Turn off your electric
revival.
Fold yourself into
flesh origami
Undress into blankets
In you, I find
eternity yearns.

Let us sleep forever
Wake up when the past returns.
Through war and dystopia we shall
sleep forever
and wake
at every
day.

i would do anything for you,
even if that means
waking up at three in the morning
just to hold your hand
so you don't have to chase your
nightmares away alone.

it was last winter by the icy river
covered with crisscrossing cracks as we skated the tenuous surface wanting only to fall
into each other’s arms

it was when I found a bruise on my collarbone
and I believed it was from you loving me so much you wanted me to break
just so that you could kiss the pain away

it was the darkness of a movie theater as the backdrop for our obsession
we grew together starting with our fingers as they interlaced and never let go

it was me carving scars into my forearms so that I could reassure myself that I still existed,
even when you weren’t there

it was lying on the roof under the stars and counting constellations and being worried
that you would dislike how I named them and push me off the edge

It was later, the wanting to jump

I was only a half of a whole
I was never as interesting or pretty as I was with you, so I was always with you

If you had told me that to save you from drowning I had to go in your place
I would have jumped in the ocean  
begged the sharks to surround me
tied myself to the smooth worn rocks

I think you would have let me

it was when you would act as if you were blind
and try to learn the hills and hollows of my face with your fingertips
sometimes following the line of my neck to the triangle shadow at the base of my throat
and farther onward than I wanted you to go

I should have known it in the way I shivered when you touched me
I could never figure out if it was happiness or fear
anxiety or anticipation
you tried to cover me with a blanket but that only made it worse
I wanted to expose myself to you
needed you to see every dip and curve of my stillness
so that I could prove you were right for me

you gave me a pendant for my birthday that hung heavy round my neck
it was inscribed with the word forever in spiky script
and I knew that you were claiming me for yours
knew that the necklace was my dog tag so that if I got lost, people would know they couldn’t have me.  
I say people
I mean boys
The other boys, the ones you seemed so afraid of
you were sure that once your back was turned, I would ***** around
offering my love and kisses like party favors
I never would have.  

I offered you all of myself
yet somehow, you always wanted what I was holding back
I was holding back nothing; there was nothing else for me to give away
my arms were holding together the little bits of me that were left
but you wanted those too, and because I loved you, I gave them to you
and fell apart in the wind
crumpled to the ground like a fallen house of cards

instead of kissing in the rain
we fought in the rain
our shouts were in sync with the thunder
when lightning struck I cursed God that he hadn’t hit you
he never seemed to hear

I liked the summer the best
It was too hot to do anything but lie on the sticky grass
watching the fireflies spell out our names
in phosphorescent afterimages in the southern night
that was where you hurt me so silently
your hands around my neck like an extension of your embrace

by that time I had been trained to think that was all it was

silence can be a beautiful thing
when it blankets the cold
of a kitchen floor;
(there is something lovely
about the lines of your hands
and the peculiar smile that
plays at your lips
when you can not voice
what you need to speak)

you whispered to me
        -it's amazing how much
        you can say
        without words-
in the quiet, i
could not help but tell you
i love you
a thousand times over.

i am beginning to wonder when i started finding
imperfections so beautiful

maybe it was when i decided
i would never be perfect,
and that the only way i could look at myself in the mirror
was if i started with the ugly scars on my ankle
and made my way up slowly
past my knobby knees,
prominent hip bones,
too-small chest,
pointy nose,
until i looked myself in the
eyes,
taking in every abnormality or distinct deficiency
until i could convince myself they were unique enough
to be considered in someone else's eyes
"pretty"

i began doing the same thing with everyone else,
turning their flaws into something charming
so much
so that when i came across you,
i didn't have to think about it-
i knew from the start that you would be
perfect.

I love you.
I will never abandon you like everyone else.
Never would I hurt you,
Unless you disobey me.
For I own you.
You are my property.
Like a little teddy bear I cuddle
And squeeze you until your stuffing pops
Out from behind your eyes.
Your beautiful eyes.
Watch and observe.
Observe your body, disgusting.
I provide goals for you.
Something to do, a challenge to accept.
No matter how many times you cut the cord,
We will forever be attached.
I, as a newborn
Feeding off all that is you.
Or I, as your mother,
Protecting you and entrapping you, inside my womb.
Our lives depend on each other.
We are one.
United through your blood.
Your every breath.
I am your best friend.
Loyal and honest.
As long as you have me,
You need no one else.

As I walk down my driveway, past the seemingly endless field of
green,
sprinkled with little purple weeds, dotted with clumps of yellow
daffodils,
I think about how much I love flowers.
Roses are my favorites, but daisies and wildflowers are a close
second, I think.
I like to think of myself as a flower.  Maybe I’m a wildflower .
. .
It would make sense, seeing as my spirit is as free
as the wind that blows the petals across the fields of green.
I am a wildflower.
I am the flower, firmly rooted to the ground, unable to escape.
My roots, they are tangled, and mangled, and torn, and broken,
but strong . . . they refuse to move.
Like chains, they keep me here where the seed was planted.
I am a wildflower,
trapped in a garden of weeds . . .
none of them wildflowers.  We are not meant for the garden.
Oh no! Not when there are fields, and pastures, and valleys, and
hills, and mountains out there.
Here in the garden, we get food and water, and daily care.  But
there in the world!
That is where I am meant to be!  When I see the birds flying
overhead I shake with jealousy.
I feel the wind swaying me back and forth, as if it is calling
me.  “Come with me, oh sweet wildflower.  Let the world see your
beauty, while you see the beauty of the world.”
I want to touch the mountains.  I want to sing with the sky.  I
want to hear the wind saying,
“Look, I told you it was beautiful.”  I want to dance with it,
as it carries me everywhere.

i can't dive right in anymore-
i gave up baby steps
when i thought life
was about taking chances,
but i take it back

i can't do this anymore

i need somebody to guide me slowly
so i don't choke,
because i'm terrified of drowning now
after all the times i've been
held under for too long

(thank you for knowing this
and keeping me afloat)

Once upon a dainty hill
sat old castle of a young king
not busied by ***** thrills
but in the realm, fair Muse did sing

sorry as such
to trouble you sire
but farmer, lady and great squire
are, unto you, to enquire
how it is the sun makes such fire

to this the young king
furrowed his brow
and scratched his chin
and pondered how

eight days did pass
and woe betide
the pressing question
found no bride

the elders of the castle old
let fairy tales of disorder unfold

a great dragon they say
lit the sun
after finding itself lost
and on the run
from a shadow giant
of world unseen

but the tales of course
were all but dreams.

A little voice
filled the air
with light and weightless
soulful flair

a blacksmith's girl
of simple dress

excuse me sir
i must confess
this minor stir
has caused me stress

the young king bade her speak
and with that, the child weak
stood atop a wonky box
with certain eyes and wavy locks

dear people
i now must say
that it is on this cold and fateful day
my mind has led to such dismay

as I have learned to trust none of you.