I want to fast forward 3 years where we’ll both be in university.
Waking up next to each other and falling asleep in each other’s arms.
Being able to come home and say
“Hey baby, how was your day?”
And we’d talk about our days over diner.
I’ll kiss you and smile because I know that I am lucky to have you

One of my favorite times of day
The world lays silent and still
I need not hear or wonder
about the thoughts besieging
myself or another.
I can laze sleepily in the silence
Enjoying the remnants of dreams
still somewhat within reach of my minds eye.
The onslaught of doubt and worry
still quiet giving me a moment maybe two before reality sets in and the noise inside won’t overwhelm me with questions I can’t or won’t answer.

No, I'm not calling you crazy
I'm just calling out

Sometimes you amaze me
When you bring me down.

The world comes to a standstill
When you come around.

But I'm just screaming in silence
Can you hear me now?

If you stick to your guns
While they are against my head.

This time around
Aim for my chest instead.

So take me down,
I see your bluff.

I'm calling out,
Because I've had enough.

We aren't falling in love here,
We are just falling out.

I'd love to say I love you,
But I have to doubt it.

I can see past their hollow reassurances.
I know that they have sympathy but nothing beyond that.

Just a quick glance my way with those pitty full eyes that speak,
"You poor soul. I wish I could help you. I wish you the best in your journeys."
But they will never actually help me.
...

Standing in the middle of the street.
A bus screeches to a halt.
It stops inches away from me.
The driver looks at me with those same eyes,
But he does not go out to help me.
No one does, he just drives around me.
Some people stare at me with pity, others judgement,
But none will help me.
That's the tragedy of living,

You have to learn to pick yourself up because no one else will.

You say do better
But in doing my best
You say try harder
Dont you see im in distress
Im drowning in my thoughts
I cant catch my breath
Your making it seem like my lifes a quiz
And im not passing the test