I would wade in the deep end,
And stop swimming.
But something made me float.

I would imagine turning the wheel,
Crashing into the ditch.
But something left me on the road.

I’ve been broken.
I cracked,
But no one could tell.

My spirit shattered.
I lived my life,
Wanting to die.

But the heartbreak,
I would leave behind,
Kept me alive.

When I text you it takes longer to reply because I get nervous
a good nervous
and my thumbs like to dance across the keys
and press random letters
Then i have to start every word over
Even now thinking about it it's happening

Drunk is a word someone would come up with when they're drunk.
It's a drunk word.

Every one of you had every opportunity to see me.
I wasn't hiding,
locked away behind doors in a jail cell.
If you wanted to see me,
all you had to do was walk up the stairs.
The door was wide open.
It still is.

Words aren’t said easily
They don’t pour from my veins
Sounds don’t form on my lips
I don’t take a breath then say something smart and witty
I take a breath then attempt to socialize
To survive a conversation I should be glad to partake in

But with words on paper it’s a conversation with pen I am happy to have
I take a breath and my thoughts just flow
I don’t take a breath and hold my tongue
Sounds of a different world blare in my mind
They flow then pour out through my veins

Words aren’t said easily
But they can be written beautifully

Water pulls me under
I'm drowning
Every loss ties me to another anchor
There's no way back up
Down here there's no air
Trapped in a nightmare
But I'm not dreaming at all
Everything is gone
But nothing is wrong
This is how it's supposed to be
In the end not you
But me suffocating

When I breathe I’m alive
Again and again,
But I’m not living
Days pass by and I show all the signs
No one seems to notice
I hide in the darkest part of my mind
Where my demons tell me the things
That nearly convince me to throw everything away
There’s one voice though,
That’s not a demon.
That’s why I’m still here today.