anna victoria

anna victoria Aug 2014

drunk.

alcohol was my only escape.
you ruined that too.
i can't even forget without remembering now.
i hate you.

anna victoria Aug 2014

The night you took it, we were drunk off our *****.
It was a mistake. I should have never trusted you.
It was the best night of my life, and the worst.
I regret it, or maybe I'm just upset that you never called.
For you it was just ***.
For me, it was my first.
18 year build up.
You made me feel special and good.
All night. All day. Nonstop.
Joking. Laughing. Kissing. Cuddling.
You took a picture on my phone,
You said I was the most beautiful girl.
Shouldn't have listened.
All the things you said,
Been running through my head.
Can't stop thinking of you.
How can I miss someone I barely know?
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
I thought you would call.
You never did.
Now all I can think about,
are all my imperfections
That would make you not want me.

anna victoria Aug 2014

The Girl Who Waited

Patience.
Something I had to have with you.
Three years.
1095 Days.
Agonizing.
Pain.
You.
You.
You.
All I could think about.
All day, Everyday
Three years.
1095 Days.
You.
Always You.

anna victoria Aug 2014

Untitled

please dear god, if you're up there, help me.
help me out of this hole.
i can't take this anymore.
i need you.
i need help.

anna victoria Aug 2014

Untitled

To know the pain is the most beautiful curse.
I have seen it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To feel the pain is the most wonderful curse.
I have never hated someone so much.
I see her everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To see the pain is the most perfect curse.
I have never wanted something so bad.
I see it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To taste the pain is the most excellent curse.
I have worked for this.
I see it everyday.
In the mirror.
In the glass.
In the windows that I pass.
To hear their pain is the most horrible curse.
I never meant for this to happen.
I don't see her anymore.
Not in the mirror.
Not in the glass.
Not in the windows I don't pass.
To be in pain is a curse, but to feel nothing is even worse.

#depression

Aug 2014

Hedonic Nihilist

Please Don't Use Me

Please don't make me just a story
Of someone that you scored with
A story to tell on tipsy nights
Or a tally mark

I don't want you to see this, I really don't
Because you think that I half-like you
But the glass is getting full
And I'm tired of being used

Please don't delete my number
I know that women are submissive
But I shouldn't have pretended
That I was only lustful

Please don't get mad when I talk about you to my friends
I don't think it's fair to hold my speech
Please don't think I'm clingy when I say hello
Please don't make me watch my words

#love #***

anna victoria Aug 2014

loyalty

Like a broken arrow, i stray.
Like a loyal dog, you stay.
All the times I'm gone,
You know I'll come home.
You believe in me.
You always,
believe in me.

thank you.