I used to think I was over you. Time had passed, you weren't on my mind all the time like before. I thought I had moved on, and I was proud of myself. But then I saw pictures of you with other girls and found out you had a girlfriend and the hurt started all over again. I felt that familiar pain in the pit of my stomach. The jealousy, anger and sadness all mixed together in a terrible stomach ache. It really ****** me up because I genuinely though I was over you. I mean time heals everything right? That's what I thought, but then I heard this talk on YouTube by an incredible girl that goes to schools to preach about Jesus. She said that "Time doesn't heal, Jesus does." And it hit me like a wave, I hadn't spent a second of my time praying to God about my problems, I didn't pray for a forgiving heart, or try to love my neighbor like I should have. So I decided that day to let Jesus heal me. I cast all my worries and pain to the side and asked Him to help me through the heartbreak. Let me tell you, Jesus is better then ice cream, alcohol, exercising, rebound guys, or any other way I usually try to attempt to recover from a heartbreak. Jesus heals. He takes your heart and He fills it. He fixes your brokenness, and pick you up when you're a mess of tears on the floor and tells you it will be ok. It was a long road to heal completely, but so worth the journey.  I learned that Jesus is the best medicine, the only cure, and the best remedy. No matter how broken, lost and discouraged you are, He will heal you.

All I can tell you Is love HURTS.

Happy ex-friend anniversary? That's terrible, and it shouldn't be a thing, but it is with us.  I'm sorry for being a ****** best friend. I'm sorry for not thinking about you and leading with my heart instead of my brain.  I tried to fix evything, but at some point it was too late. I miss you. I miss our conversations. I swear if you put us together we could talk for hours. I miss your laugh and your little slogans like "that's terrible," "he's got a sweet soul" "little punk." I miss watching the sunrise with you on my roof, and freezing our butts off on the dock behind your house when we'd go out to stargaze. We've gone one full turn around the sun without being friends. Time has passed, wounds have healed over, new friendships have been formed and things have changed. There's only one thing I hope for you now, and it's that you've found a way to forgive your resentment towards me. And that's not for me, I know we can't be friends again, but I want that for you. I know exactly what it's like to hate someone. Even the thought of them can put you in a bad mood, and seeing them can ruin your week. It's a terrible way to feel.  Hating someone gives them so much power over you, a power they don't deserve.  Not forgiving someone hurts you the most, so I hope that you've forgiven me. I know for a fact that there's no room in your heart for hate.   One of my favorite quotes from Tumblr is "Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace."  I hope you have found peace.

Where are you most comfortable?



My comfort zone is at my house, in my bed. It's a place that I've known for the past 10 years. It's where I've had countless sleepovers, and movie nights and late night chats with my friends.  In 3 months I'm leaving my comfort zone, and I'm moving to a new place. I'm excited and nervous.  Excited because something new is fun.  Nervous because my whole life is a comfort zone.  I've lived in the same place practically my whole life. I've had a crush on the same one guy my whole life. My main friends are people I've known since I was 4.  My whole life has been basically the same for a long as I can remember, and I love it like that.  I love my zone, and I don't know if I'll be ready to leave it all behind in T- 3 months.

I want you to be happy, but is it wrong for me to wish that you were only 90% happy and not 100%? Maybe it's selfish, but I still want a part of you to be a little sad that I'm not yours. You missed out on me and all the great things we could have been. I really hope you're happy, just not comeplty.. sorry if that's selfish.

You can't have another piece of me.
You've taken too many already.

You are sherbet ice cream on a hot day.