You told me once
How you tried your hardest
Not to fall in love with me.

You found out
It was the easiest thing
You've ever done.

Loving myself
Well...
....that's the hardest thing I've ever done.

Seems no one can prove me wrong.
And I keep tripping over myself..

Glimmer of hope falsely announces itself
And, of course, my eyes light up at the possibilities..

This time, as always, seems different..
.. As always.. I'm left naked. Vulnerable.

I've been bruised all over.

Had my shoulder torn out of place

Ribs cracked from a solid blow.

My brow split open. Didn't even notice it.

Found myself out-numbered once, and stood my ground.

I've come across pain plenty, but I have rarely felt hurt.

Hurt doesn't come in the form of conflict.

It comes in through words.

Words are what hurt.

I've fallen to my knees because of words.

I have felt my whole world sink from the sheer weight of what's been said or what has been left in writing.

Words have left me in tears.

Words have left me gasping for air...

Words can leave their own scars if they cut deep enough.

....So does Silence..

And just like that...
Those impenetrable walls
Of Confinement
Writhed out from under the infertile soil.

So long was it
The process
Of removing such
Obstructions

.....For what??

Only to be reaffirmed
There is no room for
Comfort.
Not when I am breathing.

I would much rather be playing
In traffic.
Than to face the insults
I was so battered with this evening.

Want to know how callous
A life can be?
Carry my kind of heart
For any length of time.

You will most certainly lose any sight of hope
Even in yourself.