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Pressed send and again I feel so far away,
Disconnected to loved ones I could only hope would stay.
So much energy given, the focus always leaves myself.
Caught in the waves of everything, if only I could ask for help.

I could, but I don't even know what to say
Wouldn't want you to waste your time, seeing as you already have a full tray.
Sorry if I can't muster a full smile, but I'll still wish you a good day.
I can be here, but disappear, into imagination - I stray.

I'm so cold
my words are mostly untold
my back reminds me I'm getting old
throughout life I was too often scolded
everyone thought I would be so easily molded
Bent backwards, I had eventually folded.
The stories are remembered, but not that I told it
This is why I write, to keep track of this whole skit
My heart is for you, you can leave behind the dull crypt
I always hold on until it's pulled, and I slip,

Back into my dark caverns only to  hear the occasional water drip

All I wanted was a type of unconditional love, someone who wanted me in their grip
But after all, this life is one long trip,
You fall, and get back up
Each instance hurts, after all you're a human with a cup.
Half the contents are there, yet, still wondering which way's down and which way's up.

Diamond in the rough, lost at sea
Maybe I'll see you where the sky meets the trees
I whispered your name, into the breeze
Just always remember that I love you, please

My body just wants to crumble with every exhale
*Dying to release
 Jan 2014 Axel Deion Ngsy
dany
To whom it may concern
I'm just another ****-up.

It's hard for me to express
all the words on my mind.
Though there are many things
that I'd like to say here,
it never comes out right anyway.

Yes, I am a lost soul, though
I've never been much for finding things.
Content in our misery? Not quite.
Though there are stars
that always shine the brightest
and they're there if you bother to look.

Not the best at many things,
like drawing, singing, spinning, dancing.
I wish I could say that I was confident
while doing the things that I love to do.
I've never had the pleasure
of keeping my hopes real high
The master at keeping my head down low.

Loving life was never easy.
I've never said it was.
Scars prove my journey.
No one knows I go through these things
but maybe you understand better now
About who I am.

I never wanted it to get this far.
I never wanted it to be this dark.
and my mind is constantly
plagued with these thoughts.
It's safe to say that my mind is alive.

I'm not outspoken and I'm not quiet.
I'm not fat and I'm not skinny.
I'm not ugly and I'm not beautiful.
I'm not boring and I'm not fun.
I'm Morgan, nice to meet you.
No, I am not a Christian, rather
I am a child adopted and chosen
I am a friend, He is my buddy
I am a follower, humbly obeying the Leader
I am a disciple, carrying my cross daily
I am an heir of the heavenly kingdom
I am a steward of the gifts that he gave me
I am a servant, loyal and faithful
I am a princess, set apart and of royalty
I am a citizen in but not of this world
I am an ally, no longer an enemy
I am a soldier constantly in battle
I am a conqueror, for He has won the victory
I am a slave, not to sin but to righteousness
I am an ambassador, representing peace
I am a new creation, gone is the old
I am a handiwork, a grand masterpiece
I am a branch yielding much fruit
I am a temple, the Spirit lives in me
I am a light and salt to all the nations
I am His possession, bought with a price too heavy
The word "Christian" was initially a derogatory word and it is becoming again so recently. Christians are usually portrayed as legalistic hypocrites especially in popular media and I mostly blame this on the people who have forgotten that Christianity is something that is more of a relationship than a religion, and more of "doing" than "being".
 Jan 2014 Axel Deion Ngsy
me gs
The only thing I want is you
Slam me up against a wall,
**** me till I can't breathe,
I want you

The sounds our bones would make,
A hundred years from now,
The most beautiful ratta-tat-tat
Of our bones pounding like drums
Heavy, ******, filling the air with our chorus
Love is music,
Life is love,
It all goes in a circle,
And currently,
I keep coming back to you

me.gs
A free bird leaps on the back
Of the wind and floats downstream
Till the current ends and dips his wing
In the orange suns rays
And dares to claim the sky.

But a BIRD that stalks down his narrow cage
Can seldom see through his bars of rage
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill
Of things unknown but longed for still
And his tune is heard on the distant hill for
The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze
And the trade winds soft through
The sighing trees
And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright
Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged BIRD stands on the grave of dreams
His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
His wings are clipped and his feet are tied
So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with
A fearful trill of things unknown
But longed for still and his
Tune is heard on the distant hill
For the caged bird sings of freedom.
I feel more sedated than alive,

Defying reason and questioning reality,

It’s like morbidly walking through

The endless fields of familiarity.

Slowly losing the ability to feel,

I can no longer distinct what is real,

Cold melancholy and apathy creep in my heart,

My existence becomes shrouded; like a rainbow in the dark.

Testing the bounds of sanity,

Human excess and passion flood the mind,

Releasing any bonds of any kind,

As I’m consumed by the snakes of vanity.

Laying among the ruins of my life,

As my paradise plummets down to Hell,

Because the confusion of chaos defeated me,

With kind words of reverence.

“Pride cometh before the Fall”,

As narcissism festers in self-loathing,

The feeling which makes your soul crawl,

Will cause intimacy to be exposed like clothing.

Fear is a thief for whom I hold no grudge,

And pain is a rehearsal for death.

I looked down at the abyss and took the lunge,

As my world was compressed into a single last breath.

— The End —