I hate that I love you
I hate that when you show up my heartbeats faster
I hate that I can't get over you
I hate you
I hate that you don't return my feelings
I hate this life
I hate me
for living in a fantasy
I love you
for bringing me back to reality

you know my name
not my story
you've heard what I've done
not what I've been through

there's a time that i remeber
when I used to belive in forever
now my heart feels like December
everytime I think of you

It happens when life gets in my way,
that words in my head won't reach my hand,
they linger and fly away again,
on the soft breezes of hope and make-believe.

I never stopped making poems.
I only stopped writing them down
in the moments of silence, which have
become so scarce these days.

Tonight I've locked all windows.
I like to say that I put a pen in my hand,
but would you have believed that,
in these times of keyboards and touch screens?

So I sit here, staring at my screen and
slowly, very slowly my brain-hand coördiation
is gearing up, but it's like opening a rusty tap,
all that comes out is a bit of brownish water.

if you want to die
I won't stop you
even if I did
you wouldn't understand
Since the very thought
of wanting to die
is irrational
so why would you think
rationally

I know I'm hurt
the wounds have healed
but
it burns
I swear
it feels like it was yesterday
believe me
please
heal me
it
it hurts

Love
is patience
when the summit seems far
eventually
you‘ll get there
gaze at the stars
in wonder
as you did
all the way up

toads poetry
and trees autobiographies
about chance meetings with odd visitors
near-death encounters
miraculous recoveries
the miracle of family
and those dawns of sweet peace

one can only speculate  however
how our human characters would appear
in this down-to-earth writing

there being a shortlist
a very slim list actually
of heroes to choose from

I'm ready to forgive you
but forgetting is a harder fight

do I really have to
get down
on my knees
and beg you to let me go

I'm praying, for closed doors and open windows
I'll follow where the wind blows
don't be scared to leave

if I'm not all you need
then please let me be free
I'm down on my knees

Hunger gnaws
as my stomach eats
its lining and air;
I swallow water and weigh my bones,
sculpt a smile, color my hair.

Starved till cadaverous ~
I fade each day, a silent scream;
a message that fails to deliver.

I learned to love
but not too deep
I yearned for attention
but I learned to keep away from it
I've learned to live
doesn't mean I have forgotten the pain

tell me where I should go
to the left
where nothings right
or the right
where there's nothing left

he said I'll show you the entire world
give you everything the world has to offer
I wasn't born yesterday
so don't f**k with me
this world has nothing offer
no you have nothing to offer

I tell myself
I don't need anyone
but the truth is
no one needs me

the sunsets
the moon rises
the clouds keep moving
the stars keep shining
the world keeps going on
people keep dying
people are born
someone smiles
someone cries
it all happens
and there's nothing you can do about it

life is to short to
waste it confined
somewhere you don't want to be
with people you dislike

The light post held on the high road
was found to create dents into the
veil of darkness.

That comes into play when the sky
is emptied of the moon and the starry
dots because of the black cloud.

But when the summer arrived for the tree
canopies to gain in thickness much enabled
to hide the body of light, the light post could
not pierce the veil of darkness.

Although you could still the music made
by the morning bird to soothe the mind and
heart.

you brought me up
                    little
         by
little
then you broke me down
little
          by
                 little

little girl plays on swings
waiting for them
those who abandoned her
but they never come
so she fades away
to dust

he said
there's nothing more I can do
I'll just die

I said
you can do anything
as long as you're alive
so live

this world is temporary
the money
it won't be in our graves
our possessions will be left behind
so live your life
fully
while you can

a lonely ghost
wanders by the coast
with the ocean view, he's obsessed
in ***** white, he's dressed
he's got, friends
but their lives have reached their ends
so he's a lonely ghost
nothing less
nothing more

looking back, it's crazy
I almost turned into
the person people told me I should be

is there a difference between
love and hate
there is
but in the end, it's just an emotion
and feelings change

love always ends miserably
someone dies
so I'll never love
since I have loved
and lost

you've never deeply fallen for someone,
have you?
sweet and happy romances are
easily forgotten
only love stories
with blood and tragedy are remembered

Have you heard of midnight miracles?
Demons gaze upon a forlorn realm to find remnants of hope.
Frightened Lambs turn into lions.
Spirits of life sing hymns of death.
Once your slumber is lost,
Your soul can never be found.

somedays I wake up
I just wanna hide wanna under the covers
cause no matter what I do
ill never be like all the others

we were all afraid
of monsters
until we grew up
and became them

m-emories of the year past
o-n a day of new beginnings
n-odding head off to silent sleep
t-humbs congealed within the wintry chill
h-ours went by to the new year

o-ut the sheets
f-allen to the side

j-ust awaken from wintry slumber
a- crowd of children ran across streets
n-eighbors greet each other of the new day
u-nder the icicle drenched oak branches
a- cardinal chirped its lonesome song
r-elishing the piercingly fresh air
y-esterday's death, today's first breath

live a short life
where you are happy from year to year
my dear,
live a short life
where your path is crystal clear
my love,
explore the world with me
in a while, we will meet above

alive
I cry

in my grave
I scream

in hell
it's so silent

in heaven
I hear their laughter

My heart is a traitor
it takes my blood
and beats for you!

Many a'night I've groaned like a wounded
Lion scaring my own shadow and
Left myself boneheaded
against the wall I dragged my feet
In ruins that wedded my grief,

Then I turned around;
could that be you soul brother Holding?
the rope so tight beneath my chin against this iroko's root,
My blood bleeding with tears,
I screamed but only my soul heard me.

But then came me that broke the shackles,
I redeemed my being!
The droplets upon my eyelids now taught me;
You were just a DREAM!

my nightmare need not rest
since they are just my sad reality
I guess its another test
given by life
learn to love live lie
now the rest
is up to fate

I'm only a nightmare
you wake up and I'm not there

when I read what you wrote
I realized
I'm not the only one who feels this way
there are other people like me out there
I'm not alone
I was trapped in darkness
and you all became my light
so I'll treasure you
I'm afraid of losing more than I've already lost