Tell me you’re only mine
Even if you’re lying
Look me in the eyes
Tell me you love me
And that im the only one for you
I don’t care if im delusional
As long as I feel happy again

If you really
Meant what you said about
Caring for me,
I wouldn't always have to be
On the lookout
For signs that you
Truly do;
If you really
Trusted me
Then there wouldn't be
That wall between us; or
Perhaps I mean more
To you than most but I
Never really
See
It, you know?
Actions speak so
Much louder than words,
Have you heard?

My words may not be beautiful.
My words may not be sweet.

At times I cry because the words I write and type are not the same words I speak in reality.

When anger, guilt or sadness comes over me, I do not want to be well- spoken.

I want to be well heard without having to repeat myself.

Character development.
Let's call it development.

Deep breaths

*

It is all character development.

Your pain
Your disappointments
Your losses
Your mistakes
Then the rain stops
Storms end
Rainbows appear
Hopefully the dark clouds  become the Bluest  of skies

Shuttering

The curtains are closing
in my mind
Shuttering.

The performance
has ended and so spectacularly
It was quite a show
Explosions and
fireworks and such
Such
A mess
Am I
I am, I am.

Death, whose guise is end to sorrow,
sells salvation 'til tomorrow.

So you want me to quit?
Say I'm too old.
Throw in the towel.
Let my cards fold.
I've been told that before by another -
she went by the name -darling mother
So you want me to give up just like that?
a wrinkled old woman, ugly and fat.
I've been told that before by another-
he lived with me, was just like a brother.
So you want me stop doing what I love
want me to shut up
put out my light
or all the above
I've been told that before by another -
oh ya, let me think....it was my grandmother
So you want to pretend I don't exist-
wipe me off the face of the earth
make me regret my birth
I've been told that before by a friend.
Will you finally be happy when I reach
my end?

"No, not like that. That's not how
You're supposed to behave around
Other people. What will they
Think of you now?
What will they say?
Stop moving, they're going to
Stare at you.
You're being too
Loud.
Chin down. You look proud.
Why can't you smile more?
They didn't approach you before
You did them because you feel
Like an ah lian. No one
Wants to deal
With you. You're no fun
To be with. Stop talking.
No more dancing while walking.
Don't waste their time. No.
You can tell they want you to go
Away.
Why are you so
Emo
Today?
What's wrong with you?
What're you trying to do?
Why are you intruding? They
Don't need you to stay.
Stop disturbing people. Go make
More friends, you loner. Can take
Less food or not? You need
A 23-
Inch waist, I say already.
Ayah, not smart enough.
Why so weak? It's not that tough.
Wash your face
And wake up. This place
Is too
Good for you."
See?
It's easy
To be
My own Asian aunty.