You don't need
a knight in shining armor.
You need one
who is battered and bruised
but alive and real.
You need a knight
in stained armor.
A shining armor
would mean,
no battles won,
no battles lost,
just a piece of
jewelry
to dress up.
A stained armor
would mean,
battles fought
with bravery,
battles lost
with acceptance,
and most of all
making it through
all of these battles
to be with you.

Don’t Trust
On the far side
Under the diminishing light,
With stars for eyes
We sadly say goodbye

To know you live
My very soul
Is able to survive

On such dark, preposterous lies
Your promise sealed
With your everlasting kiss on my lips
You fed me stings.

I fell into a trap
Of forever sadness
Hidden in a corner whimpered my soul.
A hurting heart with a broken seal
The fear of falling,
cloud my eyes.
To know you exist
I Die.

You love freely
Whereas I am enveloped by a
darkness
that haunts me
and shatters my very soul
as I ache to breathe.
My heart thumps
as my arms flap
and I pull out a single feather
protruding out of my back
A single dark yet soft feather
Heavily light and
nonsense sense
As I fly,
Free.

Liquor
Your lips tasted like liquor
and I was in a drunken abyss.
I took sips that turned into swigs,
and soon enough,
I was intoxicated.
The only difference,
between me and the other drunks;
I knew what I wanted.
You, with you lips of alcohol
and your scent of *******.
And I was addicted
to your body
as your arms encircle me
in a little cage,
on Cloud 9.

No sound escapes me,
but the voices in my head
scream for attention
as my vivid imagination
pictures hurting them,
portrays chopped of pieces of them,
I feel the scream roam
on my lips
and I let my mouth open
and I let all the voices out,
and the quietness disappears,
and with a burst of my lungs
I continue the shrill vocal
on and on and on.

What would I do if my family died?
I would stroll by the beach
and let waves swallow me.
I would sit by the jagged rocks
and wish for the werewolves,
mermaids, vampires to come to
my rescue.
I would take a hand full of the rough sand
and let my tears transform it into a mould.
I would build a sandcastle and let the water
cut through,
exactly like the tears rolling down my freckled face.
Then I would jump from the cliff,
the dive funerial, graceful and almost glad
like the splash of water that hit the rocks
one last time.

He kissed her
her lips were air
and he was breathless
she feels home
not with four walls
but two eyes
and a heartbeat
they were two flowers
drifting into a
fading horizon
entwined delicately
free from hurt and pain
Just free from the demons

Like a fire in Satan’s lair,
Fury burned through my insides,
Gnawing at my hair,
It burned those sitting beside.
The lasting hurt and burn,
Flames squeezing out my strength,
Blankets of heat making me churn,
Glares extending their length.
Tormenting dreams enter my mind,
Horrors feed on my life,
Always a new torture for places they find.
Is this my new life
for all those thoughts that push me
on the edge of insanity.
Am I dead?
Am I alive?
I feel anger searing through my veins.
I consume so much hate.
I am numb.
I am lost.
I am in rage.

I stared at the back of your head,
strands of unkempt black hair
sticking out in multiple directions
you turn and immediately my nose is back
in the first page of the book,
it was our first eye contact,
and behind the dusty shelves we shared our first kiss,
out in the snow was our first hug,
and "Romeo and Juliet" was our first date,
an engraving on my necklace was the first gift,
and suddenly,
all of these sensations became our last.

I played with the charcoal pillow on my head,
My greedy fingers refusing to let go of those soft strands,
I stared into the mirror to get the pillow to rest,
When I saw the monster society had created.
A self-centered human being who thought everything nothing,
Her dress must be crisp and no crease should be shown,
Her fingers were polished and there was not a single cuticle out.
But these same fingers used to be so sickly,
Her body covered with marks of a razor’s edge
Her heart bruised with the words of others
And in her painful flashback she remembers the words,
“I am used to it”
I don’t see that pain filled girl in that mirror anymore
I smirk; this is the best for me I thought
And then mirror cracked and my reflection was broken
When I saw the monster society had created was no better than the sickly girl.
I wasn’t accepted by my own soul.

Where are you mon amour?
Where do you lie?
What walls are these
that trap your scented being?
Do your lips not know me
anymore?
Am I no longer your muse?
You loved me.
Remember?

Tell me what you see mon amour,
And I will see them with you
And I will be jealous of the grounds
that you walk on
for they have been touched by
you
Almost like your fingers tucking a lock of
hair behind my ear.
Remember?

I envy the places you have envisioned
for they have the privilege
to stay
in your mind,
and become a part of your life.
Almost like I once was.
Remember?

Speak to me and
my ears be yours;
to hear your heart’s calming
lyre, and the enchantment
cast by your own words.
Almost like the sense of static
on our first kiss.
Our first kiss was truly bliss
Remember?

Come back and be forever mine,
because if poison were to end me now
My heart would rather it be you, mon amour.
You are my vice, but also my guide
along this endless tunnel of darkness
with the apparent ending filled with light.
Almost like that stage I went through.
That moment in life were all my insecurities
spilled over the glass of my life
and I succumbed to the darkness
that befell my soul.
But as my light,
my fallen angel,
You helped me get over.

But we are separated
and these whips of division
slash at my empty yet longing heart,
which was once filled with
an overabundance of your
strokes in my hair,
kisses on my lips,
cups of tea with your scent
mixed in the atmosphere.
Almost like your arms bringing me home,
with my head on your heart and
the lasting sense of belonging.
Remember?

Could you love me at once?
The way you do in my dreams,
Lying on the viridescent growing tendrils of grass
The beat of your heart being my lullaby
Your fingers strumming my side
as I took a deep breath from the nook of your neck
The redolence of earth dimmed as your cologne
marked me as yours.
Your fingers slide to my cheek,
caressing the skin dotted with freckles,
connecting the pattern they made.
My content sigh
tickled your ear, making you laugh.
A gust of wind blows my hair all over your face,
the fingers leave my cheek and settle in my hair.
Playing with the ebony strands
shuffling them, I stare into your umber eyes
and your lips descend to mine
claiming me gently.
Could you love me like that in reality?

The gold chain rests on the nape of my neck
and being unbuckled,
slowly slithering down till the swell
of my breast. Resting right at
the tip of my heart.
A swish of my hand to get the chain
and steadily it settles in the valley like the sands
in a calm river of desire,
Another move and the river with its sand is
going out to the flat expanse of my stomach
and spreading out into the ocean.
I catch the chain as it falls out the shirt
an added charm of pleasure it felt.

When you say kiss
Your lips are what I miss
And years could pass in a spur
Your first touch could never be a blur.
Hazel, pink, black
Your colors are now what I lack.
I am yours...

Oh, how I am attracted to oblivion.
My hands reach out
to embrace oblivion,
to embrace feeling numb,
and
to embrace freedom.

My eyes close
to follow no direction,
to swim in dark depths,
and
to be in the unknown of known.

I am not depressed
but a mere curiosity
of what's on the other side,
of what's after oblivion,
and finally
of what is oblivion?

Around those almond eyes
Onto the eyelash
A black abyss for the drop to rest on
Blink!
And it’s rolling on your cheek
Ending at a intricate petal
Whose extending end turns to form a smile.
But that petal withers
Like a downhill fall of a desert dune
The dry air she tumbles past
The eroding sand filling her dying heart
Her mouth closed
Refusing to scream, to struggle as she lies in the blowing dust
Suffocation, as she is covered by the mourning winds
She lays there lifeless… her tears now dried up.

At first the rain fell
So wide and deep
I climbed up the hill to reminisce
the dew that forms
on the flowers,
giving a new meaning
but this rain changed from blue to black
and left,
nothing.

My hand reached out
to grab
to touch
to feel
to know
you are right next to me.
My faced rolled sideways
to glance
to memorize
to communicate
to smile
only to be peppered with kisses.
It reminded me of a butterfly's powdery wings
as your lips skim my skin.
Suddenly you pull the bed cover above us
building a fort, reminiscing on our childhood memories.
I sit up
to stare
to admire
your naked chest.
I crawl towards you
to snuggle
to sit
on your lap.
Then,
you drifted away
to beyond
to the dark
to chaos
to hurt
but you were just a particle of my imagination.
Whom I was falling deeply for.

I could keep my eyes open
and dream of you,
I could wait all night to
meet you in the morning,
I could let out giddy giggles
as you talk to me,
I could smile all day long
because you think I am beautiful,
I could sit on my plush bed
and just imagine you next to me,
I could wishfully think my lips
get a taste of your everyday,
I could die when you stare
at the other girls,
I could lose you.

I saw it simmer, threatening to die down.
Flickering as the water fed on its essence,
But it didn’t die and the bluish orange continued to the edge of the paper
And on to the lining of the toilets water, raising my fear of its end.
It never stopped moving steadily to the very corner giving out a darkness and a pungent burning coal smell to fulfill my atrocious purpose.
The flames grew a brighter orange that diminished the blue as they came at the paper’s corner,
I gave up hope, there was no more of the orange or blue.
There were no more flames and my motive was left unfulfilled.
Those last flames that elevated my desire,
Had it terminated just as fast.
The fire was never able to strip that ****** name off,
It lay there mocking me on the blemished paper.
Even though the blaze had been flushed,
Mine just rose up enough to get me writing this poem.