when a poet falls in love with you
you can never die
they will notice the way
you rub your palms and look down
when someone is angry at you
and the way you smirk
as you pull away from a kiss

they will notice how you can't sleep
without your body touching someone else's
how you never crease any pages of books
and how you close your eyes when you dance in your kitchen
with your record player on

they will find all of the words
that they see you as
and turn them into something beautiful

people say you die twice
once when you stop breathing
and when someone says your name
for the last time

if you fall in love with a poet
they will never stop
mentioning your name
you will be alive
for eternity

you said we'd go somewhere safe
but i still feared
feared a seat-belt wouldn't be enough
to keep me from crashing through the glass
you were willing to take the chance
and i hoped
but hope isn't enough
because i got scared
and let go of the wheel
slammed the breaks before we crashed
i'm sorry
but i could barely think
think beyond fogged windows and small backseats
and i hated it
i hated being confined to a two-door egg
i hated being nothing more than nighttime rides
i'm sorry
but the droplets on your windows could only blind me for so long

i don't need you

you
are
dispensable
&
replaceable

you
are simply filler
filling my time
filling my mind
you
are just my now
my now i have time
my now i don't care for tomorrow
you
are nothing more
nothing more than busy work
nothing more than idle love

i don't need you to be happy
i need someone to waste my time
i need someone to busy my mind

i'll create constellations in your eyes
shatter your soft brown
fill the cracks with fragments of me
taint your vision with moments of me

i can't bring myself to love you
without breaking you first
cloudy vision so as to adore me best

i'll paint you pretty
lay you down as my canvas
taint your skin with bits of love
hues of pinks and purples

i can't bring myself to love you
i haven't any love to give
i hope you won't notice
i'm simply re-gifting borrowed love

i'm in the kinda mood
where sitting in the freezing rain doesn't seem half bad
letting the droplets pelt my skin
numb me
match my limbs to the freeze in my chest
my chest was frozen before the rain began
my chest is not heavy
it's empty
hollow enough for the wind to knock me down
and my head is heavy enough for me to stay down
i'm in the kinda mood
where i wish i could disappear as quickly as the rain