When the brain no longer hums, you have won
When the tears no longer swell, you have won
When the flesh no longer bounds you to Earth, you have won
Your soul speaks so kindly
It is beautiful
You knew that the physical could not hold you down
You are so much more than flesh and bones
You are here, you are home

This absent feeling
Just warmed up by the sun
Hungry in the back seat
Just like everyone
She's driving towards home so we think that we are done
Only to pull into the parking lot of another one
The long drives to pick up used items
The starving stomachs and the attitudes
The constant reminder that you better not be rude
The feeling you get when you finally get some food
A bean and cheese burrito
It'll have to do

I was humbled by love
The stubborn kind
The kind that wanted me when i did not
The kind that gave up. ... sort of
Until I was ready
When I was ready, it seemed as if it were too late
I was mistaken
Though he couldn't say it or show it
We both knew

I am not in the mood to write but I think that's okay
I'm not in the mood to write at least not today
It's better to lay down and dream up unreal things
It's better to chill and forget everything
That doesn't pay the bills though
That doesn't keep you fed
If you can't pay your rent then you won't have a bed
I'd rather go to sleep than to work on anything
I must be sick

evolve or stay the same
I didn't get the chance to do the things I loved because the spirit of depression was so strong
I prayed it away and was able to live another day
When I found out about my powers I shared them with others
They were confused
I now know to keep them to myself and let the world unfold in front of me
Taking apart the sky
Piece by piece
Not ever understanding poetry
I guess I could educate myself
Figure out how they dress
How they talk
What they listen to
I will be less like me and be more like you because I deserve to live a long happy life
No matter what I tell the others I too have a dream
I will feed that dream no matter what it takes
I will do what brings a smile to my sons face

I was following my passion but then I tried acid
I moved on I lived
I skipped all of my classes

I know this feeling
This feeling is not a friend
It will chew you up and spit you out again
Leaving a hard heart
Throbbing veins and head
You can not lay comfortably in bed
You must be up and outdoors
Nothing is more important than your chores
You fear the future you fear the past
Danger lies ahead if this feeling lasts

I am going to write about you until I can't anymore
All I can think about is the negative person that you are
The jealous rat that seems to hide behind these big brown eyes
We are all so terrified
If we leave it up to you then nothing would be done
So you take mindless orders from everyone
You think that it's normal
It is not
You lay and watch and clean all day as if it's the only thing you know how to do
As if that is the definition of you

Do I love you ?
Do I want to spend the rest of my days with you?
Do you love me?
Is *** all that you want from me?

You're honestly just like me
All hurt and sad so clear to see
But it's only clear to me because you hide it from the world and that is what I do too
Everyone thinks I'm happy but they haven't got a clue
I'm very thankful that I bumped into you
You're honestly better than the rest of them there's something about you that makes me want to stay by you forever
You're so kind and loving and clever
I just love the person that you are today and I really hope that person never fades away
I honestly believe that I am the only one who can understand you I honestly believe that I'm the only one you call, "boo" I honestly trust you with everything inside of me I honestly love you for who you're becoming you're the one I want to give all my loving

Hey Moses
I didn’t really know you
After we all got separated from each other, we all changed drastically
It is not your fault
I wish you had someone
We all had at least someone
I’m sorry for the way your life went
I’m sorry we couldn’t be there for you
You did the best you could
And I’m proud of you because you tried for so long!
You could have called me any time I would have answered
We were always there for you, brother
If you knew me, you’d know you can call even if you were angry with me
I would have answered
You are welcomed in my life
You are welcome here
I wish I could have known you
But the old you, the baby you was the only you I knew
We grew up and let the world take us and now there only lies a few
Moses, what are we going to do?

Your words they slip right out of my hand
Your lips they kiss but it's so sad
You don't want me
No longer need me
When we're together it's like you don't believe me
How can I trust someone who won't trust me
How could I breathe when the answers are so hard to see

I wish that you could write a beautiful song
I wish that we never ever went wrong
I miss talking to you so sweetly
I miss the way you treated me like a human being
I can't stand the way you treat me like a dog
I'm so upset and my anger is turning into a thick black fog
I would like to leave but there is no where to go
I'd like to stay but there's no love to grow

We remember the best souls when they are long gone
We remember how they smiled and the sound of their laugh
Their scent
We remember the way we felt around them
We remember
We don't want it back we simply remember

His smile is so fake and I think that it's okay because nobody notices anyway
But I do and I wish that I can fix I wish that I could help but honestly I am more worried about myself because I am important but so is he he is important he is worried about his family and I'm stuck here in the heat standing and laughing and wondering why I let myself slip away and there is nothing I can do in this case there is nothing I can say to change the way that things are going I am alone but I am soaring in the minds of the lonley because I am there too it may not seem like it but I am and it's not okay to smile away and neglect the pain

I want to say that I love you
It's so dumb to
I've loved too many people
How do I know if it's right with you?

Honestly not giving a ****
Always singing or dancing
Always laughing
Struggling and asking for help
No one lent a hand
I am sorry that this was your reality
You deserved so much
You went through too much much for this to be the end
I am hoping to reunite with you
I am hoping to reunite with you

I have much to say but little courage
To get out the bed and write
I have curled up in fetal position
I have sweated all night
I asked to be saved and He did just that
I didn't think you'd be gone though
I didn't do the math
You showed me love
You showed me care
The very least I could've done was be there
I am so sorry that life turned out this way
I am so sorry about this life, love.
You deserved so much more

It’s almost like my heart has eyes
Big huge eyes with no lashes
And dark rings that surround them
With no lips or ears so the senses are limited
It’s like the only thing my heart can do is look around like it has lost its shoes
Or keys
Or remote
Or almost anything
It’s like my heart can no longer sing

I will do more
I will do better
I will have a positive mind
A written letter
I will work on me and I won't stop
I'll look back once I am at the top
Once I have reached a goal
I have so many
I will accomplish all of them
I have plenty

There is a fire that dances in my chest
Holding on to my heart it knows you best
Everything I do is for you and for my son
I want to see us win
It feels like we won
You are always with me no matter what
I get up and I fight for you and for my baby
I get up and repeat this on a daily
You are the sweetest and you are the coolest I wish that things could have been different with you and your world
I introduced you to mine and you adored it but decided it otherwise
I remember thinking I wasn't good enough to save you but that wasn't the case
The poison was just so deep in your veins that you couldn't help but let it stay because the moment you tried to release it, you got sicker and weaker
Your world depended on it and I had to stay away but that is the game of life we can choose to leave or to stay

Got into writing and I can not stop doing it
How to undo all of this foolishness??
I'm taking my time
To write
To think

I was looking for you and I couldn't find you
I kept on looking and I still couldn't find you
I looked elsewhere and I couldn't find you there
I finally gave up and found someone else
Then you turned around and stood there
Letting me know that you've been here all along
I don't get why you kept hiding
We could have stayed together

What the **** is going on ?
I keep making promises and you're gone
I can't keep my word because I'm so sad inside
I'm so messed up it's hard to hide
It gets harder and harder every day
It stays hard until it goes away
I am still here for you
I wish that you were here too

When is the last time you wrote something?
Was it when you felt good?
Was it when everything seemed great?
Was it when you had a lot of food on your plate?
Or none at all?
What sparks your writer's bone?

I get so ******* mad at you but when I'm lying down next to you it feels better than being alone and cold and when you hold me and look at me with bright eyes I feel hopeful and I forget the bad

Being away from you was probably the worst feeling in the world
I never realized that the term homesick can also apply to people
I am homesick for you
I miss you
This time there is no meeting up
This time there is nothing
I will not be able to see you again
I will not be able to see you again
This pains me deeply

I wish that I could get rich off writing poetry and ****
I know that wishing is no better than actually doing it
I understand the ways of the world
If I dare interrupt then it'd cast a spell
One I can undo
Only if I am good to you
Only if I share my pain
In order to do no more than gain

I wasn't there and you withered away
I wish that I could have understood how much you needed me
Before it was too late
It would be nice to see you again and hold your hands and sit on your lap
It would be nice just to see you smile
It would be nice to see you dance again
Like you did when we were kids
You always kept a smile on your face through the toughest times
You always brought joy to the people around you.
I love you, Sister,

It's needed it's not a choice
Speak up let them hear your voice
Show your children that there is a way out
Show them on your own don't let them suddenly find out
Be honest from the start
Be open when it comes to that heart
Remember they need you
Don't forget about the time when you were a kid
Wanting everything and being able to get it
Give it to them
Give your all to them

If I can't hold your hand
I will write to you here
you were so special my Brittany dear
your life was a mess but that is ok because your spirit was so rich and beautiful and loving
People treated you mean
People threw hate
I am sorry that you had to live life that way
You are still my sister no matter where you have gone and I still miss you
I will forever sing your song
I love you sister
So so much

Trust me
When I say that you need to stop caring about what they think
You need to stop caring about what they think
Sometimes it is impossible to let go
But that is the only way
Happiness is always open just like a super Walmart
Learn to understand your own brain and your own heart
Let people in at your own risk
Teach people the way you are and show them that if they choose to leave then they will miss you tomorrow
Because they will
When you are so secure in yourself they will

Okay now let's talk about the happy things
getting a job
Driving a car
Having everything baby needs
In the moment yes we are doing fine
Building a great future takes some time
Going back to school
New shoes
Good food
New country music
The fresh air
A shower every night and morning
The netflix options when things get boring

Letters to the moon
She won't send them back
Letters to the moon

She thinks it's funny that I rhyme
I think it's sad that she wastes time
It could all be better for the both of us
But what was said will never be undone

You left me
I need you
I felt like I wasn't enough for you
You showed me that I was everything and you adored me
How hard was it to be left alone
How hard was it to leave this earth alone
I wanted to be there and at least hold your hand
Maybe sit with you
Pray by you
To feel your warmth one more time
To feel you take in your last breath
How could this world be so cruel to you
Your heart filled every room with sun
Your soul still speaks
You are still my everything

I always seem to hate the things I love at some point
I don't get it
I wish you were here with me
No kidding
I ended up hating you
But you didn't
I saw you changing and it hurt me I was depressed
And you deserted me
You left me all cold and worried
You never loved me you were just *****

All that I have left are these flashing sad memories
I think of you at your best and then you start to think of me
We were cool and we had it good until you started to leave
Then everything turned to **** baby how could this be
I need to live and start my life I need your help I need my guy
But you went and left you have gone away
I need you the most and you're not here to stay
What can I say what can I do when all I want is to be with you

Quit staring at me is how I feel
Look the other way
I honestly keep seeing you look my way and when I look up you look away
I do not know if it's envy
I do not know if it is jealousy
I do not know if you are scared of me
All I know is I want to breathe
I can not do that normally
As long as you keep staring at me
Let me be

You are young you are sweet but you need to learn a few more things
You're still growing up I think and that's fine just don't involve me

did I really give up on this??

I felt protected next to you
I felt like you understood
I felt like you were always there to help
When no one else would
I can not believe that you are gone
It hurts today
Tomorrow
Yesterday

I just cried so much
Sometimes I won't eat because I'm wrapped up in thought
Every now and then I have no one to call
I think of all the good things this life has and I keep smiling
I have to hang on
What will keep me going?
Maybe a sharpened pencil when there is no sharpener
A glass of milk with a large piece of yellow cake and chocolate frosting
Having a mattress on the floor instead of blankets
Having your hand to hold when it 40 degrees out
I think of all the great things and it's hard to complain
Maybe that's why I started writing again

Has it really been five days?
I can always check
I just want to sit and act like I can't

Out of touch with reality
How to snap back?
I don't know how you see
Everything is haunting me
Not only the past but what lies ahead of me
It is not bright it is dark it is sticky

Merry Christmas
Today life taught me that life is really what you make it!
If you maintain a positive attitude then you will live a positive life
Lying to yourself is not an exception
Giving is very important
Try not to take so much
Use your manners
Eat to make yourself full this holiday season
Do not hold back

I have all day
God has given me the best kind of life
I am going to chase my dream
I am chasing my dream
I will do what I can to get where I want
To get where I need

I think of the words the wise ones have told me
I think of the feeling that they gave to me
I think of the success
One day I'll be successful

I remember your little lungs struggling so hard to breathe
You were brand new, a few days, in fact three
You let it be known that you were hungry and wanted to cuddle you wanted to hold me
I was up all night making sure you were still breathing
Protecting that sweet smile from evil
That is all I did and will continue to do
You love me and I love you

you guys ever think about the things you did and think "what the ***" what the *** what the *** I can not believe that I have done that
Anyways all of the things I have done are now in the past and it is now up to me to make a better life and all of that for sure I have so much to look forward to but at the same time it is so scary and it is so strange to even think about the past
The past is a dark place but I have so much to get done right now we will talk later okay?