maybe we are meant to meet the wrong people;
maybe we weren’t mean to be.
maybe we’re just satellites;
maybe reality is just made up of me.
maybe i am the lucky one;
maybe my heart is just numb to you.
maybe we’re nothing and my love is hatred.
maybe you'll leave me alone.

define, for me, truth
of the absolute variety,
and then maybe
i will reconsider
my moral standings.
BUT.
(in the meantime)
do not speak on
what you do not know.
open your mind!
to let new ideas flood it
like a house in a valley
after a torrential downpour.
you say "you won't get far
with THAT attitude"-
and to that i say
"WATCH ME."
i'll be flying a mile high
while you watch from below;
eyes wide with shock,
jaw open on the ***** ground.
tell me,
how does that taste?

whatever happened to communication?
i'm trying to speak to you
wanting to get through to you
and what do you do?
ignore me.
that hurts.
maybe it isn't intentional,
and i know i'm overly-emotional,
but don't put me on the sidelines when i speak to you,
not in the middle of a conversation i'm trying to have with you.
when i'm trying to help you, trying to have you...
i just feel so ignored.
i just feel so...
lonely when you don't speak to me.
it's a lack of communication causing separation
and it makes me feel like my life's wasted
when all you do is forget me here.
well... it's all i can do to say i love you
and that i hope you come back, i really do,
and i'm doing all that there is to do
to get you here, to be closer to you.
that's what i'm trying to do
through this lack of communication.

i don't want your traditions
to tell me what i cannot do.
i can make my own decisions;
if you love me, you'll trust me, too.
i don't want your religion
to keep me from what i feel's true.
what a terrible affliction,
to be blinded by virtue.

i've gambled away my heart one too many times.
i've trusted the waves of chance one too many times.
i've tried to right my wrongs one too many times.
oh, i've tried to live a perfect life one too many times.

oh, how i've tried, tried to be accepted.
but instead, my effort, you've rejected.
i don't even know why, oh why,
i even tried one too many times.

one too many times, oh,
one too many times.
one too many times.

i'm green with envy toward the trees
of a dark, deep, peaceful forest
who grow and blossom and lose their leaves
and lay themselves to rest.
i'm jealous of the wildflowers,
so young and free and infinite,
who sprout and bloom in the midst of June,
as if there's nothing to it.

release me,
release me,
set wild my dreams
and release me.
open up my eyes to see
the adventure right in front of me
and release me.

whipping winds,
warm sunbeams,
everything just as it seems.
hearts full of love,
working through fear,
you with me, my dear.

release me, you son of the earth and of the sins and the guilt of my past.
i can't bear to speak or to look at you.
and i'm no longer stuck on you.
all i wanted was for you to come to me.
all i wanted was for you to love me like i loved you once.
once.
but no more.
there is still a twinge of a spark in my soul,
but you're already quick to put it out.

why did
a high school senior,
MY FRIEND,
get diagnosed with
stage four
bone cancer
that's spreading
to his lungs?
tell me the answer
and i'll tell you
it's ridiculous
and unfair
and difficult
to comprehend.
leave me alone
while i sulk
and prepare
to lose him:
my old debate partner,
my old friend.
why is the question
without answer.