Greeted by a shadow,
In the middle of the night.
Emotional feelings,
Replaced with fright.
And on my bed,
I found a lock.
The one from my gate,
Quiet the shock.

We live in a racist world,
Where politicians want to see
Just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where all people see right now
Is just
Black
And White.
We live in a racist world,
Where corona virus is "Asian virus"
There was
Black plague
Spanish flu
We live in a racist world,
Where everyone wants an answer
To be
Black
Or White
But in this racist world,
Just black or white won't do
Because
You're
Still
Oppressing
Those
Not
Just
Black
Or white.
In this racist world we need to remember,
WE ALL MATTER!
Not just those
Black
Or white!

The fires burn,
Flames a bright red.
Our stomache churn,
At the sight of another death bed.
And yet again we see,
The civil break out.
Screaming with there last breath,
In and attempt to be free.
From a war in race,
A war on colour.
Red running in the streets,
Let's all band together.
But remember to hide,
From another riding down.
To your thoughts please bind,
But be careful of the red horse.

Rip my heart right out of my chest,
And take my breathe away.
Stutter my words cause I always forgot,
What I meant to say.

Cause I,
Never really want to let go.
And I,
Never really want to try
To make this pain fade.

So take my soul,
Take my soul away.
And save my love,
For another day.
Just take me away,
Take me away from here.

I shower at midnight,
Cause it's quieter that time.
And as the water falls off my shoulders,
My quiet mind beings to rhyme.
No paper to record it,
It's better for the mind.
To let go of something to the water,
A bad memory to never again find.

I wrote love songs for hours,
On and on with out an end.
I really thought that you were,
My best friend... but you weren't.
I'd like to tell you everything,
That you did to make me hurt.
But doubt you'd ever listen,
Or take in a single word
And fix your miskates,
But you wouldn't care anyway...

You bleed,
Just to know you're alive.
You hurt,
Just to prove you survived.
You'd do anything,
Just to go back to normal life.

When I let you down,
Please get up.
You're always right,
I'm always wrong.
My heads spinning around,
Please just wait for me.
Don't make me move,
Don't make me go.
I still love you,
I hope you still love me too?

Ever get that feeling,
That you're not good enough?
Or maybe,
That you are worthless...
Easily replaceable?

Yeah same,
I feel it in a place I'm supposed to call home.

The stars glowed above her,
The luminescent blue and purple lay across her body.
And there she laid.
Her hair swept over her face,
Impending her vision.
It shook the trees that lie rooted deep in the earth.
And the clouds wept over her frail body,
The beat of their tears resembling such as hers.
Deep rooted like the trees her body grasped on to the loose soil,
Intertwining it in vines.
Majestic as the sunrise,
It shone down bearing life to the lifeless body.

Pink and small,
Bald headed and all.
For nineteen year old parents,
the delicate squeeze and hug, filled their hearts…

Then she grew up,
And two years later there's another.
Maybe the next one would be better,
Better than the first screaming terror.
Nothing more that they wanted than a decent sleep,
But once she grew up it would be fine.

Life wasn’t hard for the kids,
Unaware of what was going on.

Now let’s skip forward a few years...

Opening the gates of hell it was,
Walking into nothing but screams and torture rooms.
Where two little girls,
Dreamt of a land of fairy tales and mystery.
Much of a hell school seemed,
It was made better.

Jumping lines chased by goblins and dragons,
Fairies handing lemon grass as they sat on the oval.
Evil witches walked through the complex.
Bucktoothed, ginger, freckled witches.

The fantasy began to fray,
As they grew up and moved away.
I still remember the fun we once had,
Before I moved and everything turned bad.

It's,

L ike an
O verbearing parent,
V indicating themselves,
E ven though all they did was hurt.

Is this what love is?

I open up my head,
Pour it on the page.
Emotions they spill out,
Now all are done and dead.

Frail to the point I'd break,
My body is this empty shell.
Fuelled by the fire deep below,
My stale heart beat a gift from hell.

And as my body burns down,
To the smallest of ashes.
I remember exactly how fast,
All this lingering time passes.

I open up my head,
Real it out piece by piece.
Fix this broken puzzle,
Leave my emotions in peace.

Remember a twig is connected to a trunk,
Build this body up stable and strong.
The fire that fuels my heart will,
Give passion and love forever long.

And as my body wears and tears down,
Slowly draining such a life better life from me.
I remember exactly how much,
I don't want to be six feet underground.

My mum is in panic,
The world is in panic.
I'm starting to think,
We won't survive this pandemic.
And the pale will continue,
To be met by the horse of death.
Until our world is inglufed,
And there is no one alive left.
We'll keep hoping for a saviour,
Continuing to wait for the darkness to pass.
Death riding on a pale horse will come down,
As panic will infect us as fast as this virus.

The closest I can get,
To a hug.
Is your jumper I wear,
Every night.

Wishing I can breathe,
In a word full of breathable air.
Still however choking,
On the air inside my lungs.

Sitting in the shower.
Alone,
Quiet,
Warm,
Free.
More comfortable I've been,
To cry and be me.
Tears lost to the water,
For some warmth in my life.

Talking about anxiety,
Has to be the worst for me.
For some reason it kicks in,
Maybe because I don't want to talk about.

I realise I have anxiety,
In everything I have done and I do.
For some reason it gets worse,
Every now and then.

I can't control my anxiety,
Stressing makes it so much worse.
Some times I wish I didn't have it,
Maybe life would be better.

I have bad anxiety,
My parents deny it.
Sometimes I wish they'd help,
But they just make it worse.

Maybe I'd be worth something,
If I was just an *** and not a face
On phone screen.
Maybe that's the one way to be ever seen,
To put your body and avoid the brains
On someones screen.

Stand up princess,
Up proud and tall.
**** it up princess,
Or your crown may fall.
Cover your tears,
With a smile and make-up.
Mascara smears,
Down eyes and somehow up.
Don't worry princess,
You haven't got much to go.

My brain's a mess,
It just lets the tears flow.

Update...
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In this feature,
Stressing,
Freedom,
Working,
Death.
Are taken,
Up a level.
Wish to install,
Adulthood?

No...

10 hours and still no text,
But I'll wait for you.
7 days and I still can't see you,
But I'll wait for you.
I'm ready for forever,
But still I'll wait for you.

I will wait for you,
In rain or shine.
I will wait for you,
To say that you're mine.

Scared of the happy,
Scared to be happy.
Scared are those lacking,
Scared are those unhappy.

Sacred are the happy,
Sacred is their happiness.
Even if they are scared,
I will find safety in my happiness.

If I'm lucky,
I die before I'm 20.

I just need a couple things of the checklist:
1. Start drinking,
Check
2. Lose my virginity
Check
3. Drugs
Check
4. Europe - Particularly France
And I forgot the rest living in this trance.

See apart from this...
I want to change the world,
But I don't have to make a difference if I die.
And if I say I want to live,
Then am I not just living a lie?

If I live past 20,
I want to have kids.
A back up plan,
Or so I say.
That if I don't **** myself by then,
I have one last reason to live.

Words roll off,
My sweetened lips.
Like water off,
My finger tips.

Tears roll off,
My pale cheeks.
Like memories off,
My troubled mind.

And if you look,
Hard enough.
Poets never get famous,
Unless they die...
Or,
Commit suicide.

Sometimes,
I kiss your picture through my phone.
I'll pretend,
My pillow is you and hug it tight.
I'll hope,
Your smile is showing so I light mine up too.
I'll wait,
For your text and my heart will jump start.
Sometimes,
No, all the time...
I love you,
Cause you're mine.

What if I never get over,
Your touch?
Or your smile,
And your laugh?

What if I never get over,
My happiness?
Feeling whole,
And complete with you?

What if I never get over,
You?

You?
No, I will never get over you.

I love you till my hearts content,
I will love you till we reach our end.
And to death do us part,
Be extended till forever we will stay!

Hopefully death graces my lips,
That were once full of life.
And taking me with one,
Final fatal breathless kiss.
***** my soul and my will,
Out of my quaking body.

Words unwritten,
Are words unsaid.
As they leap off the page,
Towards you.
When words are there written,
They are what you make of it.
Emotions and stories,
Morals that help ease the soul.
So make what you will,
Make off with my writing I have not said.

To find sanity in the insane,
And clarity in the opaque.
The human mind,
Is a wonderful place...

To find rarity in the worthless,
But endorphins amongst the common.
Is something our bodies,
Could never take to believe.

Kindness in the poorest places,
And love in this loveless world.
Shows our beating heart,
How bewildered we really are.

And the story,
Went like this.
Her life wasn't misery,
Only as much as she took.
But,
She couldn't take it much.
So her heart took over her eyes,
To find the love she had lost.

My genie the bottle or magic lamp,
Shall I request your service?
I have a wish or maybe two,
Could you do for me atleast that?

For my first I wish the world,
Was a paradise for all.
No war, no poverty, no killing, no death,
Nothing to cause pain at all.

My second is much closer to my heart,
To be with the one I love and never part.
Love him freely and openly,
Not anyone else.

Do as you please with my third wish,
Give it to someone else who needs it more.
Genie in my hand may I rub this lamp,
And set you free for my wishes?