I built a Berlin Wall around my heart.
Not to keep others out,
but to keep myself in.
I built the walls higher
until no light could get in
and I stayed there.
I may have been alone
but at least I was safe.
Safe from you and your sugar coated words and electric touch.
Protected from the lies that seeped from between your lips,
and god, just your lips.
I kept myself away from your impish charm and devilish smile.
I had to,
I couldn’t let you in
Because when you broke me the first time
I could hardly manage
to pick up the fragments
and build them into something that at least resembled the girl I had been before.
A shell of what it was.
I added armour.
Heavy chainmail to keep me away from your beckoning embrace.
Was it worth it?
I’m not sure.
But the over flow of emotions
that I swam through every time I saw you
was drowning me.
So I built a raft and let it take me away.
I put myself here but now I’m trapped,
stuck in my own mind and stuck in my own heart.
It’s a terrible place to be.
Trust me,
you wouldn’t want to be here with me.

Its a beautiful lie
A perfect lie to believe in
Its time to let go of the truth
Its time to forget
I cant do this
I need someone to set me free
Lay awake at nite missing you
The perfect denial
With
Misplace love
In a beautiful lie
I need the one
To make me happy
To make me smile
Be the one i trust
Be the one i want to be with until i die
Be the one to make me feel better about myself
And
Think about our life
The perfect denial
With
Misplace Love
A beautiful lie
Love is a game

I see her in the morning.
I think of her in the night.
And all the hours in between,
She enslaves my very sight.

Her shiny black hair
Is like silky waves of night.
Her deep blue eyes
Are portals of mysterious light.

Her smile is magnificent.
Her teeth are always glimmering.
Her body is phenomenal.
Her laughter is always ringing.

She has a corner office.
I have a corner store.
I await the moment every morning
When she opens up my door.

She is perfect
In every single way.
All she has to do
Is everything I say.

She's married with children.
I'm single with none.
She seems so intense,
But maybe she's the one.

She'll be here soon.
What do I do?
I've absolutely, positively
Fallen for Sue!

I'm a fool!
I've fallen into a trap.
Help me find my way.
Can you lend me a map?

She is intoxicating.
She's out of her mind.
She follows me home
And tries to be kind.

She rearranges my furniture.
She decorates my house.
She adores this little puppy
That looks like a mouse.

She whispers and gossips
And whistles and prances.
She sends everyone into
Their own kind of trances.

She tasted better
Than Blueberry wine.
But she sure did crush
This little heart of mine.



Written by: Andrew D. Robertson

I see you in the halls sometimes
And thoughts go through my head
Memories flash, I'm taken back
Suddenly I'm filled with dread.
It's not some bad memories, no,
It's really only you
I wonder if you remember
Do you remember like I do?
Those talks we had, times we shared
Was it really just a show?
You were my friend, keyword were,
Tell me, why'd you have to go?
I miss you, dear
You're all I got
I know you're gone, and maybe you're glad
Listen dear, just know I'm not.
I lost a friend, a confidant
My very best and all
Just know I still remember
When I see you in the halls.

Your face is framed in memories my mind refuses to forget
I look into your eyes and instantly I’m in the middle of it
On top of the tallest building, inside of our favorite bridge
Wearing a salt stained gown 5 sizes too big
Your eyes bore into mine and I try not to shy away
I dig deep trying to find the words to say
I miss you; I love you; I dreamt about you last night
Words escape my mouth but don’t feel right
My words can’t move you or make you real
Instead you stay in your frame, not knowing how I feel

Sometimes, at 3 AM in the morning
I lie awake and wonder about the unknown
Where would I be?
Who would I be with?
Would my children have their daddy's eyes?
Or would they have my madness?
And I wonder  about all what could have been
But what I wonder about the most is..
Would I be happy?
Sometimes when I'm wide awake at 3 AM in the morning I just wonder

I could write novels on the way you make me feel,
filling infinite pages with your essence would be a simple task.
I'd struggle only with the way to word perfection and the way your eyes gleam
as well as describing the ways your smile makes me weak.
You are so **** far away and I miss the sound of your voice
with the frequency of the tides hitting the shore.
But despite the tilt of the earth, time zones, interstates, and state borders
that keep me away from my home, I still feel close to you.
I could reach my arm across the bed and almost feel like you are here.
I wake up in the middle of the night,
expecting the body I have never even slept with to be here protecting me.
I know you are, just not physically.
You cannot be in my region of time and space
and I cannot be in yours.
None of these boundaries can keep me from you,
we both refuse to let them.
But every single moment I do something new or see something beautiful
or blink
or breathe
I miss you.
My fingers curl against my palm and my hands ache,
I reach out for you.
I wake up once more and experience the biggest disappointment I could imagine.
You still cannot be here and I still cannot be there.
So for now, I'll hold you in my heart that keeps my blood circulating
and where you have purchased your retirement home.
I will let you reside in my heart and soul because you cared enough to tear
down the wall, brick by brick.
When we come together,
I will not waste another moment.
I will hold you tight and tell you I love you.
Even after I have found out the definition to your perfection,
I will sty and I will love you for a lifetime.
I know you will keep redefining it as you have redefined my life, soul, and heart.
I'll hold you soon enough.
But for now, know I love you
and that I will not return the keys to the space I occupy in your heart.

Sometimes I don't even know if I'm sad,
If I actually want to be happy,
What if I actually want to stay sad,
What if all I'm doing
Is just because
I crave for

Attention.

That'd be really bad,
All the attention I'm already getting,
Is it not enough?
Have I really become that

Selfish?

All the little
Challenges
The people around me
Go through,
Have you really neglected them all?
Is it really because
You're depressed
And so you've
Wallowed up in this
Hole of depression
Cut off yourself from the rest of the world?
Or is this just

Intentional?

I don't even know
If i genuinely feel anymore
Or if all these thoughts
Are words from the devil.

I just hope
The people I love
Are fine,
Or more than ok
Hopefully.

It's just sad
That no one shares their problems anymore,
Worried they'll add on to mine,
When really,
It's doing
The opposite.

But it's my fault again
Isn't it?
For being sad in the first place,
For sharing the problems with you,
For bothering you
Time and time again,
It's all just me.

Me, myself and I.
Is that all that's in your mind?
What have you become?

Selfish ****.