I can never expect
For you to come back and beg for what you threw away
I can only try to ignore
The magnetic pull that drags me to you

In all the pain that comes with missing you
I smile and breathe
Because you'll never be able to escape the story of you and me
I know your answer
To every question they could ever ask

*"Her name was Savannah."

Mama said don't play with fire
But you were so enticing
I had to know what it was like
To let your flames consume me

Oh how you've humbled me
Before you I believed I was like Hercules
But now
I work desperately to forgive you
So I don't have to lose you
Even though you're the one killing me

I like this place
A secret where I can write all my hidden thoughts
I never have to speak my shameful burdens aloud
To those who know me best
Because I find comfort in knowing
That thousands of strangers
Are where these troubles rest

I don't know if it's due to an unbelievable strength
Or just a irrefutable stubbornness that refuses to let me go
Maybe it's both

But try as hard as you might,
You will not be the reason I fall apart
You will not even have the privilege  of being mentioned when I tell my story

What's this feeling called
When your gut is sitting in your throat
And something feels like it's horribly wrong
As if you're about to get in trouble
Or you know you're about to be dumped
But everything is fine
And nothing falls apart

What causes this terror in my bones
That has no reason for being there
But sits whispering,
"You shouldn't be so sure"

I spoke in novels
And you responded with punctuation