can’t remember what this one was about

Always know there’s room to grow
And God will walk with you, through every storm.
Through seas of turbulence and deserts dry.
He’s your constant, when everything’s changing.
He’s the rock that can never be shaken.

I walked passed the love of my life today. It was hard but I did it. I finally found the courage to walk past him like he didn't exist. A part of me wanted to scream and shout to him how much I love him, the other part wanted to bash his ******* face into the ground. You see the love of my life was a real ****. He never treated me right, never took me out on dates, never gave me flowers for Valentine's Day, nothing. He treated me like a ******* to be quite honest with you. Why do I love him you may ask? Because of our bond. We never lacked communication, our *** was like fireworks, and his company kept my blood warm. Our love, or at least my love for him would be classified as puppy love in this generation. But I never gave our love a name, our love was exactly that... Ours. I wasn't quite sure what it was about him that kept me interested, maybe it was his personality or perhaps his smile or those big brown eyes that would just look you directly in your soul. God! I don't know what it was but I loved him, every inch of him I loved.

It's nice to be free isn't it?
To wake up in the morning and not regret the words unsaid.
To run and feel the wind in your face.
To speak with out having to think you will hurt anyone.
To be yourself while everyone is trying to find themselves.
Isn't it nice to be free?

What I want is a traveller.
No, not even a traveller who goes the further distance, for the longest time.
Just one who will be willing to cover miles and spend endless seconds with me.
What I want is a thinker.
No not even the deepest or the wildest of spectrum.
Just one who’ll broaden mine.
What I want is a fighter.
No not even the strongest, toughest or best at battle.
Just one day who won’t allow me to forget the purpose of fighting.
What I want is a believer.
But no, not one of little.
But one who’ll crack perspectives, defy gravity, induce love, dance in storms and build dams in deserts.

i am split between barely-different
desires, or rather,
equally-addictive inclinations:

you see, half of me wants nothing
but to strip away the sticky sweet
self-hatred, just say **** it
and be happy/
relive the day-after-day
same sensations, but this time
enjoy them freely, without the hesitation
usually harbored within,
fed again and again;

the other half of me wants to live
sort of slovenly: one day, purchasing
scarves and layered plaid garments,
hiding behind charcoal eye liner
and perhaps a full sleeve
of amateur ink (tree leaves changing
into full-piece stories);

half of me hates me, and the other
wants so badly to grasp hold
before I tumble full force
into the cracks out of reach from the future
created for me, by me, waiting
patiently.