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379 · Jul 2013
Hope
AR Jul 2013
Heart like stone
Eyes a colourless tone
You put up a hard fight you won
But I still believe there's a chance for you and me
I still have hope that you're my sun
And after all this time
I see your convictions as no crime
A window where we'd sit
A cigarette that's what was lit
So give me hope through this dark patch that there will be light
And that you'll remember the winter we fell and you'll hold me tonight
Comforted by you skin and by your smell
The tattoo on your ribcage my fingers know only too well.
367 · Mar 2015
Last Promise
AR Mar 2015
"I promise"* and "on your life" were some of your more favoured lines
I'd heard them over and over for two years - so many times

And of course i believed you, every ******* word you'd said
So why am i lying here alone, by myself, in this bed?

The last promise you made me was on paper, with jet black ink
A message in a bottle the words i struggle to recall - to think

So painful to remember yet so hard to forget
You promised to stay by my side from the 1st day we met

That was your last promise inscribed on white sheet
To bad you turned out to be a liar, a coward -
a ******* cheat.

*A.R.
362 · Aug 2014
7 days
AR Aug 2014
It's been seven days since we last spoke
And those words were rarley kind
That Monday i told you I hated you
That Monday you told me love  was blind.

Since then I've tried replacing you
Blocking you from my being
However no matter how hard i try  
If i close my eyes it's your face I'll be seeing.

I like to keep my poetry short and sweet
The same with my affair
But you effected me so abudently
I think of you more than I'd like to share.

So please, even though we no longer speak
Do not think that you're gone for good
I wish that Monday had never happened
If I could change these seven days,
I would.
361 · Jul 2013
Mayhill
AR Jul 2013
I allow my eyes to roam where the clouds and hills meet
Far across the country is where my thoughts fleet

Somewhere in the distance my memories lie with you
As I sit here on Foley bench I wonder if you think of me too

There's something about this place beneath the 99 pine trees
I think I hear your voice beckoned by the breeze

I wonder where you are and I hope that you're alright
I hope that your happy and that your smiling again tonight.
Me and my boyfriend wrote this on top of Mayhill together
361 · Aug 2015
Taciturnity
AR Aug 2015
The only one by my side was my shadow
and my only comfort therefore was my mind
Too much distress I wanted to voice and let go of -

but my mouth thought it too selfish a crime.
356 · Jul 2017
Serendipity
AR Jul 2017
I am grateful you existed
For a short time in my life.
Teaching me guys can be selfless
Showing me boys can be kind.

I am thankful for the new experiences
That I got to share with you.
You taught me many a lesson
And made many a dream come true.
Like pottery and Paris
Pic n mix and Polaroids.
Also birthdays and BBQs
Brunch and bike rides.

I am appreciative of your patience
Even when I was too hard to love.
I will remember you as a beautiful coincidence
That now I can let go of.
354 · Jul 2018
Edinburgh
AR Jul 2018
I left my love locked on a wired fence
Engraved for all to see
I left my love in the castle on the hill
And inside the national art gallery

On cobbled streets
And in tartan shops
Near a cafe down a winding lane
I reminisce about fancy food
And broken bathtubs
Nostalgia, continuously feeding my pain
353 · Feb 2019
Wish you were here!
AR Feb 2019
I am a frequent visitor of Rock Bottom
Let me tell you it's one hell of a place
From the moment your eyes open in the morning
Hopelessness greets you with a smile on its face

Some of my visits are shorter than others
A long weekend, maybe a night or two
But no matter the length of the visit
The same activities are always waiting for you

We start the day with some deep over-thinking
By lunch its time to continuously cry
Evening is full of self hatred
Come nightfall you stop asking the question "why?"

The environment is less than appealing
The reviews state: dull, dreary, cold and grey
The views only get sadder and bleaker
The longer one decides to stay

Even though the visit is awful
And the experience is less than OK
One can't help but return to Rock Bottom
Each time life turns to utter disarray.
AR Jul 2018
"You know if you dislike people?
That stops you growing as a person."
345 · Jul 2015
Sentimentality
AR Jul 2015
When enough time has passed to be able look back
back before, and leading up to what I now write
back to the blossoming beginning before the inevitable end
back to when all my time on you I would spend

Reflecting on days quickly wasted and nights far to prolonged
prolonged memories not quickly enough forgotten in mind
prolonged feelings that never cease to leave me, to end
prolonged ideas of how our relationship I thought I could mend

The sad reality of it all is nobody is really yours to keep -
it's just your turn and I've learned actions, emotions and talk are all cheap.
334 · Jun 2013
Untitled
AR Jun 2013
Im just a notch in your bed post
But your just a line in a song
334 · Jun 2013
Nostalgia
AR Jun 2013
I met a boy once
Who told me he was lonely
So I kept him safe from harm
He was broken lacked emotion
And made my world fall apart
The only solution was to loosen
The bond that we shared
We don't speak but its hard to keep
My emotions for him unaware.

*- A.R
333 · Dec 2014
Unrequited
AR Dec 2014
I used to wonder what it felt like;
To love someone so completely, so honestly,
so fully that they left stains on my soul
and crumpled creases in my brain.

Instead I receive tear stains on my face
crumpled creases in my hands.
Lies torn off the paper.

You wanted to explain why you did the things you do,
say the stuff you say and act the way you act.
But -

I need not know.
Sometimes puzzled look better scrambled,
mirrors better cracked
and a heart better cold.
333 · Oct 2015
Worn
AR Oct 2015
You are the book I have read over and over
The book with the ripped pages, the cracked spine
I can't say I remember every word, sentence, or chapter
But I can still recall that final line.
327 · Nov 2014
Collaboration of Words
AR Nov 2014
Start again, pick it up
The relationship? Poison in our viens

You have a beautiful brain
But my god, those drugs aren't heaven and don't help

When we met - fire blazing
Now? Dead.
End.

I left your life.
You left my heart.

*Will I be hearing your voice again?
326 · Aug 2015
A Void
AR Aug 2015
I wanted to write poetry
About how I felt inside

But the pen remained untouched
The ink left alone
The paper, empty

And then I realised
That was exactly how I felt.
323 · Jun 2015
Forgotten
AR Jun 2015
I think you've forgotten my name
or at least my smile my face
because the girl you run to isn't me,
she's someone who took my place

I think you've forgotten my love
the way we'd stay up all night
because the girl in front of you isn't me,
She's someone who makes us fight

I think you've forgotten my words
I gave you everything my all
because the girl you speak of isn't me,
She's someone you run to when you fall

I know you've forgotten your promises
the way you'd look at me and say I have nothing to fear
because the boy who promised me this has gone,
In his place a boy whose feelings are very unclear.
311 · Jun 2015
Water
AR Jun 2015
Waiting for you love is like waiting for an ocean to empty.
It will take forever and it will never happen.
There are far too many gallons of water, just like our gallons of problems.
And we will drown in them before they are solved.
The ocean has plenty of fish and it makes me sad you still wish to explore it, when I am here waiting for you to want me...
You linger in the shallow waters, afraid to take the plunge. Afraid of what may be waiting for us in it's unknown depths.
Yet I am here, I am in the deep end waiting.  I don't know how long I can keep treading water for you.
Please, don't allow me to sink...
302 · Apr 2015
Submerged
AR Apr 2015
You always loved the sea
and maybe thats why  as i stare into the seas blue abyss -
you’re on my mind.

I go through waves of missing you
each wave bringing a new heart ache -
today the way you’d always speak your mind.

We thought we’d have floods of time
thats the thing about the ocean -
it brings floods that destroy,  just like you destroyed my heart
and drowned my mind.

*A.R
297 · Nov 2014
I
AR Nov 2014
I
I want to be better.
I want to be more.
I want to be pretty.
I want to be sure.

I want to travel.
I want to fly.
I want to love.
I want to try.

I have to succeed.
I have to strive.
I have to live.
I have to thrive.

I will be good looking.
I will be free.
I will be skinny.
I will be me.

I feel very unimportant.
I feel very low.
I feel very insignificant.
All this i can't show.
291 · Sep 2014
Enough
AR Sep 2014
Enough.**

It isn't enough for you to speak words but deny me actions
to tell me your lies and sustain from affections
I glare into your eyes, they show nothing at all
spent a year trying so hard -- to just watch it fall.
260 · May 2017
Dwell
AR May 2017
There are too many thoughts of recent, that fester within my mind
Ruminating over a chapter in life that has long been left behind
Stuck in a timeless cycle, stuck clinging inside my insides
Nostalgia washing up dangerous debris over and over on my memories tides

Peaceful from the outside but great explosions from within
A ticking time bomb of confusion appears to sink and settle in
Reminiscent of some past years, that I struggle to believe where even real
Left with an unpleasant echo, a hazy voice, a distant embrace that I still very much feel.
AR Sep 2017
I sit in one of our many local pubs
Sipping on strong cheap coffee
reading a damaged book, from a second hand bargain bin.

I don't look up much, I don't desire the opinions of others -
watching a young woman sat alone in a bar.
On the occasions that I do, I see couples and groups giggling idly in the late evening sun.

In my head I create my own version of their stories
who they are; where they've been.
I imagine they have lead a rich and fulfilled life, but
Reality?

Each a small city dweller, engulfed by the swollen population and streets scorched reputation.
Never to escape.
239 · May 2017
Trace
AR May 2017
I lived on the words you wrote me.  On my back at 2 a.m.
237 · Aug 2017
Time & Distance
AR Aug 2017
I wish I had the right words
To tell you how I feel.
They'd be beautiful and raw -
And be exactly what you need to hear.
Rather than all the silence
And the ticking of a clock.
Telling us how much time and distance -
Is passing, whilst no one says a word.
237 · Jul 2017
R
AR Jul 2017
R
I walked into a room today -
Where someone had sprayed your Cologne.
It took me back to being in one of your three bedrooms, watching you light a cigarette or dress into your favourite joggers and flip flops.  

I could smell your skin again, I could smell home.

I stayed there for a few minutes too long, caught up in my own thoughts of what seems to be a lifetime ago, perhaps it was.
I thought of endless beach days and cooking lessons.
I envisioned dark chocolate eyes and unfinished tattoos, I remembered silly nicknames and secret sensitive spots.

But then my nose got used to the rooms fragrance -
and just like that again, you were gone.
AR Jun 2018
“You know
life can be sad sometimes.
And once you get past the sad
it's medium.
And once you get past the medium
well -
then it's magic.”
223 · Jun 2018
Ashtray
AR Jun 2018
I think I smoke to remember,
There's something about holding a cigarette between my lips
that keeps the memory of you alive.
You are with me on every inhale -
Escaping my grasp when I finally breath out.

— The End —