do my messy words leaving through the ink mean anything to you?

do those hanging commas I use,
add any mystery to you?

you say those words are good,
but why do they seem so fake and unrealistic?

do those words make you feel
surreal and not real?

those words are pure fiction;
you say, but really are they?

I say I'm lost, you say I'm fake.
what road am I then supposed to take?

some say it's okay to be lost,
some say it's not.
some say being lost in the world is wrong,
some say being lost in your world is right.

who am I supposed to listen,
when these letters are haunting me?

these words are my diary
screaming out loud,
what I feel,
what I do.

you say it's fiction,
I say it's not.
fantasies can't exist,
but miracles can.
my words are not just fantasies,
my experiences are not just experiences.
they're a story for masses
to tell;
miracles do exist.

I believe they do.
but you let me push you away,
with every time you show,
my words are just words
telling me they don't mean anything.
I refuse to believe so.
words aren't just words,
but emotions.
they don't get scribbled to be just words,
they're stories.

could it be a miracle,
when you actually believe,
these messy words
with hanging commas,
really do mean?

Bones will heal, bruises will fade.
But time can’t heal the hurt words made.
My innocence, I won’t get back.
I used to smile…
They took my kindness for my weakness.
Physical, emotional, cyber and verbal.
Numb to all the pain,
People have caused.
I try to ignore,
Every single word they speak.
But the words hurt me
like bee’s sting.
Can’t I ever get immune to the pain?
Oh dear bully!
You tell me I’m worthless and that I’m a nothing,
but I say the same things to myself without your prompting.
I hate that I can’t stand up to you.
Can’t this ever end?
Cause I am so done,
Thinking that maybe,
One day, everything will change.

Maybe...we are not meant to be together,
Maybe, we are not as rich as they are,
Maybe we're not enough.
Maybe we're better-off alone.
Maybe, we are perfect strangers.
Maybe we are supposed to meet the wrong people,
Maybe we are satellites!
Maybe we're meant to think wrong.
We are the lucky ones?
Maybe we're friends, maybe more?
Maybe we are all cabinets of wonder.
Maybe we're each others soulmates?
Maybe we're from the same star.
Maybe...

You put so many restrictions on her,
On one side, you said,
Be free, be yourself
On the otherside, you showed,
What she is supposed to be.

You allowed her to be the free bird,
Still kept her in the ropes,
You didn't know you caged her,
But she was caged,
The caged bird.

Caged Bird Screaming,
Who heard her?
She lost herself,
in the chaos.

Lonely feeling strikes me all day,
They thought I'm sick,
But what could I say?

Lonely feeling made me a devil,
They thought all I was insane,
But could I show?

Lonely feeling killed me dream,
They thought I wanted attention,
But did they hear my scream?

Lonely feeling overpowered me,
They thought I was tired,
But did they see my scar?

There you always stood beside me,
Helped me with my studies where you could,
Sat by my side,
12/48= 1/4
You helped me with maths.
I sat by your side,
100/100= 1
Number 1 is my daddy.
Happy Birthday Daddy.