we were at the hospital the other day
on acid
saw some people
that looked
subhuman
started thinking those thoughts
like
how i would **** them
and get rid of
all of them
the acid talking
i breathed
and stepped out of the hospital to breathe
no smoking sign
telling me i can't do that
right here
fresh air
is near
over here
by the flowers
i smoked
a girl with purple hair
around me
very near
"is that your peoples?"
no no no
laughing
i don't know why
he thought she was with me
we were just staring
fading
tripping
the flowers looked 3D
the bee inside
looked like some **** from planet earth
i heard it there first
my first trip
a visit
to see a friend
struggling to breathe
while we smoke out front
walked into icu with a blunt
celebrating life
thinking about memories
and how they make us
rely
on what we know
and remember
to tell us the future
but
it's really what we make it
we can create new
break down barriers
break down the walls
make new paths
in the brain
heal
recover
breathe stronger the next day

i want to be the crayon in the box
that makes you think
that one
looks unique
it is a color i would prefer
to go with me

I hate my life right now
feels like it's upside down
the inside of my stomach
feels like the remains of a town
that got hit by a tornado
all the remains on the ground
the thoughts the feelings the memories
all tied together
inside of me
pain subsided
yet still i bleed
slowly
thoroughly
in need of anti freeze
to keep my heart from freezing
i get a little itch to get a quick fix
get out of the house
meet a new *****
but every time i meet one
i think about the old one
with make up on
she did me so wrong
i want to forgive but i can't really do it
there's something inside me
that says don't do it
i imagine a time in which i get revenge
but the best damage i can do
is with my mighty pen
no words, thoughts, ****** expressions, feelings
can do her any harm
so i'll get back to healing
when they ask me the same question
about my emotions
how i'm doing
i give them the same answer
i'm dealing
it's hard but i'm living
my work, my heart, my passion
my potential is the ceiling
but it's still there
that feeling

cats looking into your eyes
what does they want
what iz they surprize

the cat attacks
it is my demize
the cat agrees
the cat complies

cats eating brown food
cats not happy
cats no happy mood

cats begin to smoke and drools
cats doing many things
cats really rude

cats
cats
cats

the cat the cat the cat

I see him
he is terror
coming from the skies
I see the cat
I see his eyes
I see the cat
it is my demize

cats

The distance that separates me and a love
is closer than I think
it's above and beyond my reach
inside side my window
it peeks
when it is raining down
hailing and sleet
and I can't see
remember me
I'm the love that sings
under the tree
slowly ascend to heaven
and preach
a quiet withdrawal after 72 weeks
it won't ever cease
and when it breathes
hope I'm ready to be
in love again
shhh
I can't hear a peep
but it's right down the street
moves in silence
the distance between you and me
at the same time
brings us together
where are you?
how far are you?
away from me
I hope you're doing okay
I love you
hope we're together soon
I'm over here
separate
in my room

here it comes again
those thoughts about
what happened to him
innocent boy
played with toy
thought he could handle
got destroyed

memory lasts
slow dripping pain
runs down window
over and over
it scrapes
images maintain
whenever in frame

all in all
there's no complaints
live, love, lose
all in a day
no matter how much ache
level of hate
move forward and thank

still alive today

really don't
feel so good
pain i feel
not understood
images i see
i wonder how
i can keep being me
images of death
gun on the table
i see the trigger
but i'm not able
to go to the store
and purchase a rifle
go home
sit on the couch
and blow my brains out
i don't have the power
don't have the courage
the only thing i can do
is live and continue
and hope that I feel
a better way
I know tomorrow
has got to be better
than this *******
that I deal with
on a daily basis
I feel like
the pain that I feel
how I was treated
continually misled
******* got fed
and all in the end
I ended up with nothing
an empty hand
alone in the house
phone silent
no one calling
no one caring
I'm here crying
why can't this be easier
something like dying
all I can think of
are thoughts that bleed
from my stomach
and into my heart
misery it feeds
thought after thought
of the evils that dwell
in my mind
so much hate
I can't even tell
all I remember
is the hurt that was caused
things said so caustically
casually
flippantly
disgustingly
like
my family is weird
that one hurt the most
it burns so bad
makes me want to get out of my seat
find you in the street
grab you by the throat
and choke and choke and choke
until you can't breathe
I'll do you the worst
by letting you live
in your disgusting existence
that's the best revenge i can give
other than forgiveness
I guess I'll just post this
take another breath
stop thinking death
and ask for forgiveness
just gotta dismiss this
it's so hard to forgive this
I don't want to live this