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 Dec 2013 Angela Nagisa
Anonymous
I walk in a daze
my eyes glazed
with tears
they just keep
pouring out
I don't know why
A little girl, green eyes so bright,
Wonders if her mother will ever be alright.
The sadness slowly grows upon her innocent face,
As she thinks how her mom got sick in the first place.

She can't take being away from her mother so long.
In her subconscious she knows something is wrong.
Screaming and fighting with her father till she cries.
He finally gives in and takes her for a ride.

The girl, her father, and brothers drive away from their home,
To a new place that gives off a chill and where dead bodies roam.
She walks into the hospital as her heart beats fast,
Knowing soon she will see her mother at last.

The visit goes well as her mother smiles bright,
But her eyes look cold and not filled with green light.
Eyes glide over her mom's pale skin, then looks at her sleeve,
To find her dad cover up tears saying “it's time to leave.”

Screams of terror and tears of sorrow fill the whole floor,
She calls to her mother saying she wants to see her more.
Her mother sheds a tear as she turns her head away,
Whispers “I love you,” hoping to see her another day.

The swelling around her eyes turns red from the dried tears.
Her family leaves L.A., knowing they despise it here.
Months go by, and soon her father won't let her go.
The little girl and her brothers fight, still he says no.

The little girl's world is not what it used to be,
The sky is now black like the dark depths of the sea.
Her grades start falling, but doesn't even care.
The once best student is now going no where.

Her sadness slowly fades as she thinks for a while,
To think what she'll buy for her mom to make her smile.
She buys the presents and wraps them with care,
Hides them somewhere special, so no one can see there.

“Christmas is coming,” she shouts in her head.
Tries to find presents hidden under the beds.
Thoughts about her mother fly in and out her mind,
Thinking of seeing her mother just one more time.

Her dad is not happy, by the look on his face,
Shows no sign of a smile, stares at her and waits.
He slowly walks into a room with very dim light.
She follows him knowing that something is not right.

The girl shows him a smile, but her father says no.
He then tells her a story of sorrow and woe.
The tragic news he tells her, shatters her ears,
She is now blinded by the blurs from her tears.

The little girl's mother is gone, which she cannot believe,
Things like this don't happen on the night before Christmas Eve.
Even though the little girl does not understand,
She knows that her mom will never hold her hand.

As she got older she understood it more,
Why her mother left, this she knows for sure.
This incident that happened was a terrible cause,
But made her stronger and wiser like her mother was.

(Written in 10th Grade)
4:58.
Moon beams.
2 degrees below that line.
Smoke filled the air, almost freezing
In the night air.
Hands shaking, eyes bleeding.
Why?
Avoidance, perhaps? Or solitude of the heart?
Maybe just a craving that can't be fixed by sleep
Or idle dreams.
A habit that never dies.
And I'm not talking about the smoking.

A connection found, and subsequently lost.
The perfection protection,
For that **** young fowl.
Forgotten. Forgiven. Forsaken.
What seemed like of the utmost importance,
Died,
With that night.
Discarded like a bad dream, regarded with nothing,
Not even gratitude.
Selfish?
Maybe.

But we were arm in arm. Striding through the dark.
Half in silence. Half in laughter.
Now he CARVES her heart
With silver pointed adjectives and accusations.
I smoke some green
I lift my soul
I don't give a **** about that gold
That was engrained
Deep into earth
That our mother
Left for us

To worship the stars

But now it's 1500 or so
What the **** is that
It's just a shiney metal
That glistens in the sun
These cats show it off to the moon
They think that they're true
They think that a dollar
Is all that they need to pursue
When in reality
They think a sort of misconstrue


Think of it like this
You hide everything in the blue
Somewhere deep in your mind
call it just your point of the view
Shake up the world
Separate from mankind
You go and break through
Get a million papers
And now what should you go and do


No offense to these cats
My Friends I do not mean to offend
I'm sorry if that is what I do
Its just a word to describe
I can tell you theres a difference

maybe add the letter A
take out the E and the R
and what do you have
a salutation to you
I know it does not offend
Add the E and the R
and now you change the game
I figured i'd explain
before you judge my next words

But they just had to make me do
Go and call them some *******
I just gotta stick to
My specific point of view
For these people go and buy up
Everything they don't need

Call it the gold and the diamonds
All the fancy cars
Lambo and porshs, Mercedes Benz
Maybe the maybach
Wait lemme change of the track
*** I ******* hate rick Ross, Rat?

Now I bounce back
Huge ******* castles
They always gotta buy

But what is the reason
They go to Brazil
South America
France, Amsterdam
They may buy American
But that's just a hassle
*** even the rich know
We should say ******* to
Bank of America, oh and comerica
I can't disclude all the others
Fannie may and Freddie Mac
Jp Morgan chase


You ruined all our lives
Somehow at a ridiculously freaky pace
You said we were safe
Under this corporate structure
But in reality
You just paid off the man
To carry out your schemes
Quote un quote unwritten scams


Look at the middle class
Man where did they go
You see my friends
They have gone and disappeared
But where do they hide
You crazy theory man?
They reside in the suburbs
The former white picket hustle
A dream perceived as escape from the struggle

But in the end
All these banks and these lenders
Created a little trouble

But my friends, by now
You should be all aware
Of the things that they've done
To cause this despair
I won't go on about it
I won't need to explain why


Listen to me and speak with your mind
For if you do
It will stand the test of time

A wiseman named nas
Once told me that
He is a rapper
I should say
He is one of the best
That ever lived

You should give him a shot
Illmatic is dope
You should start from right there
He speaks from his heart
And that's how he got there

back to the gold and the diamonds
all these minerals that keep us down
These other ******
Just talk about ****
******* and dope and money and gold
It's caused by the media
Corporations, now let me go on

We listen to this ****
Because of the dollar
Somehow it got popular
Now it's what we live under

20% is solid
While the rest of it is ****

There's people hidden out there
That are better than this
Support underground music
*** it's ten times better than what we currently have
While what the man thinks is the best
Now we can take back what's ours
The sounds that we hear
Promote your favorite artist

And then you will be in charge of everything that you hear
It's all you can do
Listen to me
Buddha the kid
*Now reread and try to actually comprehend me
Believe in what I am told or what I see
This war is bitter and I aspire to be free
Free from these shackles and discrimination
Free from selective elimination
We call our children mistakes so we can free ourselves of responsibility
And our babies are dying in the streets while we accept no liability
Governed by aggression it’s said that only the strong survive
But instead of showing strength we only know hostility
Creating a place where these demons thrive

A Child’s innocence is used for selfish gain
So mommy can get high and feel no pain
A child that knows no love has no true perception of reality
And the system has no love our children are lost on technicality
Now your babies will have babies searching for the love that they lack
They should have had love unconditional
But instead they turn to crack
Because their family has made it traditional
There is nothing like the cries of a neglected child
Mommy is too high to provide
Taught too young to hold it all inside
Poison their minds with ***** little secrets they are forced to hide
Teach them to look for nothing and that’s all you will find
Because that is all that’s left inside

Fill their minds with worldly possessions
Take what you can get despite the moral transgression
Take God out of our schools because money is the new respect
Craving only negative attention
Because of the love they now reject
First born to poverty and aware before their time
Unable to provide life’s necessities
They are pushed towards drug sales and crime
Society will blame this transgression on lack of affection
But really they are affected by lack of direction
No money to feed the hungry and poor
Our inspiration is music, TV, drugs, guns and war
Poor because they have been dominated and oppressed
Look away from those in distress
Push us too regress
Give to those who already have by taking from those who have less
The only way to survive is to ******, hustle and deceive
There is a better way of life
But not a better way to make them believe
A better way to teach us to accept this fate is what they crave
A better way to give us the mentality of a slave
Their methods of birth control created to control the minority
We are now the majority
They are scared to death we have become the priority
Our people born of whips and chains and still left unbroken
Fed our children’s sorrows from which we choke
there are still too many truths left unspoken
I grew up in the system in California and I was lucky enough to make it out without the lasting scars of what abuse and neglect leave on a child because of God only. He gave me a survivor's mentality but I find it so sickening that the same people blaming this mentality on our society are they same people letting it all happen.
I've seen some sad **** before,
Tears in my eyes,
Stomach pains can’t even **** before.
I've seen some sad **** before,
Children with problems of grown men
Fathers missing, Mothers dismissing
The struggle, the hustle, they won’t admit it.
I've seen some sad **** before,
If you don’t misplace my statements
You’ll find a thought in my mind  
That reminds of you that time…
Well never mind you displaced it.
I've seen some sad **** before
Leaders on the path of the destruction
Followers to brainwashed to disrupt them
The word of God, flipped, and used by frauds
False prophets with greed in mind
Money talks, but they lie.
I've seen some sad **** before.
Like my reflection in the mirror
I couldn't picture it though
My green eyes diluted,
I thought I wasn't suited to strive
Suited to survive without the hands
That wiped my eyes.
I've seen some sad **** before.
But I've realized the world doesn't cry
It covers its pain with lies
Well, I've tried, to live the dream
But reality is mean
So I take the good, the bad, and the ugly
For what it means
We see distant galaxies as they dream
I've seen some sad **** before.
But now I know it gets worse
That my reality is a dream
To the ones who've seen
The horrible things
My green eyes lie,
So my tears hide
The worse cry dries red eyes
When you realize
You haven’t seen **** before
Some feelings overwhelming its like being burned alive
The pain is real takes time to heal
Sharp blade cuts through the skin bleeding out is real
Scabs over even though the blood flows out in a rush
You calm down everything will be fine
Emotions have you of balance walking a thin line
You want to know don't always know
Maybe its better not to know be left alone
Close my eyes feel my heart race
The unsettling rapid pace ask for the lords grace
Marked for dead not giving up because others said
Is sweet revenge all those who see me as nothing
Doing more than some do can't do everything trying
No waiting around ******* or crying
Underground my world is private true friend know the real
heavy lids yearn to
erase last nights hurt.
i struggle to smile real.
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