her hands had become.

It's complete euphony, hearing her sweet talk before bed

Has it been that many years ago Ma', your sweet lullaby's said.