My heart I can't control
for you rule my soul.

No time for me
No time for you
I'm sorry again
The wrong words were said
Waiting alone
Wondering where you've gone
Tired mind
Won't shut off no matter how you try
Missing you
Missing us
Things you say
You never get done
Wasting time
You can never get back
Feeling lonely
Even when you're here with me
Lots to do
So much to figure out
Time is money
And mine's running out
Why do I miss you
What's with the distance
I'm right here
But where are you
Craving your affection
Longing for our familiar connection
Burning passion
Smoldering down to only ashes
You know I get mad
And you're who I blame for that
But why waste the red bull
Or the love in this room
Baby, we got some making up to do
So come on over
And I'll let you have it
You can take it out on me
Don't hold back
Lets take our time
Forgiving these hearts we use
Candle light
Locked door
"I'm leaving" left on the floor
We're both angry inside
Let me love that out of you tonight...
See this smile
I'm trying so hard to hide
Who we trying to fool
I know your game
And you know all my rules
Baby girl's feeling ****
And you're playing it so cool
Just stop it
And let me have it
Until I give into you
Take your time,
Lay me down,
Hold me close and
Love this aching out of me tonight.
© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

If love doesn't make you want to live
Wouldn't you be better off dead....

Walk the silent emptiness
that leads me into shattered tomorrows
Tear away the skin
that has taken me so long to stitch
Licking my wounds from yesterday
Feeling so hollow today
Time passes never waiting for me
Open me up and expose me to your ways
I am twisted like your brain
Immune to what I've became
I've been taken for granted
And it's broken me
Wearing me down to nothing
Everything is compromised
What will you think
When all you see is only a part of the other me?
Because you can peel away the outside
But all you'll find is the shadow of a soul inside
Take a drag and look at the world
with dying eyes
Staring at it dead while giving it head
waiting for all the things I love to never come alive
It's okay if you want to hate me
I'm sure I'd be better off without the animosity
And I wont believe in you when I'm reminded
of everything you put me through
You tried to make me feel sorry for
your self-inflicted misery
It's okay if you lie to me
But don't think I'll have anything left to give
when you come crawling back again
Don't look back just so you can lean on me
You've taken all the life there was out of me
With the words you say, pushing me away
Living your life a different way
Expecting me to do the same
Separating our lives and then wondering
why
I up and walked away
Too much time
Too many wasted days
Too many things I've never spoken
Now I'm setting free all this pent up emotion
I've never told you what to do
Never made you a promise I couldn't be held to
How many different faces could you show me?
How could you always be right?
Living in your world of fantasy
Dramatizing everything
Leaving me dead and broken again
You never wanted to be sober
Just wanted to feel numb all the time and
You can always justify whether you're
walking dead or alive
Wasting your time however you like
Does life feel better with a hangover sometimes?
You were the spoken truth, I was the lies in you
I made you shine in everything you would do
I was your lighted way and you my darkest day
Funny how you could always rely on me
But I can never depend on you
We are suppose to be best friends but
This is no longer the life for me
This isn't the way I want things to be
I was your peace of mind, confusing all your time
I ran through your veins, and you were my pain

Got him wrapped around my finger
Constantly trying to change his ever impressive mind
Better watch how I treat him
He may lose his mind
He told me twice
Better watch for him walking towards the door
And not thinking twice about doing it
Guess I better bat my pretty blue eyes
And shake these curvy hips
Because love's not keeping him here

Love's just a game
No matter who thinks they win
The outcomes always the same
So before I pick up the strength I need to leave
Along with all the things you said
But would never do
I want to understand this thing we called love
Between me and you

You think you had me all figured out
But keep stepping Prince Charming
If you think you're one of a kind
Because if I told you once
I told you twice
You're pretty words just sting my ears and blur my eyes
A boy trying to be like a man
No love's going to save me
Just look into my fiery eyes
You can't figure out what's on my mind

For the love
For the pain
For all the ways I wished you'd change
For the way I never will
Hide the feelings I feel
For the good times
For the bad
And everything in between
Here's a toast to life lessons and broken dreams
For games we play
Looking back to see
How big our love started out
Then how small it came to be
To never giving up
For rising above
To all the pretty dangers of love

We're only humans but we have good hearts
We tried hard but were cursed from the start
We crossed the bridge with our eyes wide shut
Been swimming in the river of desire
But could only hold our breaths for so long

Faith is the only way to heaven
Grace can't replace the hurt inside
We've made this mess
Now in it we will lye
You turn your back on me
And I turn you around for months
I've been lost and you're not slowing down
Been playing with fire until totally consumed
Tell me to my face that I'm wrong
But you can't catch me now
I'm too far gone

In a world full of liars
There was truth in our song
But we can't hear it anymore
It's coming from the part of our hearts
That should never say goodbye
Drowning in our lover's cries
Everything I ever had
Has disappeared from your eyes
Everything you ever wanted me to know is now invisible to mine

Days slip by running from the past we had
No where left to hide
This poison is more than we bargained for
We are broken
The space between us empty now
Buried below
All you have to show now is absence from my life
That's something you always managed to get right
And I kept paying that toll
Always upset looking at you
Tears streaming down my face
An empty or half-filled whiskey glass
Doesn't matter it all goes down the same

It's dark now like an eclipse  
And I can run but I can't change
The answers or what I hoped they'd be
Now my questions fade like shattered dreams
You were always right
Even when you said you loved me

No control over this now
So why continue to try?
I still find my self-esteem in your dreams
But to get your attention there's got to be a better way
I just want to know why
Because this makes no sense to me
I can't change what you say
And you're tired of playing my games
Our words just play ***** little tricks
And leave us feeling ashamed
So can you tell me now...
Who is the one to blame...?

I don't know how we came to be
But without you now I'd be incomplete,
Even though you're a slave to your job
and addicted to magic cards,
I'll never lose my faith in you.
We know two becoming one is lethal
But if we don't wanna die alone
We gotta do something to try and fill the void
And you can't buy love
why would you even try?
Sometimes the truth won't make you happy
But I'm not going to lie
The one thing I know to be true is...
It ain't what you say it's what you do
And my heart beats only for you.
I know I'm far from perfection
I'm perfectly imperfect with all my scars of affliction,
But when you feel like giving up,
When no matter what you do it's never good enough,
And when the going gets rough
You will always have my love.
When you're crying out
And the ones you thought were friends
haven't stuck around,
When I get angry
And say what I don't mean,
When I keep my heart protected
not on my sleeve,
You still don't have to question if my heart
belongs to you,
Because it belongs only to you.
No matter where we go
Or even if we don't,
No matter how hard the adjustment bureau tries
I'm never leaving your side,
Because this kind of love don't die.

© Ashley Rodden. All rights reserved

The sky is burning red
But I am cold and broken
And I know I will suffer in the end
But I will fight to die another day
I will not bow today, I will take your breath away
Please push me to my limits one last time
Let's scream until nothing's heard inside
Sick of playing
I don't like this game anymore
Enough is enough this is no longer fun
You say, "think about it" and I did
Now I don't want to feel a thing
I'm tired of begging you for the things I need
Show me where forever ends and
I'll survive
Paranoid
Undefined to this cold blooded fate
Forgive me
Bleed for me
Heart pounding come at me
For all is fair in love and war
I know you and this isn't just a game anymore
Blowing your smoke rings in a heart shape
Just close your eyes and rest in peace
Imagine your life living as a king
And I'll die on your battlefield of love,
*Fighting

Before we met each other
We would stand on the bank
Skipping rocks on top of the water
Watching them sink to the bottom.
We would wade out ankle deep
Where it was shallow
And dream about meeting a true lover
From time to time we would venture
Far enough out to get soaked
But never over our heads
We would sit and throw sticks
While we pondered love and the meaning of it
We would get mad and try to drown ourselves under
Then the day we met and dared each other
To jump in the deepest part of the water
I'm pretty sure you dove first
But you called to me from the bottom
And I couldn't help but follow
I couldn't let you hold your breath forever
So fast we swam back to the surface together
Took a deep breath of each other
As we reached the top I was your's to keep
Letting go of words cause talk is cheap
The waters so gentle and calm
Until the storms began
So many we have weathered through
But we always managed to save each other
Then one day you swam ahead of me a little further
I tried catching up but the rip tide
Caught me and pulled me farther away from you
When I finally caught back up I was so exhausted
And you were tired of waiting
Always looking back
Calling hurry up and swim faster
Now we're both stuck here
And it's still as we are just floating
But hold your breath because we're going under
And I can see the shore
I thought that's what we were heading for
Now I'm not so sure....

I'm tired of begging (you)
for the things I want.