Kiss me deep,
Like the ocean.
I want to feel the waves
Crashing down.

Hug me tight,
Like a sweater.
It's yours I wear
That fits like a gown.

Whisper so soft,
Like the crystal snowflakes
Gently falling
From colder realms.

Touch me tenderly,
Like a newborn baby.
Enhance my senses,
I want to experience the sights and the smells.

Tug at me desirably,
Like the guiding wind.
I feel my garments getting looser
And my desire even stronger.

Make me yours completely,
Like lovers often do.
I want every part of you.
I can't stand it any longer.

Dream world in an alternate ground reality
where the black trees are shadows
lurking and waiting to consume the firefly
light illuminating my blood
like radioactive sludge pulsing
loving breathing
I want the transcendent mauve sky
to drown me until I am nothing more
than the ideals of humanity
murmuring of the metal birds
and mammals
humming harmoniously with the
beat of my ears
I am not awake
I have been here before
somewhere in a past life
I can feel it rattling in my bones
another radio frequency is found
tomorrow will not come because
everything is here and now
this moment expands as far as the eye can see
and then some
firewood burning inside my eyes
charring my iris
until the blue turns to orange
and the icy barren air fills my lungs
I am a wasteland

I take everything to heart.
That half hearted hug hangs loose on my hips.
I've been wondering around this forest with cement blocks tied to my feet
that I am simply too lazy to untie,
and I'm scared.

Every word spoken questions all i've done,
and what I'm doing.

I've fallen in love with too many people, and in that mess,
I have shattered my own heart,
and refuse to let it heal.

I can't write as beautifully as her,
but that doesn't make my words any less sincere.

In a way,
you've almost become another one of my medications,
and I hate being dependent on anything
or anyone.

I really wish that you would stop playing with me.
Although a year form now,
none of this will matter.

spirits of the gray concrete lives lost
in the days that never existed
i hope they dont find me
but my breath is louder than my heartbeat
keeping still in the shadows of
my own hard shell
don’t tell him im here
be silent and immobile

the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do
is let go of it all when there
is nothing left
but the memories that
made it so hard to leave in the first place

the fireplace cackles and spits
i throw in my head
i throw in my head and
it burns and chars
scrapes and melts
but at least i am healthy
at least i am porcelain
pristine

the leather upholstery tickles
that patch of skin behind your knee
but you stay silent -
wouldn’t dare laugh
you blink until there
is no longer a life worth
living, do not blink
i plead
keep your eyes open until
they begin to water
salt water tears
until they are red and
burning with truth
don’t you dare blink
just let them see your smile
as you stick your face in the flames

how many nights will it take
before i realize
how truly little, people
care about me
sitting unnoticed
silently full of sadness
because so many others
project theres upon

everybody else
tonight i need to leave
because i cant take
being treated like this
anymore

all i want is somebody to care
somebody to be excited to see me
i guess I'm just
not that important anymore

Remember when we were happy
and nothing could take the sun away from us
that kissed the backs of our necks
and warmed our cheeks

Nobody could end our adventure
for we were young and in the woods
there was no time

Remember the games that never got boring
and the way we wandered
the trees like they never ended

Youth pulsed through our blood
and ran in through our veins
like the way we ran down the stream

Time didn't exist
We radiated happiness
Under the sun was eternity
And I wish I never left

Metal head, tapping the barrel against my brain
Enough dark thoughts to drive men insane
Done with the feign, done with the all stress for the gain
Done with the drugs, the sensation of bliss was in vain

Death pumps through the veins, just beginning to realize it
People say I changed, I chose to deny it
Dissociated, putting up mental walls like they’re armor
Now I find myself making the same mistakes as my father

Never shaken or bothered. Never connected at all
No real relations, even my ******* self I appall
No motivation to stay, no motivation to leave
No motivation for anything, least of all me

No goals, No fears, No laughs, No tears
The face I wear’s a facade, just to blend with my peers
Honestly, I couldn’t care if it all ended tonight
Or if it didn’t, just don’t give a **** bout a life

So I sit here, contemplating thoughts of the bitter
Lit cigarette in the left, the other hand holds the trigger
Mind of a drifter, but I’ve given up on the plight
Sigh. Squeeze. Bang. I’m gone, goodnight.

Ripped up and torn apart
as they always have been
I watched as your hands dig
through your pockets
in search of that last cigarette.
as smoke poured out of your mouth
I thought back to a time in which
my love did the same.
Two years previous
This would bring me to tears.
Studying your steady heartbeat
with each breath I wait for
"I miss you" to follow.

Telling you what you meant to me
ended with a reply of
"I know,
you've already told me"
but wether or not it's understood
runs away as time has. Leaving me
wondering, can you see
that i've been broken ever since?

Placing your chewed up chapped fingers
on my left knee, followed with an empty stare
possibly in search of words. Your eyes, now
empty muddy pools swirling with the different drugs
to keep the weekends exciting, are an abandoned
home. Yellowed teeth from the five
smoke breaks a day share the same spot as
cold coffee to keep you alive on these long nights.
Yet, for some reason butterflies still carry me away
when brought to company
even though, we don't appear to be
the same as we were
two years ago.