AprilDawn

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Grief rides with me
wherever I go,
whether I walk
around the house
in my jammies,
read a poem
to a group
of strangers,
or watch a flower bud
burst open-
each breath knows
what use to be
will not come back.

Written in 2006.Raw moments while still processing my loss.

#griefwork

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Bittersweet Ache

still binds me
to your love
frayed
but never
completely
torn

written 2005

#heartache

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Sad Cookie

Soggy sorrow's
bittersweet bite
nibbles my spirit
ever so slightly
a nip here
a nip there
crumbled
I remain
upon
dry lips

This poem is actually a dramatization of our hound's quest to retrieve a soggy oatmeal raisin cookie out of our outdoor in ground hot tub in Texas one warm March evening .We were hot tubbing and snacking on sandwiches and cookies , and being careful that she didn't get any of the food .When she decided to jump into the hot tub with my daughter holding the cookie. Rescue efforts ensued as she scratched and clawed to not drown . We got her out of the hot tub unscathed and soaking wet, but we also had to put down the cookie. She got out of the tub and swooped up that last soaked crumb we had set aside to rescue her !

#sillyhoundescapades

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Sometimes

I feel savage
inside
unrestrained ferocity

gnaws
at my spirit
every cell
has to
wrestle
being devoured alive
by lost hopes
that go bump in the night
When Hate
stabbed
the light of day .

I am not prone to fits of anger, while I do get angry , these emotions were an intense grieving anger . I wrote it in 2005, it is all about the how& why my husband of nearly twenty years dying made me feel so powerless , so sad and so lost.

#victimized

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Stage Fright

Look at me
but not too close
you'll see lines
you'll see my pain
you'll see I was loved
you'll see my fear
you'll see my coffee drinking habits
when I smile in your direction
Look at me
but not too close
you'll see I loved someone
you'll see I lost someone
you'll see my broken heart
Look at me
but not too close
I am aging while we speak
so are you
but I've got the head start
Look at me
but not too close
and see my laughter
bubbling up
from deep inside
and here's hoping I don't snort !

My speech class when I went back to college in 2005. I was only one of two over 35 year olds...

#exitstageleft

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Pansies

make a great pillow
for
tired dog butts.

An observation of the past two dogs I owned. If there was patch of pansies , they would plunk down right on them !

#botanicalseating

AprilDawn Apr 2014

Leaving Rita Behind

Impending fury
clings
to closed eyelids
palpable loss
a sable brush
dunked in dread
blackens every inch
of familiar landscape
what if’s
eat through
the static blue horizon
making a meal
of unborn dreams
slaked only by
hastily grabbed
history
ragged spirits
haul hope
on well- worn tar
safe haven
still pages away

Sept 2005...this would be Hurricane Rita. Lived in the Houston area and this was on the heels of the hurricane Katrina that took out New Orleans .Our first evacuation after having lived there for 3 years .Trying to get the house ready for heavy storm winds, maybe flooding and picking out what was essential to take in case our home was destroyed became a daunting task.Scary, but our area was not hit.

#chased