Look up,
they'll be fights going on
in the deepest hours of the night,
all behind pretty-born neon lights.

Look over,
she'll be mid argument with him
using uncouth words that appear blunt,
all behind a red brick front.

Peak 'round,
he'll be throwing clothes into suitcases
clearing out the wardrobe, not leaving traces,
all behind walls of places

you know.

i tried
i picked it up and
strummed some chords
but every time i try to sing the
lyrics i have written
i cry
and i'm done with this
i'm trying to write
but i can't
and this is why

i feel as if you're still here
and i'm scared of you
did you hear my words?
i'm scared of you
i'm scared of the feelings that seem to follow you
like ducklings following their mother
and you're always here
like those ****** demons
in those pitiful films
they call horror
and crap,
i feel bad
i feel really bad
and i know i shouldn't
but i do
and can you please stop?
you seem to be reigning over me
floating over my head
and it's constant
the thoughts i think
"i feel used"
"this entire thing was a lie"
"i'm an idiot"
and this isn't good
and it's scaring me
everything about you scares me now
and i'm glad it's over but then again,
i'm not
i'm really not
and i can't bring myself to sing
a song because that's what we used to do
and it's stupid
i know
but
that is why
i can't

I was written over
Again and again until
When the pen
Ran out of ink
I was simply stabbed instead
With the dull ball-point
Forming a scar;
A sideways eight
Like my sideways heart
Scratched across the skin
Of every moment
I can never un-wear

a list of songs
that I don't want to sing,
I wonder if when you smoke
I ever cross your mind.

kisses on the cheek
hang loose,
like toys do
in a tired child's hand.

and the only thing our lips
bring each other
are awkward greetings
followed by another sudden
departure.

I don't necessarily miss you
but I do miss the warmth you brought
home each night.

doodles of my tattoo
are found scattered through your notes.
you're pretending
that it's a coincidence.

Who was she
to disgust love
in your eyes.

empty hearts
being filled with the burning
of any alcoholic beverage
that we are presented with.

it's time to get up off the floor,
because you're not coming for me.

papers clenched tight
with tears streaming down
a dirt covered face,
I wonder what  i've done this time.

Long car rides,
as such,
leave us to nothing but our thoughts;
wondering why the hell you would try and kiss me,
as your "lover" stood close.

like death,
She picks away at everyone and everything until they crumble
in her hands so that she can casually toss them to the side.
Going the extra mile,
making you want to turn inside out,
until she has her way.

One month ago you loved me,
and I wish
you were still my best friend.

what has it all come to?
sleepless nights
filled with consuming anything
that will alter our bodies
and mind.
searching for a non-existing
company.

old lovers
and promises
run around
like marathons,
and each Saturday night,
I fall apart.

My limbs
cause nothing but trouble.
And leaving my body
wholey,
would be heavenly.

the leaves are changing,
and the long nights are getting colder.
there hasn't been a day in the past month in which I haven't cried,
and I'm terrified of what comes next.