i stare at my frozen screen
the progress bar of my content download
takes a leisurely rest at somewhere around 27%

i am frustrated.
i am impatient.
yet i stare at a frozen screen.

plastic leather chair, waiting for the drugs to kick in.
they did.
that was the day i learned self pity is really just guilt expressing itself.

I used to be able to forgot who I was
The easiest way was to stare at my hand
I was young
Nine or ten was the last time
After a while I would look away from my hand
and I would not know where I was or who I was
I would be fearful and magnetized
And question where I was,
Who I was.
I remember asking
"Is this real?"
"Whose eyes are these?"
Yes...eyes,
It was through rapid blinking that would bring me back
to life as I know it
I never knew what I was experiencing;
A seizure
A mystical experience
A temporary return
Whatever it was
I cannot go back
No matter how hard I try.

rain is just the product of a fallen angel's pain.

All armies are the same
Publicity is fame
Artillery makes the same old noise
Valor is an attribute of boys
Old soldiers all have tired eyes
All soldiers hear the same old lies
Dead bodies always have drawn flies