I remember the first night I met you. You greeted me with a smile, and god, that smile could have ended wars.
That same night, you told me that I'm beautiful accompanied by a "good night" text.
The next few weeks of being with you consisted of the same exact routine.
You seemed almost perfect from what I could tell.
Every time we were together, it was a little after 11:00 pm and we were always busy laughing and kissing, ignoring the movie you had playing for the past forty five minutes. (Although, it didn't really matter considering you had an awful habit of starting the movie where you left it playing the last time you watched it.)
You finally asked me to turn off your t.v. so it could just be me, you, and the dark.
We laid there with our bodies pressed together enjoying the silence. I'd feel your fingertips running down my side, to my hip, and you'd slide your hand up the back of my shirt so you could run your hand down the vertebrates of my spine.
You told me that my skin was soft and you couldn't seem to keep your hands off it. If I close my eyes, I can still imagine how it felt to feel your skin on mine. The goosebumps still appear even though I know you're not really here.
You always had a thing for staring at me far too long for my comfort. I covered your face, you kissed my hand, and after I removed it, you stared at me so intensely for a few more seconds, it was as if you were trying to dig out my secrets.
And don't even get me started about your lips.
Every time you kissed me, it always felt like it would be the last, but it wasn't. The last time you really kissed me, I had no idea I would never feel your velvet lips on mine. I thought you'd stay forever and I'd never have to go a day without kissing you, but boy, did I have a very unpleasant surprise coming my way.
We'd fall asleep in each other's arms every single night we were together, even though we both knew I had to be back in my own bed within the next hour or two. I'd wake up, check the time, and you'd whisper how you didn't want me to leave yet and how you'd miss me too much, but you couldn't stay with me because I had to wake up for class the next morning.
You walked me home every time, even though it was freezing outside and you were exhausted from a long day at work. Our hands were constantly clasped so tight it seemed as if they had melted together and nothing could get between us. You made sure I was safe before leaving me with a sweet goodbye kiss.
You'd text me when you got back home and would tell me goodnight even though I just saw you ten minutes before that.
My clothes smelled like you. My hair smelled like you. God, even my skin smelled like you. I'd fall asleep with my sleeves pressed up against my nose because it helped me forget that I had to sleep without you for the rest of the night.
I'd wait all day to see you again. The hours dragged on forever. I couldn't wait to be in your arms again. I have never craved someone so badly before. You were different.
Unfortunately, this all came to a halt. I still remember the last night I spent with you. I even remember what outfit I wore. I had no idea I would never see you again. I knew you had to leave for a little while, but not forever.
I lost you.
I didn't know why. I wondered what I did wrong, but come to find, it wasn't me who ****** up. It was you. I didn't understand why you did what you did, but you told me you had your reasons. You had no valid excuse of hurting me, though. You were at a loss for words until I was sending you paragraph after paragraph and you finally had some ******* to come up with.
I hope she was worth it.
I could have loved you. If only you gave me the chance.
B.S.
I know it's long, but it doesn't take long to read