I've been keeping
A list of things about him
Anything I feel important
Gets noted
His favorite color is green
He has a golden doodle
her name is Sadie
He has auto-immune encephalitis
He swears like it's going out of style
But makes it so suave
Etc. Etc. Etc.

He was feeling sad
Broken
Unappreciated
So I told him to hang on a minute
I needed to get my bag from the car
I threw in my shoes, forgetting socks,
I didn't even grab my jacket
The rain tried to drown me
As I accomplished my mission
I took a few pictures of this list
And hit send

I thought I ****** up
45 minutes went by and
He hadn't said anything
My anxiety was kicking in so
I played first person shooters
With my baby brother
I love that kid
My phone vibrated
Sending pulses of panic
Throughout my existence
"Wow"
One word, no explanation

"Truly amazing"
"No one knows me that well"
The short texts of amazement kept streaming in
Vibration after vibration
He was so happy
That didn't stop him from
Mentioning that he hates
This whole being single thing
But it's for the best when
You've been cheated on by five girls
Again I helped

"Sorry for being clingy the past few days"
I shot an hour or so later
He always tells me it's okay
But I don't think it is
Without missing a beat
He replied
"I love it"
I cried

I cried because
like I told him
He "just made my heart smile
So much that tears fell
No one's ever said anything
Like that me and it washed some
Of my anxieties away"
I proceeded to thank him
He's my best friend so
There's always that love
That exists between friends
So I thanked him for it

He was confused
"Thank you for loving me Evan"
"Samm, I don't have to try to
I love you so much it comes naturally"
This man
So wonderful and imperfect
Yet so flawless
Made me cry again

My heart hasn't ever smiled before
I thought in the past that it has
But that was just butterflies
My heart smiled tonight
**And I've never been so
Sure