The world suddenly went quiet
In all the best ways
You showed me that love was never there
I learned that the feelings I had with you were opressed for over 10 years
Now I've come back with great vingence and you hate this version of me
You can't stand that I have a voice
You can't accept that I love myself now and how smart I am now
You and everything you're made of just settled in me and I can't unsee it. You were never good
I only believed it

When the brain no longer hums, you have won
When the tears no longer swell, you have won
When the flesh no longer bounds you to Earth, you have won
Your soul speaks so kindly
It is beautiful
You knew that the physical could not hold you down
You are so much more than flesh and bones
You are here, you are home

Hey,
I'm okay. I am able to rest now. It's so dark in here but I love it. I am able to finally be who I want without judgment
Everyone is so kind and loving
I have a huge yard where I can play football "touchdown"
A big big house it's my father's house
Don't worry bink I am always here with you  I love you forever don't be scared
Tell Ariah I said I love her and tell Ambrosia and Azarae I'll be with them soon.

You're honestly just like me
All hurt and sad so clear to see
But it's only clear to me because you hide it from the world and that is what I do too
Everyone thinks I'm happy but they haven't got a clue
I'm very thankful that I bumped into you
You're honestly better than the rest of them there's something about you that makes me want to stay by you forever
You're so kind and loving and clever
I just love the person that you are today and I really hope that person never fades away
I honestly believe that I am the only one who can understand you I honestly believe that I'm the only one you call, "boo" I honestly trust you with everything inside of me I honestly love you for who you're becoming you're the one I want to give all my loving

This absent feeling
Just warmed up by the sun
Hungry in the back seat
Just like everyone
She's driving towards home so we think that we are done
Only to pull into the parking lot of another one
The long drives to pick up used items
The starving stomachs and the attitudes
The constant reminder that you better not be rude
The feeling you get when you finally get some food
A bean and cheese burrito
It'll have to do

Art is the only thing with no boundaries yet you refuse to create you keep this hold on your throat and you let it decide what it does with you.
You could easily choose not to but this is where we are now
I hate to leave you in the dust but this is where we are now
You mean nothing to me and you have meant nothing for the longest time
You have created a horrible life for yourself and you continually blame it on other people and that is not their fault this is your responsibility and you should take care of it
This is what you have to show for what you have worked hard for and I hope it is worth it I hope you find love and peace and happiness and most importantly wealth even though i don't mean financial wealth but I do mean wealth and health and happiness.

Hey Moses
I didn’t really know you
After we all got separated from each other, we all changed drastically
It is not your fault
I wish you had someone
We all had at least someone
I’m sorry for the way your life went
I’m sorry we couldn’t be there for you
You did the best you could
And I’m proud of you because you tried for so long!
You could have called me any time I would have answered
We were always there for you, brother
If you knew me, you’d know you can call even if you were angry with me
I would have answered
You are welcomed in my life
You are welcome here
I wish I could have known you
But the old you, the baby you was the only you I knew
We grew up and let the world take us and now there only lies a few
Moses, what are we going to do?

I will do more
I will do better
I will have a positive mind
A written letter
I will work on me and I won't stop
I'll look back once I am at the top
Once I have reached a goal
I have so many
I will accomplish all of them
I have plenty

When is the last time you wrote something?
Was it when you felt good?
Was it when everything seemed great?
Was it when you had a lot of food on your plate?
Or none at all?
What sparks your writer's bone?

Your words they slip right out of my hand
Your lips they kiss but it's so sad
You don't want me
No longer need me
When we're together it's like you don't believe me
How can I trust someone who won't trust me
How could I breathe when the answers are so hard to see

I was looking for you and I couldn't find you
I kept on looking and I still couldn't find you
I looked elsewhere and I couldn't find you there
I finally gave up and found someone else
Then you turned around and stood there
Letting me know that you've been here all along
I don't get why you kept hiding
We could have stayed together

evolve or stay the same
I didn't get the chance to do the things I loved because the spirit of depression was so strong
I prayed it away and was able to live another day
When I found out about my powers I shared them with others
They were confused
I now know to keep them to myself and let the world unfold in front of me
Taking apart the sky
Piece by piece
Not ever understanding poetry
I guess I could educate myself
Figure out how they dress
How they talk
What they listen to
I will be less like me and be more like you because I deserve to live a long happy life
No matter what I tell the others I too have a dream
I will feed that dream no matter what it takes
I will do what brings a smile to my sons face

I wish that you could write a beautiful song
I wish that we never ever went wrong
I miss talking to you so sweetly
I miss the way you treated me like a human being
I can't stand the way you treat me like a dog
I'm so upset and my anger is turning into a thick black fog
I would like to leave but there is no where to go
I'd like to stay but there's no love to grow

I wish that I could get rich off writing poetry and ****
I know that wishing is no better than actually doing it
I understand the ways of the world
If I dare interrupt then it'd cast a spell
One I can undo
Only if I am good to you
Only if I share my pain
In order to do no more than gain

What the **** is going on ?
I keep making promises and you're gone
I can't keep my word because I'm so sad inside
I'm so messed up it's hard to hide
It gets harder and harder every day
It stays hard until it goes away
I am still here for you
I wish that you were here too

I am starting to see that you have nothing to do with me
That I should just up and walk away
For whatever reason it may be
But it is a gut wrenching feeling
For whatever reason
I have to leave you in the dust and not tell you anything
I have to get back on my grind
It takes one step at a time
The things you are saying without even saying it
The places you go and you aren't even paying

It's needed it's not a choice
Speak up let them hear your voice
Show your children that there is a way out
Show them on your own don't let them suddenly find out
Be honest from the start
Be open when it comes to that heart
Remember they need you
Don't forget about the time when you were a kid
Wanting everything and being able to get it
Give it to them
Give your all to them

Honestly not giving a ****
Always singing or dancing
Always laughing
Struggling and asking for help
No one lent a hand
I am sorry that this was your reality
You deserved so much
You went through too much much for this to be the end
I am hoping to reunite with you
I am hoping to reunite with you

I know this feeling
This feeling is not a friend
It will chew you up and spit you out again
Leaving a hard heart
Throbbing veins and head
You can not lay comfortably in bed
You must be up and outdoors
Nothing is more important than your chores
You fear the future you fear the past
Danger lies ahead if this feeling lasts

I get so ******* mad at you but when I'm lying down next to you it feels better than being alone and cold and when you hold me and look at me with bright eyes I feel hopeful and I forget the bad

I wasn't there and you withered away
I wish that I could have understood how much you needed me
Before it was too late
It would be nice to see you again and hold your hands and sit on your lap
It would be nice just to see you smile
It would be nice to see you dance again
Like you did when we were kids
You always kept a smile on your face through the toughest times
You always brought joy to the people around you.
I love you, Sister,

I always seem to hate the things I love at some point
I don't get it
I wish you were here with me
No kidding
I ended up hating you
But you didn't
I saw you changing and it hurt me I was depressed
And you deserted me
You left me all cold and worried
You never loved me you were just *****

Do I love you ?
Do I want to spend the rest of my days with you?
Do you love me?
Is *** all that you want from me?

I want to say that I love you
It's so dumb to
I've loved too many people
How do I know if it's right with you?

Trust me
When I say that you need to stop caring about what they think
You need to stop caring about what they think
Sometimes it is impossible to let go
But that is the only way
Happiness is always open just like a super Walmart
Learn to understand your own brain and your own heart
Let people in at your own risk
Teach people the way you are and show them that if they choose to leave then they will miss you tomorrow
Because they will
When you are so secure in yourself they will

All that I have left are these flashing sad memories
I think of you at your best and then you start to think of me
We were cool and we had it good until you started to leave
Then everything turned to **** baby how could this be
I need to live and start my life I need your help I need my guy
But you went and left you have gone away
I need you the most and you're not here to stay
What can I say what can I do when all I want is to be with you

She thinks it's funny that I rhyme
I think it's sad that she wastes time
It could all be better for the both of us
But what was said will never be undone

You are young you are sweet but you need to learn a few more things
You're still growing up I think and that's fine just don't involve me

There is a fire that dances in my chest
Holding on to my heart it knows you best
Everything I do is for you and for my son
I want to see us win
It feels like we won
You are always with me no matter what
I get up and I fight for you and for my baby
I get up and repeat this on a daily
You are the sweetest and you are the coolest I wish that things could have been different with you and your world
I introduced you to mine and you adored it but decided it otherwise
I remember thinking I wasn't good enough to save you but that wasn't the case
The poison was just so deep in your veins that you couldn't help but let it stay because the moment you tried to release it, you got sicker and weaker
Your world depended on it and I had to stay away but that is the game of life we can choose to leave or to stay

I am going to write about you until I can't anymore
All I can think about is the negative person that you are
The jealous rat that seems to hide behind these big brown eyes
We are all so terrified
If we leave it up to you then nothing would be done
So you take mindless orders from everyone
You think that it's normal
It is not
You lay and watch and clean all day as if it's the only thing you know how to do
As if that is the definition of you

Got into writing and I can not stop doing it
How to undo all of this foolishness??
I'm taking my time
To write
To think

Quit staring at me is how I feel
Look the other way
I honestly keep seeing you look my way and when I look up you look away
I do not know if it's envy
I do not know if it is jealousy
I do not know if you are scared of me
All I know is I want to breathe
I can not do that normally
As long as you keep staring at me
Let me be

Letters to the moon
She won't send them back
Letters to the moon

His smile is so fake and I think that it's okay because nobody notices anyway
But I do and I wish that I can fix I wish that I could help but honestly I am more worried about myself because I am important but so is he he is important he is worried about his family and I'm stuck here in the heat standing and laughing and wondering why I let myself slip away and there is nothing I can do in this case there is nothing I can say to change the way that things are going I am alone but I am soaring in the minds of the lonley because I am there too it may not seem like it but I am and it's not okay to smile away and neglect the pain

I have much to say but little courage
To get out the bed and write
I have curled up in fetal position
I have sweated all night
I asked to be saved and He did just that
I didn't think you'd be gone though
I didn't do the math
You showed me love
You showed me care
The very least I could've done was be there
I am so sorry that life turned out this way
I am so sorry about this life, love.
You deserved so much more

I have all day
God has given me the best kind of life
I am going to chase my dream
I am chasing my dream
I will do what I can to get where I want
To get where I need

Out of touch with reality
How to snap back?
I don't know how you see
Everything is haunting me
Not only the past but what lies ahead of me
It is not bright it is dark it is sticky

Being away from you was probably the worst feeling in the world
I never realized that the term homesick can also apply to people
I am homesick for you
I miss you
This time there is no meeting up
This time there is nothing
I will not be able to see you again
I will not be able to see you again
This pains me deeply

Okay now let's talk about the happy things
getting a job
Driving a car
Having everything baby needs
In the moment yes we are doing fine
Building a great future takes some time
Going back to school
New shoes
Good food
New country music
The fresh air
A shower every night and morning
The netflix options when things get boring

you guys ever think about the things you did and think "what the ***" what the *** what the *** I can not believe that I have done that
Anyways all of the things I have done are now in the past and it is now up to me to make a better life and all of that for sure I have so much to look forward to but at the same time it is so scary and it is so strange to even think about the past
The past is a dark place but I have so much to get done right now we will talk later okay?

did I really give up on this??

It’s almost like my heart has eyes
Big huge eyes with no lashes
And dark rings that surround them
With no lips or ears so the senses are limited
It’s like the only thing my heart can do is look around like it has lost its shoes
Or keys
Or remote
Or almost anything
It’s like my heart can no longer sing

We're both scared
Nothing is original no more
All we do is fear
No one is for real no more

I still have to recover
I still have to wait
I still have to witness you go through that pain
I can easily block you but the pictures keep popping up
I never knew I followed so many people who are hitting that rock
You brought so much hurt and it hurts to blame you but it's the reality no one can change you and if the woman who is meant to be with you was standing there in front of your face, you'd probably turn her down all because of her race and you'd choose the next one because she seems like she is more fun she has no ID no sense of well being she doesn't give a **** about anything but you still care you want to be with her then go
go if you dare

I felt protected next to you
I felt like you understood
I felt like you were always there to help
When no one else would
I can not believe that you are gone
It hurts today
Tomorrow
Yesterday

If I can't hold your hand
I will write to you here
you were so special my Brittany dear
your life was a mess but that is ok because your spirit was so rich and beautiful and loving
People treated you mean
People threw hate
I am sorry that you had to live life that way
You are still my sister no matter where you have gone and I still miss you
I will forever sing your song
I love you sister
So so much

Get inspired by the music
Get inspired and then lose it
Go crazy
Yeah baby
January weather is finally over
It's getting hot
It's now or never
Make a move

Daddy issues is really a thing
I only feel great when I'm the one celebrating

Backflips on my mind
The summer is gone I'm off my grind
What have I done these past 6 months besides complain and whine
There was nothing I did to help the kid there was nothing I did to become stronger
I just stayed sober until the year was over and started to actually feel this boulder
I've been carrying it on my back I've been feeling so insane I've been making moves and spending time trying to control everything

Bless the world with your beauty
The world will bless you with it's love
The world will take care of you
The world will help you
You must help the world