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I am swimming in the infinite darkness in search of an experience,
I don't even want to control my breath to give myself a chance to my physical existence,
Satisfying my thirst with the venture of exploring the depth of those mesmerising enigmatic eyes of yours.
 Jan 2014 Angela Nagisa
GaryFairy
I have a new style with an expectation
expecting to explore my new aspiration
aspiring to seek reward through exploration
exploring words with my brand new cultivation
cultivating a never seen creation
creating something with a new formulation
formulating a rhyme with a different situation
situating words in a fresh new formation
forming myself another publication

This is my brand new style. The rules are strict compared to a regular quantum loop, but still a lot of room for creativity and fun.
 Jan 2014 Angela Nagisa
Sprishya
I write
Because it's the only sanity I know
I lost my mind a long time ago
Between the heartbreaks and one night stands
Somewhere in those drunken nights
I've been trying to find myself
With a drug induced consciousness
And alcohol infused serenity
And the words
The words that forever battle in my head
To just come out raw
The way they are
No sweetness added
Unrefined thoughts
Like **** the world, **** humanity
**** everyone
But then I take a deep breath
Regather my thoughts
Add a little sweetness to it
Then my mind comes up with words
But they're not mine
I lost my mind a long time ago
Back when I was taught to deal with good people
When in reality I was surrounded by none
When I was taught to succeed in life
But not how to deal with failure
About love and happiness
But never about heartbreak and distress
I write
To teach myself
Experiences that I was never taught
Love that I found and lost
To find the sanity that I misplaced
While figuring out the curve ***** life threw at me
When time took away everything that was offered to me
I write
To feel again
What it was like to be me.

(Kathmandu, Nepal 10/15/2013)
 Jan 2014 Angela Nagisa
jimmy tee
dreams are powerful antics
grip you from absolutely no where
then they are gone
baby
gone in a flash

let me sleep uninterrupted
the absence of dreams
is a dream itself

if the obscure is important
we’re ******
a total rewiring is required

capacities are misjudged
at only one step
the one in front of you


Friday, November 1, 2013
It took three seconds for you to shift my universe to lift me
Like a soft breeze under soft falling leaves closer
To a sun lit sky.
It took three months of try after try time after time,
Chasing anxieties with soft sighs, chasing hot gilt
With forgiving eyes .
It took all of my trust mustered together and all your warmth
And golden patience for me to find my worth,
For me to take this new love and give all of what I had left.
It took
A thousand sweet words to heal the hurt that ached within my chest.
And time , it always took time.
For me to give you the best me I thought I would never be again.
I was new and precious ,
coal under pressure deep beneath ground,
Until you dug me out wash me off and found
I glistened, and when I listened I really listened
I loved to hear you talk.
It took
All my patience to love you,  all my endurance to face mistrust
all my strength to recuperate from all the promises you freely made
just to break .
It took all I could give to satisfy what you’d take
it took my everything to feel adequate when the easy way was your only way,
it took perseverance to hear it and try to deny that voice in the back of my mind
And **** it to tell myself that I was worth more than  A friend you had *** with.
It took you to pull me up remember you’d call me your angel?
Well I had to grow wings to move on , the grounds to unstable.
It took you cutting me lose to face the sky willing and able.
It took realizing you were so weak, infantile, and feeble
To believe in the core of me I’m smart strong, capable.
I cry often these days
Silently singing to keep
Away the bad thoughts

In the shower and
In my bed
Walking home when no one sees

I cry often these days
And I think
I think about suicide

And how it could solve
All my problems
Down to the last bone

But I'm too much of
A coward
        No, that's makes you strong

No, can't you see?
I'm crumbling and drying up
        I think your life is just about
             To begin
I'm fighting my inner demons and I'm afraid of who is going to win.
I'm going to run tonight.  
After the sun is down, the moon
has dipped into the starry sky's darkness
and the weekend fire pits are dancing with my shadow.
I'm going to breathe tonight,
deeply of the budding greens and mulching blacks
until my nostrils are painted with earth.  I'll let the sprinklers
drench every inch of my body until
I can flick the water from my hair
and all the world soaks through my chest
so my heart can beat against it.
I'm going to howl tonight,
from the very bottom of my breast with a smile on my face
legs never stopping to catch the air my lungs are surely missing
because tonight, the little boy, the lover, the beast—
tonight— they are the poet.
Left to these eon days.
Welcome to wonderland, I say.
An ethereal eternity in a moments gaze,
To ponder beyond the barriers of time and space.

For a split-second reality flickers;
Beautiful in it's deliverance,
Sublime/oblivious:
Nocturnal firelight on shamanic sands,
Mescaline transcendent communion with the land.
Some daze inspiration takes me.

Suspended here in this celestial haze,
A clairvoyant glance into the eye of the maze.
The cleansing radiance of our empyreal ways;
Left in this aeon daze.
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