I have two constant companions.
Though they've been there through everything,
No other two souls are more determined to drag me under.
Who are they?
One is named Anxiety.

Anxiety is a small green and brown monster,
Perched on my shoulder,
Whispering in my ear,
A list of everyone and everything I shoould fear.
Immobilizes me,
Suffocates me,
Choking me out and knocking me down.
Feeding on my fear,
Anxiety grows larger and larger,
Until I am the one on it's shoulder.
Whispering in their ear,
Begging,
Please stop...

The other is named Depression.
A jealous mistress indeed,
Depression keeps me under lock and key,
Blinds me until she's all I can see.
If she suspects that I start wander,
If she deems me unfaithful,
i am pulled down.
Smothered.
Suffocated.

My two constand companions:
Anxiety and Depression.
One, all consuming darkness,
The other,
Mortal paralyzation.
Both hell-bent on destroying me.

Safety. Comfort. Stability.
These things, like my life, are all up in the air.
They are a shiny red balloon,
Floating way up high.
I am the child,
Jumping higher and higher,
Trying to grasp it while it floats away.

Higher and higher,
Helium dreams,
Drifting into the clouds,
Showing no signs of stopping.

The child in me is stubborn,
Refusing to let go,
Refusing to give up,
Throwing a tantrum.
The child in me wants her balloon.
My helium dreams.

Touch me.
I won't shatter,
I won't explode.

Run your fingers through my hair.
I'm not brittle,
I won't break.

Hold me close,
Ignore the tears,
Just hold me.

It's been so long,
Since I've been touched.
So long since I've been loved.
Touch me,
Hold me,
Run your fingers through my hair.

I won't shatter,
I'm not brittle,
Just hold me.

Fresh blanket,
Cold snap,
Peace all around.

With open arms,
The angels on the ground.

Sky glows,
Crimson and orange,
As the sun sets.

One look down,
At the shadows on the snow,
Reminds me that even something so pure,
Is not safe from the dark.

Having the same dream for months.
Single space,
Covered in mist,
Looming,
Covering the ground,
Until I can't even see my own feet.

You appear out of nowhere,
Like an apparition,
Walking on the mist.

Face turned a way,
Shield of hair.
Fluid movements,
Driping with grace,
Radiating power.

I feel you more,
Closer and closer you get.
I reach for you,
My hands ache for you.
Graze your skin,
Hand closes around your wrist,
And you vanish,
Leaving only a feeling of emptiness,
An air of sadness in your wake.

And t it changes,
Sadness turns to fear.
Then comes the dread,
The feeling of knowing;
Knowing that none can protect you here.

Dark figure approaches,
Clothed in evil,
Masked in temptation.
Part of me wants to run,
Part of me wants to embrace.

The mask subsides,
Only for a moment,
A familiar feeling,
And the recognition of fluid grace.
It's you.

You're gone,
The mist subsides,
And I am awake.

If I was going to commit suicide,
it would probably be in September.
That's the month when everything goes wrong,
When everything falls apart.

It's the month when summer ends,
And it becomes fall.
When alive things die,
And sane people break.

My life always seems to crumble,
Every crack magnified,
Every tear multiplied.

It's like a Green Day song once said,
"Wake me up when September ends..."

Darkness falls,
I feel myslef slipping.
Who am I now?
Who've I become?

Falling,
Slipping,
Reaching,
Scrambling.
Help me!
Somebody, please!
Pull me from the darkness,
Save me from myself.

Night comes
But for me there's no moon,
No stars.
The only silver is the glint of my scars.
No light,
No hope,
Just a blanket of cold.

Someone, please!
Save me from myself...