tears should be made of glass
because they're more transparent,
easy to see my soul,
but they aren't
because when they would fall,
they would shatter,
and no longer could that
monster inside
curl its talons around my heart
if i wasn't suffering alone in silence

as his lips brush against my own,
my entirety
gives in,
and i know
he is all i want.
his light kisses
travel
from my lips,
to my rosy cheeks,
down to my open neck..
each adding to the
trail of tiny fireworks
left behind.
each dances upon my skin,
seeming to burst with love,
his love that believes
that i am the type
of forever beautiful
that one can find
in the moon.
strong and bright,
but not to be afraid of.
not overwhelming like the sun,
but an easy elegance
that stands out among the rest.

as his hand found my own,
he held it with not possession,
but comfort,
as he knew,
this was how it was meant to be.
the way his fingers
layed wrapped around my own
sent sparks through my blood,
singing with bliss
that i was the type
of forever beautiful
that one can find
in a rainstorm.
steady and calm-
constant love.
the way that even when it all ends,
part of its beauty still remains behind,
just like how
everytime he sees me,
i leave him breathless
and wishing that i'd never leave his side.

i can't remember the last time
i cried myself to sleep.
i guess that's a good thing.

i can't remember the last time
i cried two nights in a row.
i guess that's a good thing.

well,
good if it lasts.
it's good until that next night comes,
and the next,
and the one after that.
and each and every time,
silent tears roll down your cheeks.

so i guess it's a good thing that i can't remember.
but that also means that when i fall,
i fall hard and fast,
and i shatter
leaving so much more work to do now
than what would have ever been needed.

i want to lay down in the grassy fields
oceans away
and feel the caress of the breeze
kiss my skin
where our bodies met.

i want to sleep among the stars
worlds away
and dream new dreams.
and when i awake,
use the soft light from the stars themselves
to write beautiful poetry
of the new world i will create.

i want to swim in the depths of the oceans
miles away
to find the beauty in the world
that no one has yet to unmask,
that i know is there,
because you've shown me it.

i want to fly with the wind
all over the globe
to see
all that there is to see,
until my heart is as light as the wind that carried me,
and my mind is in a state of euphoria.

i want to sit among the clouds,
high above us all,
and watch the world go by
beneath my feet.
and even if i may not see you sitting beside me,
i want to feel the weight of your hand in mine,
praising me for living through all of our dreams
for you.

He branded her skin with his words
and claimed her body with his hands.

He tied a knot around her heart
and tugged in times of despair.

He was a chef in the art of lies
and he knew just how much sugar she liked.

He knew her,
the shape of her curves,
the waves in her hair,
the desire in her lips..
the cracks in her mask.

He knew how she valued words,
how they were as valuable to her as music to him.

He knew how she longed for knowledge,
how it brightened her eyes and enlightened her heart.

He knew her,
everything about her,
because she could go on for hours
and never run out of words she wanted to share with him.

He had told her he loved her.

And then he just could never seem to remember to tell her again.

this isn’t my fault.
yet here we are,
you pretending to be
the damaged prince
and i portrayed
as the damning witch
who may wield love
but never know it.

with ice stretching
up the window
and the sun’s reflections
dancing on car hoods
i told you
when the warmth returns,
we’re going to
stargaze.
you tilted your head
as a puppy would,
questioning the spontaneity
of such a wish.
i had said i was just thinking.
but i lied
because every time
i fall into your eyes
i gaze at the universe inside,
brimming with possibility,
every time
i lose myself in your eyes
it’s because
i’m too busy stargazing,
diamonds of wishes
that never could be,
remnants of dreams
that could each set me free,
the sun and moon
bold and stark
against the universe,
you ache to give me it all.
but for once,
i wanted you to see
what i fell in love with
so easily.

i'm not sure which hurts more:
          the fire burning at my insides
                    or the calm that just won't hide.

she was a mess.
but it was okay
because no one could see
her internal clutter.

but then he came around,
and soon he was her morphine.
he became her stars,
and her sun.

and no longer
would the mess inside
take over,
not when he was there.

but soon,
the nights were too foggy for the stars to appear
and her words would form waterfalls
cascading down into the depths of her heart.

soon,
the moon would fall in love with her sun,
and the clutter inside would only grow,
blocking any light from creeping in.

too soon,
the mess would be indestructible,
and too hard to hide.

and now,
there was no one to stop it.