Everything is ending,
So here I sit, waiting it out alone
Though the time on the clock
Is moving ever so slow

Why do I feel this way?
It's like my life's a play,
Smiling faces masquerading,
Verbatim to the script.
Why is my heart so sad?
You weren't mine to have.
You had me going,
I should've know but,
Your lies deceived me now,
I hope you can see what you've done to me,
As you watch me standing barely breathing.
I've made it through worse weather,
Without you I can get better,
But with you I my loose directions,
Spinning round my hearts reflecting,
I'm lost.
Do you remember me,
All what we use to be,
But now that's over,
You've grown colder,
Where did you go?
Remember when you loved me?
Now I think how could you leave,
You were my everything,
Now I,
I am lost.

Within each other
  they found home.

~~~~Winter~~~~
The blue moon shimmers,
Light grazing my frosted soul,
Each snowflake smiles,
When the sun returns the day,
If only she could be mine

                         **~~~~Summer~~~~
                        My heart burns brightly
                        The pain so very intense
                        For I am the flame
                        But my love belongs in frost
                        If only I could have him

~~~~Winter~~~~
The days grew longer,
As she quietly approached,
Her strides warmed the grounds,
But as soon as she reached me,
I was no longer myself

                      ~~~~Summer~~~~
                        His hair wasn't shards
                        His face was no longer ice
                        But he was now mine
                        Ever so slow I touched him
                        But my smile like him melted

The rain drops fly.
The clock ticks by.
But she is still awake.

I crave you.
      Every single p
                              i
                           e
                         c
                          e    
                             Calling me towards you
                                   Wispering in my every thought
   "Stay with me!"
Oh how I wish I could              

Alas my sweet bed for I must face the day, but believe me when I say I'll be back when night falls
                                  *My love

If I could say what I think.
Maybe I wouldn't feel empty.
Because just maybe you would stay.
But now I feel my hour glass,
is running on nothing,
From the past laughter,
To the present silence,
Though thousands of faces that pass by,
I'm still here.
My shallow breaths, and small frame,
Still supporting life,
Just as much as the massive oak,
That bids me a good morrow as i pass,
Or the wind who calls me home,
You don't notice at all?
Can't you see!
I'm still here.
You're satisfied with what you see,
But you know don't you,
You know there's much more then that,
No matter how much you want to rid me,
No matter what you make your self believe,
I'm still here.

Do you give, or take?
Should I bend, or should I break?
When am I too much?

Do you grieve out loud?
Should I be modest, or proud?
Does it get easy?

it should be simple...
I just cant spit out the words.
three words I cant say.
<3

It boils and brews, but nothing can I do.
It fill me up to the top, and spills over.
I pace and wait trying to ease my restless state.
Your word won't help please don't try.
They just fuel the blaze, the tears.
Why try to explain when you won't hear.
A yonder I ponder will it ever get better.
If I cool the the hum of the song we sung.
And wish to the starry skies above.
I wish to be rid of the anger the pain the tears.
Go to a tier of simple simplicity.
A world just right for me.

Aburn hair floating
A gentle snowflake
The feeling I desired
Winters embrace

I wish to       down the rabbit hole into fantasy.
               **fall

Again the tides swells fiercely
In a wave of hindersome despair
Relentless it berates my shores
Leaving me cold and numb
Desperately gasping for air
For the hundredth time

Am I
Lost again?                        
                                                                uncertain
In my own world
    Splashing in puddles.                    
                                                  happily

While dancing in these tempestuous fields of my life I am now aware that
                                          I am not lost
                                                                **I am found

I'm not afraid
that others won't forgive me
but I am afraid that
I won't forgive myself

Sometimes I find,
That it is harder to decide,
Than it is to do.

"You cant do it"
          they said.
                   "You'll never be good enough"
                                         they spat.
                               Back then
while part of me stung where the words had slapped
                   a small part of me still whispered in a small fading voice,
                                                                                                           *"watch me."

If
   The
             Pulling
      Waves
Are
      My
            Demise.
      Let
Me
    Drown.

the warmth was so near; I could nearly see it.
oranges, reds, blues.  The thought burned in my memory.
the intense heat of the flickering flame, so wonderful.
I had traveled so far in the cold, and finally savior!
but in an instant as swift as the hope flooded through me,
it drained out, leaving me colder than before.

And suddenly I saw it,
Your beautiful face,
Had had thinned away,
And suddenly I realized,
Your beautiful presence,
Would also thin to nothing,
              And too suddenly,
                   You were gone.

When everyone leaves your reminded
            
            though...
              
                                *it dwells within always

When you've lived for others.
    You forget~
to live for yourself.

and you truly have no clue.
not even a sense, or capacity
of what you've done.

that's fine though, I'm okay now.
but, you won't be, not after you realize
That you're alone.

~and there's no one left to blame other than yourself~

maybe if I close both eyes and pray it'll go away, because if I refuse to see it how can it stay?

Wake up
Survive
Sleep**

         Don't you get tired
           Of the same routine?

Somehow I forget how to breathe
        The more violent the intake
   The more my famished lungs need
       *I'm a human drowning in air

I'm corrupted and ill
The plague reaching at will
Through my heart to each finger tip
And no matter the effort
I'll never be free of it

Smash your windows
Break down your doors
Leave but a whisper of before

That place is a poison
But you took its toxin
Now let it run its course

Oh but darling
If you saw the pain my eyes hold
You wouldn't think
They were so beautiful anymore

With true meaning
                              
                     simple words can
         become something
                  
                                                       truly *beautiful