They never spoke, but every time she walked into the train
He reflexively slid to the left and made room for her.
And they would travel together sitting one hand width apart.
He drummed his perfectly crooked fingers on his left thigh,
like a horse that galloped towards an unknown destination.
She clasped and unclasped her hands, and
chewed on the dry skin of her bottom lip.

She always switched off her phone before getting on the train.
She assumed he did too because no one ever disturbed their unsaid conversations.
The old man singing I Wanna Hold Your Hand provided the sound track to their journey.
Yet the most endearing sound was that of him sliding his right foot from side to side.
The soft scraping sound soothed her more than any song ever had.

The train ride lasted twenty-five minutes every night,
during which, in her mind they got married,
went to Vienna for their honeymoon,
and had three children: twin boys and a girl,
who grew up to be the perfect balance between the two of them.

His stop came before hers and
She wondered if one day he would miss his stop and
Ride with her to hers.
He knew her beginning and she knew his end.
She may never know any more
But that didn’t matter because for twenty five minutes a day,
all she needed was the soft scraping sound from his right foot sliding from side to side.

May gave us tall grass.
Clumsy hands pressed my clean hair
into the cool mud.

I still dream about you.
They are not the vivid recreations of my memories that they used to be.
But you are in them ever still.

You appear as a fog; a vague ghost of yourself.
You float through my dreams beside me as an unwanted guide,
and you fade away just before an awakened state creeps back over my concious mind.
There was a time my dreams were filled with visions of you holding me close to your heart.
A time when I dreamt of wedding bells,
and the song of small feet roaming throughout an old country home.
Now my dreams are filled with horror, and chaos.
They are an untamed wilderness that I must survive nightly, and you are always there.

I haven’t decided which is worse: having you drift along through my dreams,
bruising my soul ever deeper with every glimpse of your face.
Or, gazing upon the end of humanity every time I close my eyes at night.
I spent so many years of my life longing for your presence that now you are imprinted opon my mind,
and as much a part of me as I am a part of myself.
Such a bittersweet existence in which I now reside.

Unrequited love is not the romantic expression Hollywood has made it to seem.
It is a disease that creeps in, and destroys it’s host entirely.
It is cancer of the heart which causes the bearer to react irrationally.
I cannot escape this unreturned affection, nor do I suspect myself to wish to.

I still dream about you.
They are not the vivid recreations of my memories that they used to be.
But you are in them ever still.

I don’t know if you’ve ever loved someone like that
Felt that much electricity in your veins
I don’t know if you’ve ever been so taken with someone
Seen so much in someone else’s eyes
I don’t know if you’ve ever invested so much in a person’s place in your life
Been so carried away in the dream
I don’t know if you’ve ever been so happily/crazily/contentedly in love
Had your heart broken so completely
I don’t know if you’ve ever cried that much
So you might not understand
But some day, chances are, you will and you’ll see
What he did to me
You would see why I tread so lightly
Love is such a dangerous trap to fall into
I don’t know how much of this you’ve felt before
But for your sake I hope you never understand what it feels like
To wake up from the dream, to fall out of love, to regret the happy times that were
To find yourself alone
Of course when you’re so high, it’s a long way down
And it’s only fair to feel myself crashing back into reality
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt such a change in the way you felt about someone
Ever hated just how much you care about someone
I don’t know if you’ve ever felt so disconnected
Ever lost so much
I don’t know if you’ve ever looked back on things
Questioning every step of the way
I don’t know if you’ve ever been as disinterested in hearing
About all the other fish in the sea

He used to deliver
Groceries to Mrs
Ushmore as a kid and

She’d say, bring it into
The kitchen, Henry, and
Put it down on the side,

Why, you must be thirsty
After carrying that
Heavy load to my door,

And he’d go in with the
Groceries and lay them
Down where she had shown him

And looked around the place
Trying hard to avoid
Looking at young Mrs

Ushmore who was dressed in
The skimpiest of things
And pretended to be

Looking around at the
Shelves and gas cooker and
Out the large window.

What are you having, she
Asked, Coke? Yeah, that’ll be
Fine, he replied, looking

Over her shoulder at
The wallpaper of bright
Yellow flowers. Have you

Seen my *****? She asked.
Miss Glissy, I call her.
Henry shook his head and

Looked briefly at her. No,
He replied, getting a
Quick glimpse of her *******,

Fighting to escape from
The black bra. Here, she said,
Have a Coke and don’t go

Rushing it now, don’t want
You to get the hiccups
And have your mother come

Over here telling me
Off. No, I won’t, he said,
Sipping the Coke, tasting

Each mouthful, letting it
Rest on his tongue. I love
My *****, she said, but

My husband, Clive, he has
Little to do with her,
Says she’s nothing to be

Too fussed about. Henry
Swallowed the small mouthful.
His eyes settled like small

Butterflies on her thighs,
Focussing where her black
Suspenders met the brown

Stockings and the skin stretched
Out there like nothing he’d
Seen before, not even

Amy Shortdove, showed him
That much for her two dimes.
Would you like to stroke Miss

Glissy? She asked, giving
Henry a wide-eyed stare.
No, I better be off,

Henry said gulping down
The last remaining Coke.
Mr Ashton don’t like

Me hanging around and
I’ve loads more to do and
Maybe another time,

Mrs Ushmore, I can
Stroke your *****. Sure, she
Said smiling, I’m sure she’d

Like that. Henry rode his
Bike away not looking
Back, not letting her see

He was interested,
Not letting her think he’d
Ever stroke Miss Glissy

In a thousand years let
Alone days or weeks,
And he never did see

Or stroke Mrs Ushmore’s
*****, but he often
Dreamed he did and enjoyed

The dream, with him and Miss
Glissy purring and both
Of them licking the cream.

I manipulated hearts today-
Without guilt I was in control
and it felt good.

With my own hands
I cut them,
With my own hands
I felt them,
With my own imagination
I twisted them until they fit just right.
Just like placing stars in
the magic of the night.

I cut out paper hearts today,
Twenty four of them.
It all seemed perfect,
One heart for every hour-
In a day,
That we're apart.

I moved them,
The hearts,
And shaped them-
And spread them apart,
Like time zones between here,
And Australia.

If only there wasn't a time zone bewteen us,
If only there wasn't your destiny and mine-
If somehow these hearts could beat together;
The rhythm to a love song-
But they cannot...

They're paper thin
hoping to win,
The hands of someone
to hold them.

I, with every ounce of who I am, need you...
               I need you to complete my sentence, my day and me -
     You are always following my thoughts,
                    Knocking on my every conceived notion to be let in -
                                                               ­                                                                 ­     Please, come in...
                 
I, fiercely want every morsel of you -
                       I want you beneath me, on top of me, in front of me,
But...        more than anything...                
                                         I want you beside me...
               Walking with me through this haze of a life together -
                                                          Figur­ing the world out as one,
                         Living a great adventure and setting the world ablaze...
                                                       ­                  All it will take is one word -
                                                               ­         

                                                               ­            Yes.

Come over here and play with me.
I need to feel some ecstasy.
come over here and play with me.
I want you to make me scream.

Come over here and use me.
I need to feel adequacy.
Come over here and use me.
I want you to be extreme.

I want you to **** me up, **** me up.
I want you to shut me up, shut me up.
I want you to give me up, give me up.
I want you to **** me up, **** me up.

Come over here and abuse me.
I need to feel like you're supreme.
Come over here and abuse m.e
I want you to make me plead.

I want you to **** me up, **** me up.
I want you to shut me up, shut me up.
I want you to give me up, give me up.
I want you to **** me up, **** me up.