It’s been highlighted, underlined, written on the side of my shoe: do not awaken love until it so desires.
It is to love then, not to me or to you, that I owe an apology
Because when they told me love hurts— I invited it to knock me down.

I think you try to talk to me because I knew you best and you like that,
But every time I offered you a tissue you took it as a chance to cut into mine,
And I let you to chip away a shade of my hue with every slice,
Changing the gradient and adding cracks to the contour of my soul.

Every time I slid my skin off for you it was under artificial light,
Painting the yellow pigment of my skin shades of black and blue instead of allowing me to stay golden because shiny wasn’t the right color,
You didn’t need to see your reflection the truth wasn’t interesting to you.

You didn’t take my honor you ignored its existence,
I made love to you without making you love me,
That’s why it’s so funny that now you don’t play hard to get,
you play hard to get rid of.

Realizing I deserved better changed everything,
You had nothing to offer but your own confusion and version of the world,
But I have my own now,
And I’ve colored it to be absent of your blacks and blues.

I am the age at which you died
no comely pictures immortalize me,
though I am not washed white with time
like you

a lone silver streak stripes my chin

many would say
you were too sensitive for this world
thus rushing your years
and guiding the barrel to your mouth

I would pit my pain
against your Nobel torments any day
if such things be a contest,
what is not, though
a rabid race to the grave?

but who would really win?
for your mother’s madness did not leave you
skittering around like a cat on a hot tin roof
and your father’s anvil hands
did not leave scarlet letters
on your skinny legs

excuse me then, if I don’t
grant you a capital letter in your name
excuse me if I don’t applaud your time in the ring
or say bravo to the iconoclast
for your sparse use of words
(though, “for sale, baby shoes, never worn” was…perfect)
excuse me if I don’t think your readable feasts
should be on everyman’s menu

you were but a man
who drank and ate and fought and ******
until you could no more and decided there was nothing left
I respect your triggered choice and do not call it craven
but janitors aren’t made legends
they just clean your brains
from the floor

Dear #2 pencil I want to thank you for always being there for me
I know you break easy under pressure but for the most part you're stronger than I'll ever be
See I'm hiding behind the curtain while you take center stage
You give me the swagger that's unleashed upon this page
Eraser never there but only because you give what little you have to make me sound better
Pens so selfish and Don't you dare listen to those other colors cause you're the real gogetter
Black or white I never quite understood it, when asked a question I just ignored it
I'm thinking I'd like to stick with the shade of gray I'm familiar with
Everyone seems to take advantage of what you're capable of , I promise to respect you
I know our time will only grow shorter so I wont break you down but build you up forget the life you're used to
This is my point of view and I think you're great, like us all overworked and under paid
You end up fading away but I cant complain, even one day I will decay

It heals the heart
Nurtures the soul

When life gets tough
And takes it's toll

It instills a calm
Whenever there's fear
Reassurance of someone near

At times when words
Get in the way
This does more than they could say

When we feel like quitting
Pulling the plug
Often we only need

    (A hug )

I don't get why your ****** eyes can't see
I don't get why your short frame can't grasp
I don't get why your semi-average mind can't understand
I don't get why it can't seep in your dark skin and chubby belly that

I  l o v e  y o u

because you care for your friends with utmost loyalty, sincerity
because your eyes shine with fire for the things and the ones you love
because you never run out of wild stories and theories
because your laugh is more than enough to make me laugh along
because your crazy ways take me in an adventure, not chaos definitely
because you would rather be odd in this apathetic world for the sake of chivalry
because you give me more innumerable insane reasons
but actually, simply
because you

You may see yourself as someone unlovable, detestable
but please get rid of that nonsense
because I am here
and very soon,
distance and time would get in the way but
I will always be here and

**I  l o v e  y o u

a band of pink clouds
settled in the western skies
late yesterday eve

Same cycle, turning wheels and whirring motors
Running my life, mechanic.
Sleep and time are my loves, and I am Poe:
They were taken from me, my sleep is dead.

Sleep is eternally sleeping.

The dead spider under the refrigerator,
The crushed centipede on the bathroom wall,
Crawly things: crawlersout the dead skin you refuse to
Scrape off.
Skin sleeps and melts: drip on the floor, paint stains from the living room walls.
It has been the same color for years, the exact color I despise.
It reminds me of Mondays and Sundays.
The steriotypicality.
It goes in circles, everybody hates them
But they are me favorite shape. Not then arrows guide
In the forever, never ending march forward.
An army of automatons, gears screeching and crying, but most of us are so emotionless, faceless.
Drinking not the water or bubblies at party's, but the crude oil emitted from the ground.
And it turns their skin orange, no one likes the fake ness, caked on
Tar that you think make your eyes shine.
And the gossip, squeaky voices that talk endlessly about everything but reality.
I want to **** them all, the lies.
And I want to sleep forever, escape from everything I have ever despised,
And I want him to join me. Wrap me in a hot quilt that he formed with his own physique.
Somehow make me forget about everything but that.

But no, it doesn't fit in this never ending waterwheel. Not enough grooves to
Scoop up the sand of my life and give me a mission.
But we can defy the sand, the horrid hourglass that ticks away, the sound of pebbles
Plunking into a river.
Throw them off of a bridge and jump with them, as some people do.
Ignore them, or help them. Most are too blinded by themselves.
They can't stand change, but it shapes them. A unique shape other than the rounded
The rest are.
But I am lost. No clue where to go, what I am saying, I should be put away,
Blank white room or a steel table in a morgue.

Hallowed ground means nothing to me. Coffins are cramped, horrid boxes of sadness,
I will not die that way. No crying, tears will soil your handsome clothes.
I was reborn. You still have me close; my form changed. A circle
Does not define me anymore. I put another notch in my medicine wheel, another
Cure to my disease. Another way to say as much as I do.

But the walls are still the same dreary color. Skin just cooling, but splattered on the floor;
Cover it with a rug. Distract from the blank walls, no expression. Never changing.
Or write on them with colored pen. Carve things into them.
Change yourself. Put yourself away because inside that thick skull
Is an asylum of your own.