How my roots reached deep  i dont  understand,
Just a dip of the finger in honey was once
Then twice to hundreds of times,
I feel the thing taking over like a master sometimes
This aint honey any more
Now i feel im done, not defeated you know
Im done of my afflictions to this addiction
Time was true to my conviction before  accusation,
Many days waiting for the planetary alignment
A single focus was after enlightment ,
the light to the darkness was my endowment,
Evade its craving and fate of the cascate as the beast chuckles on the feast
Enraged i clench my fist,
tragic loves and terrible betrayals its taste
The missed flights and broken plans
Judge not lest you be judged,
The beast in me demanding to be fed
What it asks is unnatural and weird,
Pushed a catholic  for pork on lent
All my days fighting i spent
Sometimes i win this fight sometimes i lose to its palate,
thinning my wallet
But now am wise and i realise,
What am i even fighting for,
I call the shots  and therefore,
The beast imma lock him up in darkness for ever,
The might of the conscious is bigger
Imma tap just to a quarter
Replace this bad habit and tell the devil to kiss my ***

Me: What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
I hit rock bottom from the sky,
Cuz they go all crazy when i shine
Am so lucky that i didnt break my head
Am strong enough for the life ahead,
Never want them back
They stabb yah back,
Backbite yah back, orchestrate ya sorrows
Today and tommorrow
Like it alot when you go wrong
But we been friends for so **** long
My failure is the source of there laughter
But when together they be acting luster
Guess now ill run even faster,
Run even Faster pray even harder
*******
Tryn harder to hurt me further, like my deadbeat father,
Nolonger givn a **** bout what i feel
But still im stronger like steel,
See i  aint even wrong them,
I wonder why they do what they do

What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
Turn my other cheek no
I rise above them all now
(Do all that you can when you can do)
Remember them days back when i didnt mind my back,
My backpack full o packed coke we be runnin them blocks cuz we blacks never relaying on luck  i pick mosta them and the likes cut them some slack in my shack cuz they lackd,
We made a whole new home
They swore to never place greed before a ******, reciding them creeds like eminem,
before what we did in em streets to pull through,
my crew my life we cruise
We win we lose we floz
We never ceased to love
Is it too late...but it dawned on me it wasnt real
What can
what can i do
Too many people wishing you were dead,
(Do all that you can when you can do)
What can i do now
Turn my other cheek no
I rise above them all now
(Do all that you can when you can do)
We split tha ways cuz i wanted legit,  no more fakin it ,a  **** with a conscience look for a license protect the streets i raided cuz they raised me
Never place greed before a ****** is the creed we wrote you broke no longer broke you rich now but still robe the streets the many throats you slit for cults it occurred i hadto leave
I did the time for yall as you balled cuz i loved you all and you know how i loved Ael as her head you popped with them bullets
The same bullets i taught you to shoot
Give you the other cheek you sick,you know,
i had no other chic but Ael you weak freaks
Stick to them halls cuz im comin fo yer,
ill break my vows for her


Sending…

Ive ignored her on most nights,
acted like i didnt care
Because she was always there,
But in darkness i  miss her  shimmering
She goes across the sky
The light of day reflecting
Down on the empty street below
As echoes of bats  bellow
Her insistent persistance,
giving hope to thieves and watchers,
A little help to party goers
she cant let them all be alone
The moon
What a loathsome night it would be
Ghosts and demons reigning,
Like on a night she is hiding
Nightmares tormenting
Dutifully she  rises again
Calls out all stars in the galaxy
And begin the journey round the earth,
Round and round for eons
Before they invented neons
She  never discloses her age
But her beauty is vintage
In the dead of the night,
When stars glitter and crickets chirp,
I hear her whisper,
How much longer?

Me: Said i will always be numb to feelings,
Shut myself in no complications,
Blasting my music and doing my art,
Painting with words... images beautiful and hypnotic...
One day she rode by,
her looks exotic,
The evening  breeze
Eyes soulful and white ... with calm a composure,
She was a sweet torture,
I discarded the piece i was on  
She thought herself cooler than me,
loathing what i hated and adoring what i loved,
Saying yes before i asked like my clone...
i started on her art,
...Charming her way into my safe haven...
i thought it would be safer with her in
I painted  a beautiful genie in a heaven,
... singing to me songs  from another world,
Words invented,
I painted,
I painted feelings, seasons and galaxies,
Rocking to the beat with every stroke...
the genie by my side arms around my back,
Praising, encouraging with a pat
A masterpiece grew from my hands,
Emotions oozing from my art,
Cool breeze blowing my face
In this haven of two...
I finished ...i turned around...
the genie was gone
i wish i never let her in,
Its only safe with one,
me, myself.Me
Sending…

Dont say i didnt tell you,
Dont say i didnt say that someone always ends up hurt
Another fled, the other i pushed away, but you stayed,
Its my fault you hurt, for lending me your heart,
You...i liked you alot you know
...i should have locked you out,
Pushed you away when you came in...
You ...your serene big white eyes made me think otherwise,
Know that i tried...know that i believed...
But the winds kept tagging hard...
You brought calm over me...
I thought i was soulless with my blasting rock music...
But you saw what even i couldnt see...
I have not obliterated you from my heart completely,
Even thought the winds change, you will always be here,
Though youre already gone
Because you Fridaad my heart.

Through the years , through the tears,
through it all you were always there,
you are always there...always strong,
hopeful, faithful...patient....patient...
loving truly, feeling my joy, feeling my pain,
listening
teaching a few, suggesting a couple ....i appreciate
Thank you mama

Cool elegance, an aura of joy you possess, a one happy girlfriend...but not mine...
Mine deep down...my all...my dream girl...but am not hers either...not for the world to see...
We know it...only us...the electricity.. when the **** eyes meet...and the room heats...
phones vibrating with ignored texts...trance...hypnotized by deep passions...not embarrassed to reveal your carnal nature
The moments together...a world of difference..no one has to know.... I'm just happy this way...she is just happy this way...
No one has to know...i will keep loving you...i will keep keeping this crush till we are 70...i feel you deep down to my sinus ...and you know that..,
And I know that too...no matter how hard you try...you can never hide how you feel from me
No one has to know....no one will ever know...my secret love