If you ever had something strange
happen in a way where two friends
send signals disconnected
and it's the end
of an idea that once lived
in a mind
but not the other mind
an argument is had
whether a brawl or a jab
to someone
it feels like a stab
a wound
will it heal?
in real
is all that what is
really what appears?
the two of you will get together
and the issue will be brought up
a question asked
a reminder
a request for appeal
the best way to handle it
is to smile and say
"Let's not talk about it"
change the conversation
or walk away

If it would have happened
with anybody else
my feelings would be dusty
the top side of the shelf
but emotions run through
from the day I met you
and I tried to escape
but the song
no matter how hard I tried to stop it
it played
feelings grew stronger
and I kept getting played
in my head
everything going so fast
like I'm at a rave
if I could go back
I would never trade
I would make it okay
I would be more patient
I'd always let you leave
I'd be more sweet
yet firm in what I believe
I want it to go
but I want it to stay
I want you to stay
I want you to lay here with me
where are you going
why am I leaving
who is this coward inside
and why is he screaming
love is the worst
I'm crying and pleading
please stop the bleading
why are you leaving
why can't we talk and reminisce
why aren't you listening
am I too controlling
my heart done got stolen
but you gave it back
with nowhere to stash
it's in my hand and it's beating
how dare you deceive me
I hope you see me on TV
and I'll scream your name
I'll be so angry out in the street
I'll scream and I'll scream
about what you did to me
but you're too busy reading
and it's quiet this evening
he's on his way over
and in the morning he's not leaving
I'm screaming
I'm screaming
like a psychopath in a boiling hot bath
that's steaming
I better start breathing
and you better keep living
no matter how bad it was
or how much I wished
I still am forgiving
all this anger is fleeting

Before we do
there is one rule
between me and you
you aren't right for me
I'm not right for you
if feelings we shall choose
we're going to sing the blues
it might leave a bruise

If you aren't here
we don't need you
but if you do so happen to stay
we could use a hand
but if you decide to go
someone else will replace you
as a matter of fact he's here
over there
look at him
he's waving
so are you staying
or going
make a decision quick
your **** is showing
we need you
but not that bad
we could go with Jose
or Steve
or Lashawn
or the guy over there
in the corner
with no pants on
standing there by himself
who is he
I don't know
but if you leave
them we could need
should we use you
or do you need to excuse yourself
from this
because we're going to move
in another direction
where are you going
the same direction
maybe we should turn around
stop following us

**** seals on TV
****** seals
on TV
Keep ****** **** up
"a familiar place
a wrong movement
the wrong place
at the wrong time"
for the swimmer
this could be the end
not for the ****** seals
but the man
taking a swim
what's he doin
doesn't he see
the ****** seals
taking a swim
****** seals man
they'll get ya.
ha.
****** seals lol lol

i want to quit smoking
but i still need a new excuse
to be able to walk away
from a conversation
go outside
stare
into the world
and be like
i found my escape

one day
i won't be able to smoke cigarettes
and they'll offer me some
and i'll say
hey i wish i couuld
but the doctor says no
otherwise i'll die
and that'll be the only way
that i can ever walk away
and not feel like
i still want to hit it
let that soft delicious white piece of candy
go into my mouth
and blow out
mmmmmmmm
cigarettes
so good
such a long name
all of those syllables
just to say something so simple
why not
death
the greatest gift of all
little mini sticks
of death
little mini sticks
of things that are amazing
little mini tubular gifts
like donut sticks

what did i do last night?
good lord
that felt like
a three round fist fight
with me in the middle
of two *******
trying to **** each other
face down on the pillow
i'm up
and trying to place it all
back
into some sort of
something that
makes some sort of sense
and i think i write poetry
because i don't have time
to write anything longer
cuz it all goes
to drinking
smoking
drug abusing
and cruising
around the city
feeling pretty
after a day
of not
sitting in a chair
letting my emotions rot
but anyways
i gotta run
flee
go get
what i want
and be
where i need to be

i was kind of low last night
my emotions went
somewhere i didn't expect them to be
now i'm listening
to music
clearly
trying to understand
what it is that makes me feel
like a flash in a pan
one minute
and the next
an overcooked steak
left out too late

An overactive imagination
makes way for infatuation
excessive stimulation
brain saturation
I'm satiated
but not satisfied
and that is life
that leads to killer lies
A killer lies
deep in my soul
but I'll never let it go
never let it wander
travel
into the real world I see
my perception knows no reflection
A pretty girl
I undress
with my eyes
to remove her guise
when she speaks
I look in her eyes
but not too long
to my surprise
in her heart
there are other guys
so it is my demise
that the reality
is not so real
and now I feel
collision
of two worlds exploding
my mind imploding
never ceasing
or stopping
to think
or take a drink
of a soothing glass of peace
when it comes to peace
I'd like a piece of mine
to share with the world
so they can see
the gift and the curse
that consumes me
and I speak truly
from a heart
once soft
now made unruly
I wait
to hear a noise
see a vision
make an incision
a repair
I come back
with more flair
and let my hair
grow
so I can show
a tiny bit
of what it is like
to be a man
with an expanding mind
with the windows down
no sense of time
or place to go
I'm free at last

I want to tell her
how much she hurt
her words
what they did
how they affected me
every day
every night
I have to live
with what she did
and I don't understand why
it makes me so angry
and hurt

but it's okay
i should thank her
because maybe
she had what was best for me
in mind

and it wasn't her

I don't know my own good
I'm lost at sea
I don't know what is good for me
Right in front of my own face
then gone again
without a trace
I can't seem to see
emotionally
I don't know what to do
even if what to do
is nothing
I'm not really sure
what is best for me
I cannot see
any future leaks
I can only stay in this present time
and wonder why
and how I climb
this mountain
The good will
I try to spill
I admire
my desire
yet I cannot find
a decent rhyme
to convey that I don't know
where to go
or where is my head
have you seen it
shouldn't I know by now
shouldn't there be a body
in a wedding gown
it's empty
yet still I travel
even though
I do not know
I'm not even sure
where to go
from here

Up late at night
when I write
feeling inside
opened up
and became a new person
super human
super charged
it is so powerful
a vein
you've entered my bloodstream
and I'm happy
at work
seeing your text
I smile
I feel like
I have gone wild
I'm an animal
A stallion at full strength
I can't be controlled by any reigns
no physical restraints
can take this feeling away
what I have in my body

but it's that same feeling
I have to this day
as the reason
I have a hard time
getting out of bed

I never wanted to live a life
as a jealous man
I did the best I can
to get where I am today

I still feel joy
and the excitement
but it's just not the same
I feel it all the way to my fingertips
it was electric
on fire
a feeling
that went away
but still remains
I thought I'd go insane
but i'm free
and I'll never forget
what made me feel this way

It was you.

Let the anger go
it can no longer go
where you need to be
so let it go
and flee
Let it fade
away
no longer can it take
control

let it go man
let it go

You don't even know
how great you can be
so why not wait and see
my name is anger
that is what they call me
let go of me
I can't take you anywhere
I can't make you anything
I'm ugly
I stink
I'm mean

the anger
resides
in a broken heart
as it heals
restart
by leting it get so much
better
meditate
do not gravitate
towards its ugly head
a wicked face
replace
with a smile

Oscar the dog
loves ****
ha ha
so it seems
he gets high
when I smoke ****
he's in the kitchen
he jumps and pleads
every time
I get the ****
he sings a song
he loves ****

Oscar the dog
gets excited
when I boil eggs
he's uninvited
but every time
I smoke ****
there is he
Oscar the dog
he loves trees

I once saw him beg
from his knees
for a little hit
a bit of ****
he said to me
Ben please
Let me hit it
please

To calm his nerves
I succeed
in getting him high
on my ****
that's my dog
he's high as can be
He loves ****
and so it be

As your memory fades
the visuals grey
I can still say
I miss you

Even when it hurts
I feel bitter
about the way
I felt betrayed
I can't help but think
positively
about how much
I still miss you

There's been plenty times
in my car at night
I look at the lines
on the freeway
no matter how fast they go
and seem to disappear
the white paint is clear
I miss you

I've been on the porch
the balcony
and into the stars
is you I see
a puff of smoke
in the air
I watch you disappear
I miss you

In the morning when
I roll over
again and again
I try to pretend
I don't miss you

but then it comes
like a quake
I hear your name
or a reminder
carried on a banner
behind a plane
I see you

and at that time
I bottle that feeling
and put it away
so I can carry on
have a peaceful day

but when I get alone at night
I stay up and write
and all this pain is leaking out
because I still have thoughts
that I think about

what if it were to come true
and my memories turn into the real life
you

what if this just passed
all the songs I wrote in the past
about what you left behind
but that's for another time

until then
I bleed the pen
and reminisce again
about what I have
up in this mind
to remind and remind
and remind
what I hate to even admit
it's what my fingers cannot grip
I want to save this moment
and make it beautiful
for another day
when I look back and see
how much it was true

I missed you

You've been upgraded from ***** to ****
not a ****
not a **
you don't even blow
but your ugly shows
when your emotions grow

you're not a trick
it's not a stunt
I'm gonna light this blunt
and think about your upgrade
from ***** to ****

oh what have I done
went too far
from the time
we made love in my car
under the rising sun
before you upgraded
from ***** to ****

I remember when
things were sweet
just you and me
and every word
was spoken tenderly

that time went by
and that's why I'm here
getting igh
wondering why
how it all happened
when we lost our footing
tires lost traction

I'll never know
can't tell you why
the tears fall
from my eyes
as I smoke this grass
and saw it happen so fast
and for me to have to be this blunt
and upgrade you
from ***** to ****

this is something
that i just write
to tell you about
what i feel at night

inside windows
tinted
grimace
on my face
stitches
can't replace
the wound
or heal
the feel
that is still so so so so so so
very real

i want to take my feelings and drown
them in a pool
of alcohol
smoke of ****
a big puff
ecstacy
******* up my nose
til it bleeds
acid mushrooms
hallucinate
to make me feel great

it goes away

but won't this pain
won't this pain
leave with it?

trying to
hurt myself
by making myself
feel better
is the letter
i wrote to the devil

this is how i feel
this is what i do

until another day
when i meet a true
someone who can
take
me
away
from
this
place

i'll still do drugs
can't feel my face
i want to escape
i want to get out of here

i want to live a new life
i don't want to feel real

please
please
tell me
what this all means
before i **** myself

ever meet
someone who died
in real life
but it was a dream

ever wake up
and try to see
the face you've seen
in your dream

ever lay awake and scream
ever lay face down and cry
about the love that died
in real life

ever see that person and speak
to them like
it never happened
and everything is free

ever watch that person walk away
into another grave
to become another slave

in real life
is when i see
pain
such a burden to me

ever wake up and start your day
with tears like rain
you don't want to claim

ever forget about what you've dreamt
but you know inside
who was there

ever wake up knowing
you've gotta move on
your dream is gone

ever wish it was all a dream
that it would fade away
and you could rise like steam

ever wish you could go back to sleep
just to see the person
that was in your dream

the world can tell you
one big lie
line after line
spend your dime
drink your wine

tell you the truth
then flip it upside down
the world goes round and round
never stays its ground

i can't tell you
how many times i've seen
nothing that once
was something
some things i've seen

the lies i've told
to myself in my
world upstairs
underneath my hairs

the world told me that you were true
it was all i knew
a seed in my heart you grew
but now it's blue

the world still wakes me up to think
about what i missed
how much it stinks

the world
that was you
i thought i knew
that you were true

but the world has different plans
a different lie
it all takes time

for the world to create
a perfect match
an inconvenient truth

the world is going to open my eyes
to a new surprise
a different lie

i can't wait
i'll always seek
the new you
til the day i die

a joke goes through you
feels so fluid
three months later
it's starting to feel like
paste
and it doesn't quite taste
what it used to taste
the flavor saves
as long as it takes
to forget about the memory
that fades
of how you felt
when you first wrote it

happiness is fleeting
obsolete
cold like the sleet
it gets
when it wets
and success
comes in a disguise
wearing a dress
dreaming
of happiness
realizing
what it means
to be
not to be brought
or bought
or taken
with a restless mind
it's an image of time
in which relaxation
happens
without the need
of a glass of wine
or a drop of this
hit of that
the happiness to be had
do you think
you deserve all of that
to feel good again
to do something
that makes you feel guilt
something you feel
to be a rude awakening
that keeps you waking
in your sleep
your dream
you thought you had
could come true
unruly
attributes
begin to penetrate
what you had in place
what you wanted
thought you needed
a happy place
you built in your mind
gets crushed
by reality
now you're blind
to what happiness is
but you continue to live
and redefine
shape it
make it
and see
what you can find
is it happiness?
sadness
and gladness
and manics
panics
attacks
angry outbursts
not being able
to relax
has its way
into your life
how do you make
happiness
the number one
most felt
feelings
that you normally
feel
how do you make that real
that happiness
how do you not conceal
your happiness
without letting
the people around you
clown you
down you
try to put you in a place
where they are
which isn't at
the same spot
you're trying to be
the happiness
as it fleets
and you grasp
at your bed sheets
satin
slips away
through your fingers
give it time and let linger
feel breathe
get happiness
and when you see someone who needs it
and you still have some that lasts
go from within
and give it right back

The loneliness and the hurt
playing in my mind
a heavy metal concert
winds blow
I'm confused
how to recover my thoughts
how to properly use
it's no news
been happening for months
and years I fear
peace, solace, happiness
hope they are near
they whisper in my ear
how do I find
peace of mind
sickness through my spine
beware of steady decline
wake up in the morning
compose a rhyme
mix some lime
hennessee
and feelings go away
to tennessee
or wherever far is
I want to be

preach the reverend
for a second
minute
hour
year
quick shower
aqua flower
hot water
streaming
cleaning
pleading
misleading
devour
jealousy is good
for no one
damages
rational thinking
got me stinking
realizing
bad timing
say goodbye
be alone
now I write
rhyme
after
rhyme
on my own time
free spirit
mountains I climb

I'm gonna make it
I told you now
I'm gonna make it
told you before
I'm gonna make it
They can try to stop me
patience
I'm gonna save it
success
I'm gonna crave it
Haircut
gonna fade it
My soul
won't have to trade it
gonna get it
how I want it
Gonna prove to everyone
who left me
doubted me
thought I was boring
left me in the rain
cut me deep
with no neosporin
They're gonna see it
what they left
gave away
I'll make pain my slave
I forgive
but never forget
who I am
and what they made me became
I have come so far
keep going
see the hope
A smile
I'm not gonna fake it
Take the hits
keep going
I'm gonna make it

i'm telling you
you're getting better because of that
and it's a skill you're working on
getting better at
not letting people get to you
you're on it
you're doing well
but you aren't having that much fun
okay
so i'm going to get it going
and let it have be the fun
that is inside of me

Reality and existence
feel much better
but I miss this
way a drug
makes me feel
undoes the real
makes the body heal
next day
drug fades
pain come back
from gone away
now it's a face
in the mirror
staring
saying
what did you do
who are you
what will you become
of this
substance
will be your
decay
who is your slave
on the master
do you pray
to give you what you need
to look life face to face
and understand what it takes
to move forward in the rain

the acid rain
drips away

here you are today

talking to me
saying disparaging things
with his glasses
and pointy nose
i don't want them to see
the inside feeling i hear
i don't want them to ever be near
i want them to know
who they are dealing with
love and respect
they try to try me
betrayal
i can't forget
about me
the words i hear in my head
they ring
over and over
different melodies sing
it tingles
and shifts
flows and bows
up and down it goes
but i stay stable
and **** em
like cain got able

we were at the hospital the other day
on acid
saw some people
that looked
subhuman
started thinking those thoughts
like
how i would **** them
and get rid of
all of them
the acid talking
i breathed
and stepped out of the hospital to breathe
no smoking sign
telling me i can't do that
right here
fresh air
is near
over here
by the flowers
i smoked
a girl with purple hair
around me
very near
"is that your peoples?"
no no no
laughing
i don't know why
he thought she was with me
we were just staring
fading
tripping
the flowers looked 3D
the bee inside
looked like some **** from planet earth
i heard it there first
my first trip
a visit
to see a friend
struggling to breathe
while we smoke out front
walked into icu with a blunt
celebrating life
thinking about memories
and how they make us
rely
on what we know
and remember
to tell us the future
but
it's really what we make it
we can create new
break down barriers
break down the walls
make new paths
in the brain
heal
recover
breathe stronger the next day

i want to be the crayon in the box
that makes you think
that one
looks unique
it is a color i would prefer
to go with me

I hate my life right now
feels like it's upside down
the inside of my stomach
feels like the remains of a town
that got hit by a tornado
all the remains on the ground
the thoughts the feelings the memories
all tied together
inside of me
pain subsided
yet still i bleed
slowly
thoroughly
in need of anti freeze
to keep my heart from freezing
i get a little itch to get a quick fix
get out of the house
meet a new *****
but every time i meet one
i think about the old one
with make up on
she did me so wrong
i want to forgive but i can't really do it
there's something inside me
that says don't do it
i imagine a time in which i get revenge
but the best damage i can do
is with my mighty pen
no words, thoughts, ****** expressions, feelings
can do her any harm
so i'll get back to healing
when they ask me the same question
about my emotions
how i'm doing
i give them the same answer
i'm dealing
it's hard but i'm living
my work, my heart, my passion
my potential is the ceiling
but it's still there
that feeling

cats looking into your eyes
what does they want
what iz they surprize

the cat attacks
it is my demize
the cat agrees
the cat complies

cats eating brown food
cats not happy
cats no happy mood

cats begin to smoke and drools
cats doing many things
cats really rude

cats
cats
cats

the cat the cat the cat

I see him
he is terror
coming from the skies
I see the cat
I see his eyes
I see the cat
it is my demize

cats

The distance that separates me and a love
is closer than I think
it's above and beyond my reach
inside side my window
it peeks
when it is raining down
hailing and sleet
and I can't see
remember me
I'm the love that sings
under the tree
slowly ascend to heaven
and preach
a quiet withdrawal after 72 weeks
it won't ever cease
and when it breathes
hope I'm ready to be
in love again
shhh
I can't hear a peep
but it's right down the street
moves in silence
the distance between you and me
at the same time
brings us together
where are you?
how far are you?
away from me
I hope you're doing okay
I love you
hope we're together soon
I'm over here
separate
in my room

here it comes again
those thoughts about
what happened to him
innocent boy
played with toy
thought he could handle
got destroyed

memory lasts
slow dripping pain
runs down window
over and over
it scrapes
images maintain
whenever in frame

all in all
there's no complaints
live, love, lose
all in a day
no matter how much ache
level of hate
move forward and thank

still alive today

really don't
feel so good
pain i feel
not understood
images i see
i wonder how
i can keep being me
images of death
gun on the table
i see the trigger
but i'm not able
to go to the store
and purchase a rifle
go home
sit on the couch
and blow my brains out
i don't have the power
don't have the courage
the only thing i can do
is live and continue
and hope that I feel
a better way
I know tomorrow
has got to be better
than this *******
that I deal with
on a daily basis
I feel like
the pain that I feel
how I was treated
continually misled
******* got fed
and all in the end
I ended up with nothing
an empty hand
alone in the house
phone silent
no one calling
no one caring
I'm here crying
why can't this be easier
something like dying
all I can think of
are thoughts that bleed
from my stomach
and into my heart
misery it feeds
thought after thought
of the evils that dwell
in my mind
so much hate
I can't even tell
all I remember
is the hurt that was caused
things said so caustically
casually
flippantly
disgustingly
like
my family is weird
that one hurt the most
it burns so bad
makes me want to get out of my seat
find you in the street
grab you by the throat
and choke and choke and choke
until you can't breathe
I'll do you the worst
by letting you live
in your disgusting existence
that's the best revenge i can give
other than forgiveness
I guess I'll just post this
take another breath
stop thinking death
and ask for forgiveness
just gotta dismiss this
it's so hard to forgive this
I don't want to live this

Love feels like chaos
when you're down and out
winds swirl around
smoke from the clouds
and it's gonna rain
strength can be sustained
on optimism concentrate
meditate
go under water
hold your breath
waiting for you at the surface
a devil in a blue dress
I hope that when I see her again
I'm 6 feet 10
confidence a grin
when she opens her mouth to chat
I'll give it right back
then walk away after that
new waters rising
new climate testing
a new beginning
a past devil's smile
slowly fading
no longer raining
chaos
I'm on the beach
finally at peace

I'm at a place where the gangsters greet
they come together like crackers and cheese
at the table they speak
over coffee they preach
their opinion on the economy
peace and war
carried out intelligently
I see and see
all these old men, well older than me
who came here to discuss
matters that do not pertain to me
slick talkers, joke crackers, wise guys, old guys,
new kids on the come up
anxious from the sun up
all in the midst of a local diner
where the buffalo roam
the herd travels together
to mix the latest words
I wonder what they're doing
the business they're discussing
this is the place where they meet
the gangsters of the city
in here they're at peace
but to educate the street
it's violence they teach

Lazy day Sunday
after crazy night Saturday
****** up on Friday
out late Thursday
cocktails on Wednesday
orange kush on Tuesday
Monday no time for fun day
back to the regiment
and serious business at hand
on my feet I stand
time to get back to work
but first
gotta relax with the day
catch the sun rays
on this lazy day Sunday

everyone
is in their own little world
these girls don't wanna see weakness
stallions running the preakness
I feel something want to cease this
but it's creeping
and it's seeking
hard clinging
nose bleeding
stay creative
no more complaining
uplifting
mind drifting
into position
to dismiss them
forgive them
and continue
to live them

Love is a word
not often used
hastily abused
to seperate fuse
and confuse

To acquire power
or regain
a wilted flower
love takes hold
and the reigns
of reason
are snapped
by its control
no longer in control
you use the word
to reacquire
lost desire
in your partner

love is loaded
who has the gun?
and talking about love
like inspiration from above
but really
just using the word
to feel safe

when push goes to shove
who do you trust
to use the word love

say it at the same time
on the count of three
it never comes easy
the word love
can be misleading
through cheating
when it gets heated
what do you say

what they always say

love
finds its way

aint no such thing as halfway crooks
aint no such thing as halfway intellectuals
aint no such thing as half read books
all i see are loud mouth crooks
that base everything off the way people look
spookin me out and trying to show off
when there isn't anything but smoke blowing
there's no such thing as the things you speak
the way you talk, your emotions bleed
you're weak
your words become more cheap
the longer you speak
i suggest you creep
and listen for a peep
no such thing as a smart person who doesn't listen
as we sit here and have this argument in the kitchen
and you keep dismissing
bait and hook like you're fishing
it's physics
you need to split
and fission
pay attention
and think before you speak
you're revealing your true intentions
non intelligently
understand that perspective
is not a collective
exchange thoughts and ideas
and you'll learn how to treat
another person
show respect
the next time we meet
by calling out
and taking names
showing face
talking about race
like you have it all understood
and the other opinion is no good
your mind is closed
as it should
you're from another planet
and our world's will collide
but let it ride
take a look
at someone else's life
you might be surprised
that it's the same on the inside

i feel devastation, once again i'm here, trying to work through this, doing this job, sitting down, and doing nothing, being isolated, and it's hurting me, it's starting to really hurt me, and i don't know. the dream i had, the things that haunt me, and i don't want to ever see her again, and i want her to know that i still hurt from that, but she doesn't care, and it doesn't matter to her, she's off in her own world, yet her energy gives me joy, her energy gives me joy, and then it geos away, then it goes away, and then it huts, i'm left here with nothing, just an empty bed, and another day, just another day, that i have to give my best to stay above the wake, and just hope and wait, i just hope and wait. it's tough and it's in my head each and every day, and i'm trying to do different things with my life and see a brighter day, and I've seen them, like yesterday, no tears shed no depression set in and I had a relaxing day, and a productive day, and I felt the hope from her and I felt her inside and it was such a devastate. Now i wake up and it's another downer day. Because I know she's gone away. The thoughts that race through my mind are too much to handle, I can't really see it clearly, they just go trhoguh, and the images in ym head just stay with me. I don't know if I'm delusional, but some days i don't efel like a normal person. Yesterday I felt like I felt like I felt like a man. And today. Today. I feel like. I got that melancholy. I feel like, I'm in a haze. And I can't sleep at night, until it's at least 5 or 6, then I get four or five hours and wake up. I'm in some sort of abyss. It's a ******* abyss. I don't know if I have a problem but I think I do, I don't think I'm supposed to be this way. I'm not normal. I'm not normal. I want to see a better day. I might go to the doctor to see if I have some sort of problem, and I'm sure they'll give me something, but I don't want that to make me crazy, or even crazeir. I'm worried, I don't trust, I don't trust. I want to feel healthy, mentally. I feel hopeless. But I know hope is there, I gotta stick it out. I gotta get some help. I need to go to rehab. I gotta get help. Please, I need to stop feeling bad. Please. Someone help me.

all the time
i'm feelin
sensitive as ****
like i'm hurt
trying to come up with something
that's gonna clear my pain
and make it go away
but some part of me
wants it to stay
so i can use it
to spray
the hottest ****
ever did
i want the world to know
how i feel
i want them to feel
my pain
and when i possess that
i will reign

A set of rules on how to break up when we break up. Might be having a good time here at this restaurant, applying your make up.

But when we leave and go, we're separate separately, a break from you and me.

But if this keeps happening, and I come home, and you meet me here, and now we're here, here's a set of rules, they're loud and clear:

No cheating and don't let me be misleading I'm not talking about the ****** pleading and the needing, if your truth is used and trust abused that is when we both lose, and no longer fused, we have to split.

Arguments and anger talk and a lack of communication, a big thick wall. That is when this is no longer a free for all, we part our ways, we're free to all.

At last. No contact. Got my stick and sack, there's no coming back.

I don't want to know or see
any of your friends
or their friends
or our friends
from when we
first began
I don't want to see them
or hear them
mention or remind
I want you out of my life

This is what I abide and believe
If that what's true
from your point of view
Then maybe this contract we don't have to do

These are the break up rules
and if you agree
it's nice to meet you
let's make plans for two

she asked me if i included
all the stories
i wrote about her
in my book

no
because a girlfriend of mine
told me
that person
doesn't deserve
to read
your creative genius
you are hurt
and whoever they are
they are a ****
and they don't care

before that she ****** me
and texted me
saying i had a big ****
but to the point let's stick
as i was saying to the original chick
that it doesn't matter
because that person
(her)
doesn't care

but my words came out in silence
because she didn't even hear
what i was saying
she didn't care
there was someone in her ear
a distraction from the near
but it was meant to be
because my words to me
were taken loud and clear

they dont know what i know
the side i see
the dark side that creeps
that she spits
and the fleas
coming out of her mouth
a disgust
coming from her gust
why are you still in the shower
ughh
where's my glasses
i don't know
ughhh
what about me
what about me
ughhh
i gotta go
time to flee

you know how i know i won the game
after it was played
only she remained
she ate remains
now she's stained
with my blood
if she cant sleep at night
there's a reason
other men lay creep
and fright
good luck to the one whose soul desired
now that i've seen it
feel despised
when she looks me in the eyes
i cannot see
the clarity
i experience now
the battle won
i live on
and she must remain
by herself
to this day
and tomorrow
and after that

while my soul remains

my heart hurts so much right now and i just can't really

it hurts me so bad
it hurts me so bad
i don't know why
but it hurts me so bad

i guess
i feel like
i just want to keep her at arms length
and talk to her about happy things
and only happy things

when u see someone
it changes things
and how u think

i feel like
i just took a step back
and a step forward
but i can't decide
which one it is

to go away
push further
or to stay
and try harder

i'm so mixed up in my heart right now
i want her back so bad
but i don't know if she's still there
my heart hurts so bad right now
i want her back
but i think she's gone

i want her back but i think she left
i saw her looking cute in that pretty dress
i forgot how much her smile meant to me
i forgot how much i miss her laugh
i can't write anything else but pain
my heart is stained
and it feels like forever

i sat and babysat my nephew today
i made him laugh, and i thought about her
with me in the room
she was there with me tonight
i made her laugh too

as i sit in this seat
i keep slumping over
i keep slumping over

i want her to come back
and be with me
but i think it's over
although that feels like never

I remember when
someone broke in
and stole my heart
never saw it coming
it happened at the start
and a few months later
I got a call from you
saying someone got
shot and killed
at your new place
like a child
I thought it was a game
you slept that night in fear
while out at the bar I remained
to me that was the day
that my love went away
and to this day my heart
cries and screams
I should have been there
by your side
and put your mind at ease
to let you know
I care about you more than me
but now I'm stuck here
with this bad disease
crying won't complete
and words can't describe
how much I miss thee
and I've always wanted you
but your love does not come free
I hated things about you
because they're what I saw in me
that's why I have to learn to love
me and only me
and hope and believe
that one day
I can let you be
and I want to let you know
that I forgive you for everything
and the next time I see you
I'm giving you this letter
even if it's in a dream

Listen up young man
with that lopsided grin
tighten that upper lip
point up that chin
I know life can get tough
after unrequited love
but remember there's a plan
coming from above
when push comes to shove
dig down deep
see what's creepin underneath
attached to your seat
is a belt
undo it
drive that car into a tree
if that's who you want to be
then so be it
but that's not how I see it
I keep dreamin
seeing you happily married
with kids
on vacation skiing
if that's what you want
and it's in your heart
then believe it
cuz believe me
I've lived long enough to see it
didn't you dream it?
yes of course
so have faith and courage
that'll keep you on course
your love will find you
but first you must discover
what it takes to be you
or the me
that you so aspire to be
can't you see
from who this letter is coming
your future you
the one you've always dreamed to be
I came true
and this letter I write
is stamped with love
a kiss on the cheek
words cannot speak
how proud I am to be
the you you've always wanted
I bet you can't wait to see
until that time
find patience diligently
stay true to your friends
your family
and be happy

Sincerely,
The Future Me

It was a general dislike
I didn't want to say it or see it
I think about it cuz it's important to me
now a days I think my head is clearing
I remember the fun things
all the silly games
now when I think about it
I can't help but say
it doesn't hurt as bad
gonna be a good day today