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In the darkness I sit in silence, you are beside me, but I am alone
Your chest rises and falls as peaceful as ever
Why are we doing this, can we please just go home?
You were my hero my rock, you were supposed to live forever.
What happens when this is all over, when I leave this place?
Will I ever feel healed; will I even remember your face?
My palms are sweaty, my heart is racing now, its beating so fast
Please wake up and hold me, I don’t want this feeling to last
I loved you from the beginning; I held your hand as best I could
You were so strong, but this beat you as I knew it would
My world is shattering in front of me
As I sit beside you and I watch your soul flee
You have left me alone as of tonight
This is it, you have given up the fight
It kills me to see you so weak so sick and pale
As I hold your limp hand, so empty and frail
I cannot even breathe in, for fear of disturbing you
I am sick to my stomach, but I promised I would see you through
Through good and through bad, I promised I would be here
No matter how much you hurt me, I promised I would always be near
My heart is beating as the minutes turn to hours on this night
I look at your face, and nothing seems right
As I clutch to your still breathing body this moment lasts so long
But you were gone the whole time; you had already sung your last song
I turn and walk out of the room, once last glimpse of your face
I am gone, and I will never go back to that place
I held your hands to the very end
I loved you so much, you are my dad,you were my friend
Please all I ask of you now is to help me through
Because I don’t know how to do it without you
I will always keep going, with you in my heart
Because you are gone but we are never apart
Your journey begins; your soul has gone free
But please wherever you go, carry with you part of me.
Your standing at a cross roads
And you dont no which way to go
To the left is a road you've never known
To the right is the life youve lived and grown
As the rain pours down along your face
Your confused on which choice to make
Your scared of change and risk
You always belive youll fail the test
Even though your stronger than most
You dont belive you have anythin to boast
A predictiable stable life is what you want,
Descions and stress give you haunt
A fulfiled life is all you want,
My Wandering woman just follow your heart,
Dont worry what others think, its about what you want
Let nature be your guide and show you the way,
Choose a path and dont ever stray
Follow the sun the moon and stars,
Theyll always stay bright for you,
Just look to the sky whenever your blue,
Take a deep breathe and let it all flow out,
Before you make a descions no matter what about,
While your at the crossroads wanderer,
Always remember not to ponder,
Follow your gut and nothin but,
Dont let outside fears take control,
Your demons are no match for your heart,
Even though they may never let go,
Fight through them all with courage and wit,
Think on your toes and never sit,
Youll get through this wandering woman,
Never doubt what you are doing.
Never let your smile go dim,
It will brighten up any room,
Keep your eyes open wide
They are as blue as the sky,
Tread your gorgous soul onward dear,
There is nothing for you to fear.
As you stand at the crossroads before you
Remember these words i said to you,
If you choose the road you dont know
Or the one that youve grown accustom too
Just make sure that youll be happy first,
Happiness is your primary first.
Everything else can wait,
And i myself can always wait,
Ill wait until your seas have calmed,
Until it is safe to climb a shore,
Until your storm has subsided,
And you can no longer deny it.
Never the less ill always be by your side,
And for you ill hang up my pride.
You'll always have a place in my heart,
You always have right from the start.
I'm keeping my soul in a little red book
The cover is torn up, it's true
Some pages fall out when the poor thing gets shook
But I'm keeping myself here for you
 May 2013 Autumn Carol Smith
elle
Tea time
And I sit alone
At the table
Hearing cicadas drone
Seeing roses climb the gable
Steam coming from my small mug burns
And without you here, I am now able
To focus on much bigger concerns
Like what color to paint the picket fence
Or where to place this quaint birdhouse
Or what to name the new little field mouse
That scurries outside where the magnolias bloom
right next to the headstone where the leaves are strewn
I want to take the bits of you I love
and press them like flowers
between the pages of my favourite book
because I know these will never fade.

And I want to take all the scraps
that you dislike about yourself
and display them on my refrigerator
to show you I'm still proud
of the person you are
and of the person you are becoming.

But most of all, I want to spin you like a globe
and drag my fingers accross until it stops
to discover the pieces of you
that you've yet to reveal to anyone else.

I want to wrap them up in linen
and place them in an old cigar box,
I'd tuck it away safely
in the top drawer of my bedside table,
so you know I will never let
those pieces of you go

Because when you share
hidden parts of yourself
with someone else,
you're trusting that person
to hold the secret sections
of your heart,
and to love the bits you thought were unlovable.
I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to see the face that will turn me back into a fool

I can’t wait to see how many smiles I’ll waste on him

I can’t wait to see what outfits I’ll buy just for him

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to hug him like I’ll never let him go

I can’t wait to hang on his every word like they were a life raft

I can’t wait to see the eyes that take me over

He’ll have everything I never knew I wanted

I can’t wait to meet my next heartbreak
Have you found Jesus yet?

I found him on the back of a milk carton.
But they wanted to lock him up.

I found him at the Home Depot.
But he called himself Hey Suse.

I found him on my toast.
But I was starving.

I found him in a homeless man.
But he just wanted my spare change.

I could not find him in a church.
I could not find him in the Book.

They said I'd find him in my heart.
But my eyes could not see him there.

I steadied the blade over my heart,
and plunged it deep.

I found him in a river of blood.
But he called himself Life.
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