I don’t remember
Falling out of love
But I remember hanging on
With my own sweaty hands
That were slowly losing grip
Begging you to just help me hold on
A little bit longer
And I remember the weight of your silence
Heavy, like a sorrow wrapped blanket
But most importantly,
I remember after
And the way the sun felt
Warming the chill
That your absence left
And the way that my tears
Fell like rain
Watering the forgotten garden
Of my soul

Anorexia is not collar bones.
It is the smell rotting of flesh as you dismantle your body bit by bit.
Anorexia is not a thigh gap, it is your knees so weak they shake as you fall to the ground.

Anorexia is not self control. It is the feeling of utter hopelessness as your life tornados into a blizzard of nothingness.

Anorexia is not fashionable. It is your mother’s sobbing eyes as she sees her child dying
Anorexia is not 80 pounds. It is the weight of a thousand pulsing suns on your shoulders.
A thick black cloud in your mind, and rules spelled out like chains pulling you towards the ground.
No matter what measure of gravity that you have in this earth, it still hurts, it’s still real.
So to you 'pro anas' who so blindly say 'hunger hurts, but starving works' think before you act.
Suffering is an addiction, please do not harm yourself with this affliction.
- *Emily Ward

The weight of my sadness
Is heavy like clouds before rain
I’m only self medicating
To try to numb the pain
Antidote coursing through me
Like toxins in my veins

I’m good at shooting pain
So burn me alive like the sun
My fate is inked in a darkness
I’ll never be able to outrun